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Who Would

Who Would

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The One

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Independent

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That

That

And
And

And

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Off

Off

place
 place

place

leash
leash

leash

knew
knew

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Brains, Head, and Life: Have you ever had a job where you did nothing for years and nobody found out? Shayne Wyatt Answered Sep 22 Once worked at a steel company and there used to be this guy with a clipboard and pen who would continually be in the stock area checking labels, boxes, pallets, shipping packages. His name was Bob and everyone liked him, he was personable, was into sports, just an all round nice guy who got along with everyone staff, managers, bosses, everyone. Bob had been with the company all of 15 years by then, and you have to understand, this was a large steel mill with a couple thousand people working throughout the three mills on the same property. Anyway, at a managers meeting a decision was made to have an employee look after a certain area of finished nails, screws, nuts and bolts. They were scratching their head about who had the brains to handle it. One of the managers said, "Why not Bob?" Everyone knew right away who he was referring to and they all agreed he would probably be the best man for the job. The next question out of the manager's mouth was "Okay, which one of you guys does he work for?" And no one said a word, but looked around the table at the other managers. "C'mon, he's gotta work for someone here." The manager said, and still there was no answer. Someone piped up, "Maybe he works for one of the office managers." Long story short Bob worked at the plant for over 15 years, collecting a paycheck each and every week. For the first five years he worked in a department that became obsolete and so people were moved around to other areas of the mill, except for Bob. He got lost in the shuffle and found himself floating here and there without supervision or anyone ever paying attention to him. He waited to see if he would still get a paycheck and when that happened he thought at the time, "Well, I wonder how long I can get away with this before someone notices?" How about 10 years folks of weekly paychecks coming in without ever having had to work a day in his life. When this came out it was the talk of the whole operations and even reached the president of the company who could only laugh at the whole situation. Nonetheless Bob was let go, but HR told them they had to offer him a good severance package because he was an employee after all for the full 15 years he was there, and it was not his fault he had nothing to do. Management should have caught it in the beginning. I'm 75 now and this happened when I was still a young man, and had pretty much forgotten about it all until I read the question and I could not hold back a big silly grin about a wonderfully silly memory of Bob. Thanks for the memory Shayne
Brains, Head, and Life: Have you ever had a job
 where you did nothing for
 years and nobody found out?
 Shayne Wyatt
 Answered Sep 22
 Once worked at a steel company and there used
 to be this guy with a clipboard and pen who
 would continually be in the stock area checking
 labels, boxes, pallets, shipping packages. His
 name was Bob and everyone liked him, he was
 personable, was into sports, just an all round
 nice guy who got along with everyone staff,
 managers, bosses, everyone. Bob had been with
 the company all of 15 years by then, and you
 have to understand, this was a large steel mill
 with a couple thousand people working
 throughout the three mills on the same
 property. Anyway, at a managers meeting a
 decision was made to have an employee look
 after a certain area of finished nails, screws,
 nuts and bolts. They were scratching their head

 about who had the brains to handle it. One of
 the managers said, "Why not Bob?" Everyone
 knew right away who he was referring to and
 they all agreed he would probably be the best
 man for the job. The next question out of the
 manager's mouth was "Okay, which one of you
 guys does he work for?" And no one said a
 word, but looked around the table at the other
 managers. "C'mon, he's gotta work for someone
 here." The manager said, and still there was no
 answer. Someone piped up, "Maybe he works
 for one of the office managers." Long story
 short Bob worked at the plant for over 15 years,
 collecting a paycheck each and every week. For
 the first five years he worked in a department
 that became obsolete and so people were
 moved around to other areas of the mill, except
 for Bob. He got lost in the shuffle and found
 himself floating here and there without
 supervision or anyone ever paying attention to
 him. He waited to see if he would still get a
 paycheck and when that happened he thought
 at the time, "Well, I wonder how long I can get
 away with this before someone notices?" How

 about 10 years folks of weekly paychecks
 coming in without ever having had to work a
 day in his life. When this came out it was the
 talk of the whole operations and even reached
 the president of the company who could only
 laugh at the whole situation. Nonetheless Bob
 was let go, but HR told them they had to offer
 him a good severance package because he was
 an employee after all for the full 15 years he was
 there, and it was not his fault he had nothing to
 do. Management should have caught it in the
 beginning. I'm 75 now and this happened when
 I was still a young man, and had pretty much
 forgotten about it all until I read the question
 and I could not hold back a big silly grin about a
 wonderfully silly memory of Bob.
 Thanks for the memory
 Shayne
Bad, Beyonce, and Family: * Follow l Suplexed Plies @POWT This is the funniest comment section of all time ooo Sprint 12:52 AM Q Searclh Humans of New York Yesterday at 3:07 PM . "Sometimes I hate my name because it always draws attention to me, and l'm not a very social person. My family moved this year from Pennsylvania. I was so scared the first day of school that someone would notice me. I wouldn't even adjust my seat because I thought it would make a noise. One time I really had to cough, but I held it in. When the teacher started calling attendance, I got really nervous, because every time people learn my name is Beyoncé, somebody starts singing Single Ladies.' And some did, of course. But the second day of school wasn't too bad. Because everyone knew my name." Write a comment... Post News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More ooo Sprint 12:52 AM Q Searclh Jim Socks Try being named Gym Socks Yesterday at 3:56 PM Unlike 43.7K Reply Indi Love Replied 808 Replies Jane Bond Checking in. I have to use my boyfriend's name when making a lot of reservations because people think lI'm lying. Then they ask me if my dad's name is James. And it is ( Yesterday at 3:54 PM Unlike 36.2K Reply Natisha Phillips Replied 340 Replies Shakira Lamb l feel your pain! Every time someone hears my name is Shakira, I get asked if my hips don't lie. Yesterday at 3:46 PM Unlike 3.6K Reply Salvador Alejandro Replied 23 Replies Jack Haas Hey my name pretty much sucks too! Yesterday at 3:37 PM Unlike 5.7K Reply Write a comment... Post News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More ooo Sprint 12:52 AM Q Searclh Julia Roberts I understand this completely. Although, I am pretty social, I can still be kinda shy. When people learn of my name, they always begin singing "Pretty Woman" so I just sit and laugh. It's funny though, because I actually want to become an actress. Be proud of your name, keep your head up! Yesterday at 3:35 PM Unlike 6.4K Reply Julia Roberts Replied 9 Replies Jennifer Lopez I can relate to this. :-) Yesterday at 3:31 PM Unlike 35K Reply Cassandra McNeil Replied 122 Replies Isis Cacahouète My name is Isis Yesterday at 3:22 PM Unlike 14.6K Reply Katie Smith Replied 278 Replies Rachel Green always being asked if i found my Ross yet... Yesterday at 4:44 PM Like 3K Reply Write a comment... Post News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More .ooo Sprint ? 12:53 AM Q Searclh Meghan Griffin The Meg Griffin jokes are endless. Yesterday at 4:26 PM Like 1.4K Reply Thomas Pedrosa Replied 19 Replies Mystic Storm A toast to all of us that will never find our names on key chains or coffee mugs! Yesterday at 4:19 PM . Like- 2.1K . Reply Tear Smith Replied 30 Replies Travis DeWolf My name is Travis. I'm a girl. Yesterday at 4:13 PM Like 1.5K Reply Caitlin Badke Replied 26 Replies MaryKate Olsen Believe me, I understand. My name really is Mary Kate Olsen. I get all of the Olsen twins jokes you can imagine. Yesterday at 3:56 PM Like1.2K Reply Eve Lewis Replied . 9 Replies Write a comment... Post News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More
Bad, Beyonce, and Family: * Follow
 l Suplexed Plies
 @POWT
 This is the funniest comment section of all
 time

 ooo Sprint
 12:52 AM
 Q Searclh
 Humans of New York
 Yesterday at 3:07 PM .
 "Sometimes I hate my name because it always draws
 attention to me, and l'm not a very social person. My
 family moved this year from Pennsylvania. I was so
 scared the first day of school that someone would
 notice me. I wouldn't even adjust my seat because I
 thought it would make a noise. One time I really had
 to cough, but I held it in. When the teacher started
 calling attendance, I got really nervous, because
 every time people learn my name is Beyoncé,
 somebody starts singing Single Ladies.' And some
 did, of course. But the second day of school wasn't
 too bad. Because everyone knew my name."
 Write a comment...
 Post
 News Feed
 Requests Messenger Notifications
 More

 ooo Sprint
 12:52 AM
 Q Searclh
 Jim Socks
 Try being named Gym Socks
 Yesterday at 3:56 PM Unlike 43.7K Reply
 Indi Love Replied 808 Replies
 Jane Bond
 Checking in. I have to use my boyfriend's
 name when making a lot of reservations
 because people think lI'm lying. Then they
 ask me if my dad's name is James.
 And it is (
 Yesterday at 3:54 PM Unlike 36.2K Reply
 Natisha Phillips Replied 340 Replies
 Shakira Lamb
 l feel your pain! Every time someone hears
 my name is Shakira, I get asked if my hips
 don't lie.
 Yesterday at 3:46 PM Unlike 3.6K Reply
 Salvador Alejandro Replied 23 Replies
 Jack Haas
 Hey my name pretty much sucks too!
 Yesterday at 3:37 PM Unlike 5.7K Reply
 Write a comment...
 Post
 News Feed
 Requests
 Messenger Notifications
 More

 ooo Sprint
 12:52 AM
 Q Searclh
 Julia Roberts
 I understand this completely. Although, I
 am pretty social, I can still be kinda shy.
 When people learn of my name, they always
 begin singing "Pretty Woman" so I just sit
 and laugh. It's funny though, because I
 actually want to become an actress. Be
 proud of your name, keep your head up!
 Yesterday at 3:35 PM Unlike 6.4K Reply
 Julia Roberts Replied 9 Replies
 Jennifer Lopez
 I can relate to this. :-)
 Yesterday at 3:31 PM Unlike 35K Reply
 Cassandra McNeil Replied 122 Replies
 Isis Cacahouète
 My name is Isis
 Yesterday at 3:22 PM Unlike
 14.6K Reply
 Katie Smith Replied
 278 Replies
 Rachel Green
 always being asked if i found my Ross yet...
 Yesterday at 4:44 PM Like 3K Reply
 Write a comment...
 Post
 News Feed
 Requests
 Messenger Notifications
 More

 .ooo Sprint ?
 12:53 AM
 Q Searclh
 Meghan Griffin
 The Meg Griffin jokes are endless.
 Yesterday at 4:26 PM Like 1.4K Reply
 Thomas Pedrosa Replied 19 Replies
 Mystic Storm
 A toast to all of us that will never find our
 names on key chains or coffee mugs!
 Yesterday at 4:19 PM . Like- 2.1K . Reply
 Tear Smith Replied 30 Replies
 Travis DeWolf
 My name is Travis. I'm a girl.
 Yesterday at 4:13 PM Like 1.5K Reply
 Caitlin Badke Replied 26 Replies
 MaryKate Olsen
 Believe me, I understand. My name really is
 Mary Kate Olsen. I get all of the Olsen twins
 jokes you can imagine.
 Yesterday at 3:56 PM Like1.2K Reply
 Eve Lewis Replied . 9 Replies
 Write a comment...
 Post
 News Feed
 Requests
 Messenger Notifications
 More
America, Baked, and Complex: Pillsbury Crescent Dough Sheet TDough Sheet Original copperbadge: kimije: copperbadge: Did you guys know they make straight-up sheets of non-triangle-cut canned crescent roll dough now? I figured everyone knew but I told my mum and it BLEW HER MIND so I figured I should probably tell the internet, just in case.  I can’t hold it in any more WHY WHY IS THE DOUGH IN A CAN AMERICA THE LAND OF THE CANS WHY WHAT IS THIS CANS ARE FOR THINGS THAT YOU LEAVE AT THE BACK OF THE CUPBOARD FOR 6 YEARS AND THEN THROW OUT WHEN YOU MOVE OR PIE FILLING I’LL GIVE YOU THE PIE FILLING BUT DOUGH? MEAT? YES THEY PUT MEAT IN CANS TOO! HEATHENS! Canning has a long tradition in America, going back to the colonization of the east coast and later of the west, where isolated farmhouses might go weeks without access to a dry goods store and had no access at all to fresh food in the winter (barring winter hunting, which could not get you fruits and veg). Canning was a common practice to make sure you had some kind of plant food to survive the winter months.  During the early 20th century, when industrialized food preservation and production was picking up (especially because long-term preservation was necessary for feeding troops in combat) canned food became commonplace, including in poor urban areas where refrigeration wasn’t available. Canned meat, because of mass production, might be more available and less costly than fresh meat, and would certainly last longer. (It’s now considered subpar to easily available fresh meat, but many people still have a can in their pantry or two, just in case, and canned tuna is a quite popular way to keep fresh cooked fish around for snacking without dealing with the smell). For households with two working parents or with only one parent, canned food was a convenient way to stock the larder for the week and still be able to provide your family with a decent meal. During the war, women who worked during the day and had a husband off in combat (or had a husband who had died in combat) still had to come home and feed their families, but without the eight hours a day they normally had to shop, prepare, and cook a meal (and do the laundry, and clean the home, and the million other unpaid labor activities that are always overlooked in homemakers and took a lot longer before industrialization). After WWII, canned food was a major sub-industry because of all this, but with improved shipping speeds and preservation methods, it was also on the decline as an in-demand product; we started getting seasonal fruit and veg year-round which put the demand for canned food, sold next to said fresh food, on the decline. Marketing offices for canned food producers turned to aggressively marketing quick-cook recipes as a method of selling more product – if you can empty a can of condensed cream-of-mushroom soup into a dish instead of chopping and sauteeing fresh mushrooms and adding a cream-soup base, you’d save at least forty to fifty minutes of your time, you wouldn’t have to worry about buying mushrooms and cream (neither of which keep long, even in refrigeration) and you’d get a meal that was still pretty tasty. Particularly for boomers, who were raised on this method of cooking, it’s a totally normal flavor in prepared food. Keeping a can of cream-of-mushroom soup in the pantry was standard, and we used them in our house with regularity. The only reason I don’t keep one in my own pantry is that I have a dry soup mix that just requires adding mushrooms, and I have pre-chopped mushrooms available to me within two blocks of my apartment, plus the time, money, and able-bodiedness to procure them. You can get five or six cans of cream of mushroom soup for the cost of a pint of cream and a container of mushrooms, and you don’t have to walk from the veg aisle on one side of the store to the dairy aisle, usually on the opposite side.  Also in the 1950s, canned food was a common stockpile item against nuclear winter. Cold-war thinking bred two generations, the Boomers and the older GenXers, who wanted lots of food on hand in case we ended up nuked by Russia. Preparation for the Cold War honestly is the reason that people freak out about natural disasters and end up buying tons of fresh food, because those two generations were indoctrinated into the idea that any disaster means lack of available food.  And canned food in the pantry means if you get home at the end of the day and you’re exhausted, you don’t have to drive to a supermarket (remember that in the US there are very few corner groceries outside of major urban areas anymore, and many urban areas contain “food deserts” with no groceries at all). You can open a can, pour it into a pot, maybe dress it up a little, and have a decent hot meal. Making baked beans from dried beans, if you don’t have a pressure cooker, takes hours even if you do have a slow cooker; making baked beans from a can takes either 30 minutes (if you have plain canned beans; this also requires tomato sauce or ketchup or bbq sauce, plus brown sugar or molasses) or 10 minutes (if you have canned pork and beans, which might enjoy some added mustard and bbq sauce but don’t require them). And it’s a reasonably nutritious, filling meal.  Canned bread dough has to be refrigerated. It’s a sub-luxury food – it’s cheap and convenient but still needs to be bought relatively fresh and requires some, but not much, labor to prepare. It’s a nice dressing on the table if you have extra energy, or a fun meal to make with your family that doesn’t involve hours in the kitchen. Rolling little sausages up in Pilsbury dough takes maybe half an hour, but it doesn’t take the hour and a half to two hours it would if you had to make the dough from scratch. And in our culture where “quick cook” is aggressively marketed to sell convenience foods, there’s some competition to be had in terms of who can come up with the most imaginative use of this food – what’s the best thing to stuff into the bread, how do you cope best with the triangular shape, how delicious can you make this essentially convenience food.  So, in short (too late) canned food in this country arises from need and continues to cater to it, influenced by a combination of Madison Avenue, the military-industrial complex, and the shrinking quality of life for the middle and working class. 
America, Baked, and Complex: Pillsbury
 Crescent
 Dough Sheet
 TDough Sheet
 Original
copperbadge:

kimije:

copperbadge:

Did you guys know they make straight-up sheets of non-triangle-cut canned crescent roll dough now? I figured everyone knew but I told my mum and it BLEW HER MIND so I figured I should probably tell the internet, just in case. 

I can’t hold it in any more WHY WHY IS THE DOUGH IN A CAN AMERICA THE LAND OF THE CANS WHY WHAT IS THIS CANS ARE FOR THINGS THAT YOU LEAVE AT THE BACK OF THE CUPBOARD FOR 6 YEARS AND THEN THROW OUT WHEN YOU MOVE OR PIE FILLING I’LL GIVE YOU THE PIE FILLING BUT DOUGH? MEAT? YES THEY PUT MEAT IN CANS TOO! HEATHENS!

Canning has a long tradition in America, going back to the colonization of the east coast and later of the west, where isolated farmhouses might go weeks without access to a dry goods store and had no access at all to fresh food in the winter (barring winter hunting, which could not get you fruits and veg). Canning was a common practice to make sure you had some kind of plant food to survive the winter months. 
During the early 20th century, when industrialized food preservation and production was picking up (especially because long-term preservation was necessary for feeding troops in combat) canned food became commonplace, including in poor urban areas where refrigeration wasn’t available. Canned meat, because of mass production, might be more available and less costly than fresh meat, and would certainly last longer. (It’s now considered subpar to easily available fresh meat, but many people still have a can in their pantry or two, just in case, and canned tuna is a quite popular way to keep fresh cooked fish around for snacking without dealing with the smell). For households with two working parents or with only one parent, canned food was a convenient way to stock the larder for the week and still be able to provide your family with a decent meal. During the war, women who worked during the day and had a husband off in combat (or had a husband who had died in combat) still had to come home and feed their families, but without the eight hours a day they normally had to shop, prepare, and cook a meal (and do the laundry, and clean the home, and the million other unpaid labor activities that are always overlooked in homemakers and took a lot longer before industrialization).
After WWII, canned food was a major sub-industry because of all this, but with improved shipping speeds and preservation methods, it was also on the decline as an in-demand product; we started getting seasonal fruit and veg year-round which put the demand for canned food, sold next to said fresh food, on the decline. Marketing offices for canned food producers turned to aggressively marketing quick-cook recipes as a method of selling more product – if you can empty a can of condensed cream-of-mushroom soup into a dish instead of chopping and sauteeing fresh mushrooms and adding a cream-soup base, you’d save at least forty to fifty minutes of your time, you wouldn’t have to worry about buying mushrooms and cream (neither of which keep long, even in refrigeration) and you’d get a meal that was still pretty tasty. Particularly for boomers, who were raised on this method of cooking, it’s a totally normal flavor in prepared food. Keeping a can of cream-of-mushroom soup in the pantry was standard, and we used them in our house with regularity. The only reason I don’t keep one in my own pantry is that I have a dry soup mix that just requires adding mushrooms, and I have pre-chopped mushrooms available to me within two blocks of my apartment, plus the time, money, and able-bodiedness to procure them. You can get five or six cans of cream of mushroom soup for the cost of a pint of cream and a container of mushrooms, and you don’t have to walk from the veg aisle on one side of the store to the dairy aisle, usually on the opposite side. 
Also in the 1950s, canned food was a common stockpile item against nuclear winter. Cold-war thinking bred two generations, the Boomers and the older GenXers, who wanted lots of food on hand in case we ended up nuked by Russia. Preparation for the Cold War honestly is the reason that people freak out about natural disasters and end up buying tons of fresh food, because those two generations were indoctrinated into the idea that any disaster means lack of available food. 
And canned food in the pantry means if you get home at the end of the day and you’re exhausted, you don’t have to drive to a supermarket (remember that in the US there are very few corner groceries outside of major urban areas anymore, and many urban areas contain “food deserts” with no groceries at all). You can open a can, pour it into a pot, maybe dress it up a little, and have a decent hot meal. Making baked beans from dried beans, if you don’t have a pressure cooker, takes hours even if you do have a slow cooker; making baked beans from a can takes either 30 minutes (if you have plain canned beans; this also requires tomato sauce or ketchup or bbq sauce, plus brown sugar or molasses) or 10 minutes (if you have canned pork and beans, which might enjoy some added mustard and bbq sauce but don’t require them). And it’s a reasonably nutritious, filling meal. 
Canned bread dough has to be refrigerated. It’s a sub-luxury food – it’s cheap and convenient but still needs to be bought relatively fresh and requires some, but not much, labor to prepare. It’s a nice dressing on the table if you have extra energy, or a fun meal to make with your family that doesn’t involve hours in the kitchen. Rolling little sausages up in Pilsbury dough takes maybe half an hour, but it doesn’t take the hour and a half to two hours it would if you had to make the dough from scratch. And in our culture where “quick cook” is aggressively marketed to sell convenience foods, there’s some competition to be had in terms of who can come up with the most imaginative use of this food – what’s the best thing to stuff into the bread, how do you cope best with the triangular shape, how delicious can you make this essentially convenience food. 
So, in short (too late) canned food in this country arises from need and continues to cater to it, influenced by a combination of Madison Avenue, the military-industrial complex, and the shrinking quality of life for the middle and working class. 

copperbadge: kimije: copperbadge: Did you guys know they make straight-up sheets of non-triangle-cut canned crescent roll dough now? I fi...

Fucking, Girls, and School: intimatepasta retiredjesus: what if one day tumblr decided to reveal all anon messages I have a storyll! One time someone from my school made this confession page on Twitter that you could text and it would immediately post on the Twitter page, completely anonymously. It spread really quickly and everyone knew by the second day it was going on. Some awful things were being said on it, I mean literally no one was spared. No one had any clue who was running it and they wouldn't filter any messages. The school board got so sick of this account that they contacted authorities to see what they could do to shut it down, but since it wasn't affillated with the school, technically, they couldn't shut it down. So, this went on for four days, just awful messages being posted about one another with no clue who was posting them (as anyone could text the number to send in). Then came the finale which changed everything. At eight, they would accept any DMs and post them, any texts, and then post them all at once at midnight. Everyone was rushing to send in their confessions, and like 100 or so came in. Midnight comes. Messages flood in. Then the owner posts something a little weird, along the lines of, 'Nothing was anonymous after all. And posts a fUCKING LINK WITH ALL THE NUMBERS AND THE MESSAGES EACH POSTED AND SCREENSHOTS OF ALL DMS AND THE NEXT DAY THERE WERE LITERALLY FIVE DIFFERENT FIGHTS IS THIS MEAN GIRLS?!! Source: retiredjesus 125,171 notes What if one day Tumblr decided to reveal all anon messages
Fucking, Girls, and School: intimatepasta
 retiredjesus:
 what if one day tumblr decided to reveal all anon messages
 I have a storyll!
 One time someone from my school made this confession page on
 Twitter that you could text and it would immediately post on the Twitter
 page, completely anonymously. It spread really quickly and everyone
 knew by the second day it was going on. Some awful things were being
 said on it, I mean literally no one was spared. No one had any clue who
 was running it and they wouldn't filter any messages. The school board
 got so sick of this account that they contacted authorities to see what
 they could do to shut it down, but since it wasn't affillated with the school,
 technically, they couldn't shut it down.
 So, this went on for four days, just awful messages being posted about
 one another with no clue who was posting them (as anyone could text
 the number to send in). Then came the finale which changed everything.
 At eight, they would accept any DMs and post them, any texts, and then
 post them all at once at midnight. Everyone was rushing to send in their
 confessions, and like 100 or so came in.
 Midnight comes. Messages flood in. Then the owner posts something a
 little weird, along the lines of, 'Nothing was anonymous after all. And
 posts a fUCKING LINK WITH ALL THE NUMBERS AND THE
 MESSAGES EACH POSTED AND SCREENSHOTS OF ALL DMS AND
 THE NEXT DAY THERE WERE LITERALLY FIVE DIFFERENT FIGHTS
 IS THIS MEAN GIRLS?!!
 Source: retiredjesus
 125,171 notes
What if one day Tumblr decided to reveal all anon messages

What if one day Tumblr decided to reveal all anon messages