The
The

The

Leslie
Leslie

Leslie

When
When

When

I Am
I Am

I Am

And
And

And

Hurtfully
Hurtfully

Hurtfully

Everything Hurts And Im Dying
Everything Hurts And Im Dying

Everything Hurts And Im Dying

Im Dying
Im Dying

Im Dying

deads
deads

deads

weekender
weekender

weekender

🔥 | Latest

Everything Hurts: Mallory Ortberg Follow @mallelis one of these days everything you've ever called your "spirit animal" is going to show up and it's going to make you go on a fucking quest 2:10 PM 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg @mallelis Follow and it's going to be awful. It will last for MONTHS and you will be d hallucinate and you will hate it. 2:11 PM 22 Oct 2013 and exhausted and you will Mallory Ortberg @mallelis Follow "Sorry," the GIF of a Rupaul's Drag Race contestant/6os-era Joan Didion/whatever the fuck else will say. "You asked. This is how it works." 2:11 PM 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg Follow @mallelis "Please," you'll beg, covered in ram's blood. "I don't want to learn any more spells. I don't want this." TOO BAD YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL IS HERE 2:12 PM- 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg Follow @mallelis And it won't stop there, because you've never just called ONE THING your spirit animal and left it at that.They all want a turn 2:13 PM - 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg У Follow @mallelis You will perch atop a waterfall in a murmuring cave in the cold heart of a witch mountain for a thousand vears until you can talk to birds 2:13 PM - 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg @mallelis Follow fuck that last part sounds cool scratch that 2:13 PM - 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg @mallelis Follow "Stop hitting yourself," the ghost of Gore Vidal will say. "You asked for a spirit animal. Isn't this what you wanted?" Everything hurts 2:18 PM - 22 Oct 2013 Mallory Ortberg @mallelis У Follow "No, I--I just sort of meant that I thought you were cool," you whisper That's not at all what spirit animals are," the darkness replie 2:21 PM - 22 Oct 2013 Osutein @osutein @mallelis Oof, kinda regretting watching Shame last night & calling Michael Fassbender's penis my spirit animal. 2h Follow @mallelis ibait躙bUU y fue: kj tng g沁萄1(劜(guesi @osutein h a wes fum gn dude 2:21 PM -22 Oct 2013 <p><a href="http://upthewitchypunx.tumblr.com/post/64877500126/i-come-by-it-honestly-mallory-orberg-on-fire-on" class="tumblr_blog">upthewitchypunx</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://i-come-by-it-honestly.tumblr.com/post/64754525123/mallory-orberg-on-fire-on-twitter-today-as">i-come-by-it-honestly</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://twitter.com/mallelis">Mallory Orberg</a> on fire on twitter today (as usual).</p> </blockquote> <p>lulz</p> </blockquote>
Everything Hurts: Mallory Ortberg
 Follow
 @mallelis
 one of these days everything you've ever called your
 "spirit animal" is going to show up and it's going to
 make you go on a fucking quest
 2:10 PM 22 Oct 2013
 Mallory Ortberg
 @mallelis
 Follow
 and it's going to be awful. It will last for MONTHS
 and you will be d
 hallucinate and you will hate it.
 2:11 PM 22 Oct 2013
 and exhausted and you will
 Mallory Ortberg
 @mallelis
 Follow
 "Sorry," the GIF of a Rupaul's Drag Race
 contestant/6os-era Joan Didion/whatever the fuck
 else will say. "You asked. This is how it works."
 2:11 PM 22 Oct 2013
 Mallory Ortberg
 Follow
 @mallelis
 "Please," you'll beg, covered in ram's blood. "I don't
 want to learn any more spells. I don't want this."
 TOO BAD YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL IS HERE
 2:12 PM- 22 Oct 2013

 Mallory Ortberg
 Follow
 @mallelis
 And it won't stop there, because you've never just
 called ONE THING your spirit animal and left it at
 that.They all want a turn
 2:13 PM - 22 Oct 2013
 Mallory Ortberg
 У Follow
 @mallelis
 You will perch atop a waterfall in a murmuring cave
 in the cold heart of a witch mountain for a thousand
 vears until you can talk to birds
 2:13 PM - 22 Oct 2013
 Mallory Ortberg
 @mallelis
 Follow
 fuck that last part sounds cool scratch that
 2:13 PM - 22 Oct 2013
 Mallory Ortberg
 @mallelis
 Follow
 "Stop hitting yourself," the ghost of Gore Vidal will
 say. "You asked for a spirit animal. Isn't this what
 you wanted?" Everything hurts
 2:18 PM - 22 Oct 2013
 Mallory Ortberg
 @mallelis
 У Follow
 "No, I--I just sort of meant that I thought you were
 cool," you whisper
 That's not at all what spirit animals are," the
 darkness replie
 2:21 PM - 22 Oct 2013

 Osutein @osutein
 @mallelis Oof, kinda regretting watching Shame last night & calling
 Michael Fassbender's penis my spirit animal.
 2h
 Follow
 @mallelis
 ibait躙bUU y fue: kj tng g沁萄1(劜(guesi
 @osutein h a wes fum gn
 dude
 2:21 PM -22 Oct 2013
<p><a href="http://upthewitchypunx.tumblr.com/post/64877500126/i-come-by-it-honestly-mallory-orberg-on-fire-on" class="tumblr_blog">upthewitchypunx</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://i-come-by-it-honestly.tumblr.com/post/64754525123/mallory-orberg-on-fire-on-twitter-today-as">i-come-by-it-honestly</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://twitter.com/mallelis">Mallory Orberg</a> on fire on twitter today (as usual).</p>
</blockquote>
<p>lulz</p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="http://upthewitchypunx.tumblr.com/post/64877500126/i-come-by-it-honestly-mallory-orberg-on-fire-on" class="tumblr_blog">upthe...