Escalator
Escalator

Escalator

Meme Comic
Meme Comic

Meme Comic

dream-come-true
dream-come-true

dream-come-true

visualizer
 visualizer

visualizer

noobness
 noobness

noobness

homed
homed

homed

confer
confer

confer

reasons
reasons

reasons

detente
detente

detente

there
there

there

🔥 | Latest

Bad, Bored, and Friday: THE HELL WAS ALL THAT ABOuT HE HAS HIS GOOD GuALITIES EX-BOYFRIEND. MESSY BREAK-UP HE SEEMS LIKE A REAL PIECE OF WORK OH YEAH, LIKE WHAT? HE'S TALENTED ATHLETIC, FUNNY SEXY, SMART WELL HE'S SELFISH, DOuCHEY, RUDE, JuDGEMENTA HE CAN BE REALLY SWEET A GOOD COOK Too POsSESSIvE AND CLINGY AND HE ALWAYS BUT? MAKES ME FEEL LKE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH DAMN HE'S YouR EX FOR A REASON, SN'T HE? DOES HE NOT LOOK LKE THE HAS HE EVER BEEN VIOLENT? LIKE, WE'Ve HA OUR FIGHTS BUT HE'5 NEVER HURT ME LIKE THAT GUY You PUNCHED A NIGHT AGO? OH GOSH No! WOuLD IT BE uNSuRPRISING To Vou IF HE LED A DOUBLE LIFE? WHY ARE You ASKING ME THAT? I MEAN SURE,THERE ARE SIMILARITIES THEY DO BOTH HAVE MOHAWKS HIM? ACE?! THERE'S NO FRICKEN I'VE KNOWN HIM SINCE HIGH SCHOOL AND WE DATED FOR 2 YEARS A SIMILAR PHYSIQUE WAY! I THINK I'D KNOW IF HE HAD POWERS AND A BAD MOuTH BuT I'M SURE A LOT OR PEOPLE MATCH THAT DESCRIPTION I YOu KNEW WOuLD YOU TELL ME? you DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT FAR BUT I APPRECIATE IT L'D DIE FOR YOu! OKAY W LET'S GET GOING THEN HEAVY BREATHING PUT THIS ON WOWIE! S THAT YOURS? os WHO ELSE'S wouLD IT BE? Y'KNOW THE LAST TIME I WAS ON A MOTOR CYCLE I FELL THE FUCK OFF AND THEN L roLLEd DOWN THE HILL FOR TIME LET'S NOT DO THAT I WouLD HAVE BROuGHTA CAR BUT IT'S NOT AS FuN S0 I DON'T HAVE But JUST CLIMB ON UP BEHIND You? ONE YUP SAMIRA BORED... WISH I WAS BORED ELI'S RLY GOT HIS RUSTLES JIMMIED ELI CAN EAT MY SHORTS uM, IS IT OKAY IF I HOLD ON TO You? HE'S S0 FIRM HOLD ON AS CLOSELY AS YOu NEED WANT You ROLLING DOWN ANY HILLs sharpzero: Been unsuccessfully fighting off all the awful Southern California flus and such. Will finally be in France next Thursday, Next update will be on Friday. Next page is already up on Patreon if u want to check it out: patreon.com/robotsharksMy store will be closed for shipping 3 weeks after March 21st so if you want to get stuff before then, now’s the time to nab it at gumroad.com/robotsharks
nsfw
Bad, Bored, and Friday: THE HELL
 WAS ALL THAT
 ABOuT
 HE HAS
 HIS GOOD
 GuALITIES
 EX-BOYFRIEND.
 MESSY BREAK-UP
 HE SEEMS
 LIKE A REAL
 PIECE OF WORK
 OH YEAH,
 LIKE WHAT?
 HE'S TALENTED
 ATHLETIC, FUNNY
 SEXY, SMART
 WELL
 HE'S SELFISH,
 DOuCHEY, RUDE,
 JuDGEMENTA
 HE CAN
 BE REALLY
 SWEET
 A GOOD
 COOK Too
 POsSESSIvE
 AND CLINGY
 AND HE ALWAYS
 BUT?
 MAKES ME
 FEEL LKE
 I'M NOT
 GOOD
 ENOUGH
 DAMN
 HE'S YouR
 EX FOR A
 REASON,
 SN'T HE?
 DOES HE NOT
 LOOK LKE THE
 HAS HE
 EVER BEEN
 VIOLENT?
 LIKE, WE'Ve
 HA OUR FIGHTS
 BUT HE'5 NEVER
 HURT ME LIKE
 THAT
 GUY You PUNCHED
 A NIGHT AGO?
 OH GOSH
 No!
 WOuLD IT
 BE uNSuRPRISING
 To Vou IF HE LED
 A DOUBLE LIFE?
 WHY ARE
 You ASKING
 ME THAT?

 I MEAN
 SURE,THERE
 ARE SIMILARITIES
 THEY DO
 BOTH HAVE
 MOHAWKS
 HIM? ACE?!
 THERE'S NO
 FRICKEN
 I'VE KNOWN
 HIM SINCE HIGH
 SCHOOL AND WE
 DATED FOR
 2 YEARS
 A SIMILAR
 PHYSIQUE
 WAY!
 I THINK I'D
 KNOW IF HE
 HAD POWERS
 AND A BAD
 MOuTH BuT
 I'M SURE
 A LOT OR
 PEOPLE MATCH
 THAT DESCRIPTION
 I YOu
 KNEW
 WOuLD
 YOU TELL
 ME?
 you DIDN'T
 HAVE TO GO
 THAT FAR BUT
 I APPRECIATE
 IT
 L'D DIE
 FOR YOu!
 OKAY W
 LET'S GET
 GOING THEN
 HEAVY BREATHING
 PUT THIS
 ON
 WOWIE!
 S THAT
 YOURS?
 os
 WHO ELSE'S
 wouLD IT
 BE?
 Y'KNOW
 THE LAST
 TIME I WAS
 ON A MOTOR
 CYCLE I FELL
 THE FUCK
 OFF
 AND THEN
 L roLLEd DOWN
 THE HILL FOR
 TIME
 LET'S NOT
 DO THAT

 I WouLD HAVE
 BROuGHTA CAR
 BUT IT'S NOT AS
 FuN
 S0 I
 DON'T HAVE
 But
 JUST CLIMB
 ON UP BEHIND
 You?
 ONE
 YUP
 SAMIRA
 BORED...
 WISH I WAS BORED
 ELI'S RLY GOT HIS
 RUSTLES JIMMIED
 ELI CAN
 EAT MY
 SHORTS
 uM, IS
 IT OKAY
 IF I HOLD
 ON TO
 You?
 HE'S
 S0
 FIRM
 HOLD ON
 AS CLOSELY
 AS YOu NEED
 WANT You
 ROLLING DOWN
 ANY HILLs
sharpzero:

Been unsuccessfully fighting off all the awful Southern California flus and such. Will finally be in France next Thursday, Next update will be on Friday. Next page is already up on Patreon if u want to check it out: patreon.com/robotsharksMy store will be closed for shipping 3 weeks after March 21st so if you want to get stuff before then, now’s the time to nab it at gumroad.com/robotsharks

sharpzero: Been unsuccessfully fighting off all the awful Southern California flus and such. Will finally be in France next Thursday, Next ...

Bodies , Children, and Climbing: Drowning in real life looks nothing like in the movies, and in fact many parents actually watch their children drown, having no idea that it's happening Ultrafacts.tumblr.com faikitty: mermaibee: ultrafacts: According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening. Drowning does not look like drowning—Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this: “Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs. Drowning people’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water. Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe. Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment. From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.” This doesn’t mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isn’t in real trouble—they are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesn’t last long—but unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc. Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water: Head low in the water, mouth at water level Head tilted back with mouth open Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus Eyes closed Hair over forehead or eyes Not using legs—vertical Hyperventilating or gasping Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway Trying to roll over on the back Appear to be climbing an invisible ladder So if a crew member falls overboard and everything looks OK—don’t be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them, “Are you all right?” If they can answer at all—they probably are. If they return a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parents—children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why. Source/article: [x] Follow Ultrafacts for more facts! BOOST FOR THE SUMMER. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Can I just say thank you to OP for putting such a detailed description on this? I’ve been a lifeguard for 6 years now and of all the saves I’ve done, maybe two or three had people drowning in the stereotypical thrashing style. And even those, like the save I made last weekend, it was exactly like OP describes where the person’s head is going in and out of the water but it isn’t long enough to get any air. Mostly you recognize drowning by the look on someone’s face. If someone looks wide eyed and terrified or confused, chances are they’re drowning. That look of “oh shit” is pretty easily recognizable. And even if you can’t tell for sure: GO AFTER THEM ANYWAY. I’ve done “saves” where a kid was pretending to drown and I mistook it for real drowning, but that’s preferable to a kid ACTUALLY drowning. Also please remember that even strong swimmers can drown if they have a medical emergency, get cramps, or get too tired. If your friend knows how to swim but they’re acting funny get them to land. And even if someone can respond when you ask them if they need help, if they say they do need help? GO HELP THEM. However . If the victim is a stranger, I can’t recommend trying to get them. Lifeguards literally train to escape “attacks,” because people who are drowning can freak the fuck out and grab you and make YOU drown as well. If you do go in after someone, take hold of them from the back and talk to them the whole time. IF YOU ARE GRABBED: duck down into the water as low as you can get. The person is panicking and won’t want to go under water and should release you. Shove up at their hands and push them away from you as you duck under. Don’t die trying to save someone else. Please guys, read and memorize this post. Not all places have lifeguards. Being able to recognize drowning is such an important skill to have and you can save someone’s life.
Bodies , Children, and Climbing: Drowning in real life looks nothing like in the
 movies, and in fact many parents actually
 watch their children drown, having no idea
 that it's happening
 Ultrafacts.tumblr.com
faikitty:
mermaibee:

ultrafacts:

According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, having no idea it is happening. Drowning does not look like drowning—Dr. Pia, in an article in the Coast Guard’s On Scene magazine, described the Instinctive Drowning Response like this:
“Except in rare circumstances, drowning people are physiologically unable to call out for help. The respiratory system was designed for breathing. Speech is the secondary or overlaid function. Breathing must be fulfilled before speech occurs.
Drowning people’s mouths alternately sink below and reappear above the surface of the water. The mouths of drowning people are not above the surface of the water long enough for them to exhale, inhale, and call out for help. When the drowning people’s mouths are above the surface, they exhale and inhale quickly as their mouths start to sink below the surface of the water.
Drowning people cannot wave for help. Nature instinctively forces them to extend their arms laterally and press down on the water’s surface. Pressing down on the surface of the water permits drowning people to leverage their bodies so they can lift their mouths out of the water to breathe.
Throughout the Instinctive Drowning Response, drowning people cannot voluntarily control their arm movements. Physiologically, drowning people who are struggling on the surface of the water cannot stop drowning and perform voluntary movements such as waving for help, moving toward a rescuer, or reaching out for a piece of rescue equipment.
From beginning to end of the Instinctive Drowning Response people’s bodies remain upright in the water, with no evidence of a supporting kick. Unless rescued by a trained lifeguard, these drowning people can only struggle on the surface of the water from 20 to 60 seconds before submersion occurs.”
This doesn’t mean that a person that is yelling for help and thrashing isn’t in real trouble—they are experiencing aquatic distress. Not always present before the Instinctive Drowning Response, aquatic distress doesn’t last long—but unlike true drowning, these victims can still assist in their own rescue. They can grab lifelines, throw rings, etc.
Look for these other signs of drowning when persons are in the water:
Head low in the water, mouth at water level
Head tilted back with mouth open
Eyes glassy and empty, unable to focus
Eyes closed
Hair over forehead or eyes
Not using legs—vertical
Hyperventilating or gasping
Trying to swim in a particular direction but not making headway
Trying to roll over on the back
Appear to be climbing an invisible ladder
So if a crew member falls overboard and everything looks OK—don’t be too sure. Sometimes the most common indication that someone is drowning is that they don’t look like they’re drowning. They may just look like they are treading water and looking up at the deck. One way to be sure? Ask them, “Are you all right?” If they can answer at all—they probably are. If they return a blank stare, you may have less than 30 seconds to get to them. And parents—children playing in the water make noise. When they get quiet, you get to them and find out why.
Source/article: [x] 
Follow Ultrafacts for more facts!


BOOST FOR THE SUMMER. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

Can I just say thank you to OP for putting such a detailed description on this?
I’ve been a lifeguard for 6 years now and of all the saves I’ve done, maybe two or three had people drowning in the stereotypical thrashing style. And even those, like the save I made last weekend, it was exactly like OP describes where the person’s head is going in and out of the water but it isn’t long enough to get any air. Mostly you recognize drowning by the look on someone’s face. If someone looks wide eyed and terrified or confused, chances are they’re drowning. That look of “oh shit” is pretty easily recognizable. And even if you can’t tell for sure: GO AFTER THEM ANYWAY. I’ve done “saves” where a kid was pretending to drown and I mistook it for real drowning, but that’s preferable to a kid ACTUALLY drowning.
Also please remember that even strong swimmers can drown if they have a medical emergency, get cramps, or get too tired. If your friend knows how to swim but they’re acting funny get them to land. And even if someone can respond when you ask them if they need help, if they say they do need help? GO HELP THEM.

However . If the victim is a stranger, I can’t recommend trying to get  them. Lifeguards literally train to escape “attacks,” because people who are drowning can freak the fuck out and grab you and make YOU drown as well. If you do go in after someone, take hold of them from the back and talk to them the whole time. IF YOU ARE GRABBED: duck down into the water as low as you can get. The person is panicking and won’t want to go under water and should release you. Shove up at their hands and push them away from you as you duck under. Don’t die trying to save someone else.
Please guys, read and memorize this post. Not all places have lifeguards. Being able to recognize drowning is such an important skill to have and you can save someone’s life.

faikitty: mermaibee: ultrafacts: According to the CDC, in 10 percent of those drownings, the adult will actually watch the child do it, ha...

Bailey Jay, Family, and Get Money: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.
Bailey Jay, Family, and Get Money: Cancel Your Credit Card Before
 You Die
 A lady died this past January, and the bank billed
 her for February and March for their annual service
 charges on her credit card, and added late fees and
 interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
 been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere
 around $60.00. A family member placed a call to
 the Bank

 Here is the exchange
 Family Member: am calling to tell you she died
 back in January
 Bank The account was never closed and the late
 fees and charges stil apply.
 Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to
 collections.
 Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already
 has been.'
 Family Member So, what will they do when they
 find out she is dead?'
 Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division
 or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
 Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at
 her?'
 Bank: 'Excuse me?'

 Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was
 telling you -
 the part about her being dead?'
 Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 Supervisor gets on the phone:
 Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died
 back in January with a $0 balance.
 Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees
 and charges still apply.'
 Family Member
 from her estate?'
 Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew.
 (Lawyer info was given)
 Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given)
 You mean you want to collect

 After they get the fax
 Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.
 I don't know what more I can do to help.
 Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great!
 If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't
 care.
 Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still
 apply.
 (What is wrong with these people?1?)
 Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing
 address?'
 Bank: That might help...
 Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery
 Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
 Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !
 Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead
 people on your planet?
ohgoditsneph:

niniblack:

eudoxiav:


lawful-evil-novelist:

theludicrousrival:


billiam-spockspeare:
Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay

One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” 
On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. 


She didn’t need to pay.  When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility.
In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will.
Debts and Deceased Relatives
Here’s a link to the detail on that one.


Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money


They really do. 
My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.”
Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. 

DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN.

If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off.

Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.

ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your...

America, Bad, and Be Like: Lou Ohio I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I'm a 46 year old banker and I have been living my whole life the opposite of how I wanted. All my dreams, my passion, gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for everything, which eventually changed who I was. Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING. I didn't complete my novel, travelling the world, helping the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a certainty about myself when i was in my late teens and early twenties. If my younger self had met me today, I would have punched myself in the face. I'll get to how those dreams were crushed soon. Let's start with a description of me when I was 20. It seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The first, was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second, was travelling the world and helping the poor and homeless. I had been dating my wife for four years by then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel loved. I knew my book was going to change the world I would show the perspective of the 'bad' and the twisted', showing my viewers that everybody thinks differently, that people never think what the do is wrong. I was 70 pages through when i was 20.I am still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacking around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to do all of Asia, then Europe, then America To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the Philippines. Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life in a 9-7 job. What was I thinking? How could I live when the job was my life? After coming home, I would eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and sleep at 10pm, to wake up at 6am the following day God, I can't remember the last time I've made love to my wife Yesterday, my wife admitted to cheating on me for the last 10 years. 10 years. That seems like a long time, but i can't comprehend it. It doesn't even hurt. She says it's because I've changed. I'm not the person l was. What have I been doing in the last 10 years? Outside of work, I really can't say anything. Not being a proper husband. Not being ME. Who am 1? What happened to me? I didn't even ask for a divorce, or yell at her, or cry. I felt NOTHING. Now I can feel a tear asl write this. But not because my wife has been cheating on me, but because I am now realising I have been dying inside. What happened to that fun-loving, risk taking, energetic person that was me, hungering to change the world? I remember being asked on a date by the most popular girl in the school, but declining her for my now-wife. God, I was really popular with the girls in high school. In university/college too. But i stayed loyal. I didn't explore. I studied every day Remember all that backpacking and book-writingI told you about? That was all in the first few years of college. I worked part-time and splurged all that I had earned. Now, I save every penny. I don't remember a time I spend anything on anything fun. On anything for myself. What do I even want now? My father passed ten years ago. I remember getting calls from mom, telling me he was getting sicker and sicker. I was getting busier and busier, on the verge of a big promotion. I kept putting my visit off, hoping in my mind he would hold on. He died, and I got my promotion. I haven't seen him in 15 years. When he died, I told myself it didn't matter what I didn't see him. I rationalized that being dead, it wouldn't matter anyway. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Rationalizing everything, making excuses to put things off. Excuses Procrastination. It all leads to one thing, nothing. I rationalized that financial security was the most important thingInow know, that it definitely is not. I regret doing nothing with my energy, when I had it. My passions. My youth. I regret letting my job take over my life. I regret being an awful husband, a money- making machine. I regret not finishing my novel, not travelling the world. Not being emotionally there for my son. Being a damn emotionless wallet. If you're reading this, and you have a whole life ahead of you, please. Don't procrastinate. Don't leave your dreams for later. Relish in your energy, your passions. Don't stay on the internet with all your spare time (unless your passion needs it). Please, do something with your life while you're young. DO NOT settle down at 20. DO NOT forget your friends, your family Yourself. Do NOT waste your life. Your ambitions. Like I did mine. Do not be like me srsfunny: A Sad But Common Story
America, Bad, and Be Like: Lou
 Ohio
 I need to get my life off my chest. About me. I'm a 46
 year old banker and I have been living my whole life
 the opposite of how I wanted. All my dreams, my
 passion, gone. In a steady 9-7 job. 6 days a week. For
 26 years. I repeatedly chose the safe path for
 everything, which eventually changed who I was.
 Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me
 for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I
 realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING. I
 didn't complete my novel, travelling the world, helping
 the homeless. All these things I thought I knew to be a
 certainty about myself when i was in my late teens
 and early twenties. If my younger self had met me
 today, I would have punched myself in the face. I'll get
 to how those dreams were crushed soon.
 Let's start with a description of me when I was 20. It
 seemed only yesterday when I was sure I was going to
 change the world. People loved me, and I loved
 people. I was innovative, creative, spontaneous, risk
 taking and great with people. I had two dreams. The
 first, was writing a utopic/dystopic book. The second,
 was travelling the world and helping the poor and
 homeless. I had been dating my wife for four years by
 then. Young love. She loved my spontaneity, my
 energy, my ability to make people laugh and feel
 loved. I knew my book was going to change the world
 I would show the perspective of the 'bad' and the
 twisted', showing my viewers that everybody thinks
 differently, that people never think what the do is
 wrong. I was 70 pages through when i was 20.I am
 still 70 pages in, at 46. By 20, I had backpacking
 around New Zealand and the Philippines. I planned to
 do all of Asia, then Europe, then America
 To date, I have only been to New Zealand and the
 Philippines.
 Now, we get to where it all went wrong. My biggest
 regrets. I was 20. I was the only child. I needed to be
 stable. I needed to take that graduate job, which
 would dictate my whole life. To devote my entire life
 in a 9-7 job. What was I thinking? How could I live
 when the job was my life? After coming home, I would
 eat dinner, prepare my work for the following day, and
 sleep at 10pm, to wake up at 6am the following day
 God, I can't remember the last time I've made love to
 my wife
 Yesterday, my wife admitted to cheating on me for the
 last 10 years. 10 years. That seems like a long time,
 but i can't comprehend it. It doesn't even hurt. She
 says it's because I've changed. I'm not the person l
 was. What have I been doing in the last 10 years?
 Outside of work, I really can't say anything. Not being a
 proper husband. Not being ME. Who am 1? What
 happened to me? I didn't even ask for a divorce, or yell
 at her, or cry. I felt NOTHING. Now I can feel a tear asl
 write this. But not because my wife has been cheating
 on me, but because I am now realising I have been
 dying inside. What happened to that fun-loving, risk
 taking, energetic person that was me, hungering to
 change the world? I remember being asked on a date
 by the most popular girl in the school, but declining
 her for my now-wife. God, I was really popular with the
 girls in high school. In university/college too. But i
 stayed loyal. I didn't explore. I studied every day
 Remember all that backpacking and book-writingI
 told you about? That was all in the first few years of
 college. I worked part-time and splurged all that I had
 earned. Now, I save every penny. I don't remember a
 time I spend anything on anything fun. On anything for
 myself. What do I even want now?
 My father passed ten years ago. I remember getting
 calls from mom, telling me he was getting sicker and
 sicker. I was getting busier and busier, on the verge of
 a big promotion. I kept putting my visit off, hoping in
 my mind he would hold on. He died, and I got my
 promotion. I haven't seen him in 15 years. When he
 died, I told myself it didn't matter what I didn't see
 him. I rationalized that being dead, it wouldn't matter
 anyway. WHAT WAS I THINKING? Rationalizing
 everything, making excuses to put things off. Excuses
 Procrastination. It all leads to one thing, nothing. I
 rationalized that financial security was the most
 important thingInow know, that it definitely is not. I
 regret doing nothing with my energy, when I had it. My
 passions. My youth. I regret letting my job take over
 my life. I regret being an awful husband, a money-
 making machine. I regret not finishing my novel, not
 travelling the world. Not being emotionally there for
 my son. Being a damn emotionless wallet.
 If you're reading this, and you have a whole life ahead
 of you, please. Don't procrastinate. Don't leave your
 dreams for later. Relish in your energy, your passions.
 Don't stay on the internet with all your spare time
 (unless your passion needs it). Please, do something
 with your life while you're young. DO NOT settle down
 at 20. DO NOT forget your friends, your family
 Yourself. Do NOT waste your life. Your ambitions. Like
 I did mine. Do not be like me
srsfunny:

A Sad But Common Story

srsfunny: A Sad But Common Story

Doctor, Lmao, and Target: venezianos: blanka-s submitted: i dreW MORE IM SCCREAMING
Doctor, Lmao, and Target: venezianos:


blanka-s submitted: i dreW MORE

IM SCCREAMING

venezianos: blanka-s submitted: i dreW MORE IM SCCREAMING

America, England, and Family: transparentalia: transparent sweden requested by ask-transgender-dmab-canada!
nsfw
America, England, and Family: transparentalia:

transparent sweden requested by ask-transgender-dmab-canada!

transparentalia: transparent sweden requested by ask-transgender-dmab-canada!

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: Spit As Lube, But it's not human spit, ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “Spit As Lube, But it’s not human spit”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: That’s not better
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: Spit As Lube, But it's not human spit,
ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “Spit As Lube, But it’s not human spit”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: That’s not better

ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “Spit As Lube, But it’s not human spit”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: That’s not better

Love, Moms, and Target: , Just Two Moms Falling in Love ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tag reading “Just two moms falling in love”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: My heart is ready
Love, Moms, and Target: , Just Two Moms Falling in Love
ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading “Just two moms falling in love”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: My heart is ready

ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tag reading “Just two moms falling in love”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: My heart is ready

America, Love, and Target: i love America so much, ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tag reading “i love America so much“] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: OP is a Russian bot
America, Love, and Target: i love America so much,
ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tag reading “i love America so much“]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: OP is a Russian bot

ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tag reading “i love America so much“] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: OP is a Russian bot

Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw Fucking Outside her House, ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”] The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor “On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?” 7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.” …I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong???? Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier. Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?
Bad, Fucking, and God: Sexy
 Bible Quotes, Inspired by Some Birds my Friend saw
 Fucking Outside her House,
ao3tagoftheday:

oxymoronicromantic:

ao3tagoftheday:

[Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend saw fucking outside her house”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: This is one hell of a non-sequitor 

“On the day when the Lord spoke to Moses in the land of Egypt, 29 the Lord said to Moses, “I am the Lord; tell Pharaoh king of Egypt all that I say to you.” 30 But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?”
7 And the Lord said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron shall be your prophet. 2 You shall speak all that I command you, and your brother Aaron shall tell Pharaoh to let the people of Israel go out of his land.”
…I don’t think it’s telling anyone that they’re doing activism wrong????
Anyways. Song of Songs is sexier.

Ok! First off, thanks for putting the verses in; that makes my life easier! Second, Song of Songs is undoubtedly sexy, but the phrase “uncircumcised lips” is much sexier. Here’s why:“Uncircumcised lips” is a literal translation of the Hebrew, and scholars have spent millennia trying to figure out what the fuck it means. Because, like, it’s a weird fucking phrase, let’s be real. Actually, let’s all take a moment to imagine what that might physically look like. We deserve it.Anyway, back on topic. Most scholars have ended up interpreting it as saying that Moses has some kind of speech impediment. But that’s really a stretch. I mean, if that’s what was meant, why not say, “a man of broken speech” or something like that? No, I think the meaning of that phrase is a lot simpler.Circumcision is the sign of the Jewish covenant with G-d. In this period of the Bible, after G-d and Abraham made the covenant but before the Law was given at Mt. Sinai, circumcision was the single, defining thing that set the Jewish people apart from everyone else. So what does it mean to have uncircumcised lips? I submit that to speak with uncircumcised lips is to speak with a non-Jewish voice.But Moses is Jewish! Why would his voice not be? Because, Moses is unique among the Jewish people. He wasn’t raised as a slave. That’s what the Jewish people are in this period and have been for hundreds of years. They’re slaves. For generations, that slavery has defined and warped their culture. Moses has never been a slave and has never lived among his people who are. He may be Jewish, but his understanding of his people, and therefore his ability to speak for them, is non-existent.So G-d tells Moses to speak to Pharoah on behalf of the Jewish people and Moses says no. How will he speak for his people, advocate for them, demand their freedom, when he can’t speak with their voice? He can’t do it and he tells G-d no. No, I won’t speak for the slaves when I am free. It’s not my place.So what does G-d say? He says Moses is right. He tells Moses to give G-d’s message to Aaron, a man who has been a slave all his life, and let Aaron go to Pharoah and speak for the Jewish people. Because Aaron is of them, understands them, their pain, their oppression, in a way that Moses, a free man, can’t and never will. Aaron speaks with a truly Jewish voice, with circumcised lips, so he must be the one who speaks for the Jewish people.So basically, G-d tells Moses to speak over an oppressed group he isn’t a part of, Moses says “no that’s bad activism”, and G-d says “you’re right oppressed people should speak and direct their own fight against oppression.”In conclusion, sure, the Song of Songs is sexy, but have you ever tried telling G-d that he needs to work harder to prioritize marginalized voices?

ao3tagoftheday: oxymoronicromantic: ao3tagoftheday: [Image Description: Tags reading “sexy bible quotes, inspired by some birds my friend...