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Smbc Comic

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Mr Crocker
Mr Crocker

Mr Crocker

out
out

out

need-to-know
need-to-know

need-to-know

looking out
 looking out

looking out

fine line
 fine line

fine line

blind
 blind

blind

shalt
 shalt

shalt

else
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πŸ”₯ | Latest

Delusion: geekandmisandry My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me "don't worry, it's getting better" in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man. "Why are you American?" l asked, to which Igot: "Sorry, it's getting better" in a stereotypical posh English accent. "Why are you English?" I asked, amused. "What is he normally?" He managed to ask. "He? You're not anyone else, you're you." "Ugh, me" was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep. neverblogidly Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents AldenRants 26-50 @burnt_ramen_noodle asked me to RANT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DELIBERATELY BURN THEIR MARSHMALLOWS ON SMORES! So, you guys mayyy have noticed I just recently did a rant about marshmallows and you mayyy ask yourselves "Why would Alden do two rants so closely related?" But I can assure you that this topic is an entirely different epidemic on its own. NEVER IN YOUR LIFE WILL YOU HEAR SOMEONE SAY "I like them better burnt teehee" WITHOUT THEM REFERRING TO MARSHMALLOWS. BECAUSE THANK THE LORD, WE'VE ALL AGREED AS A UNIFIED SPECIE TO FORBID BURNT FOODS AS CONSIDERABLY EDIBLE. EXCEPT THESE SPECIAL LITTLE ASHFLAKES WHO ARE UNDER THE DELUSION THAT TURNING THEIR FLUFFY SUGARY TREATS INTO HARDENED CLUMPS OF SATAN TOES IS EVEN ETHICAL LET ALONE FINE TO EAT!!! Why do you charcoal munchers do it? Are you just that impatient that you can't spend the extra 30 seconds of toasting your mallow to treat yourself to a warm, crispy, perfectly golden mallow; so you end up resorting to a deformed smoky lump of mallow that could be used to kill Goliath because you think, "I just don't deserve any better..."??? WELL GROW UP. LEARN TO BE PATIENT. AND BY GOLLY, LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOUR BURNT MARSHMALLOWS ArE hArShiNg mY MeLLow!!1!1!
Delusion: geekandmisandry
 My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me "don't worry, it's
 getting better" in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian
 man.
 "Why are you American?" l asked, to which Igot:
 "Sorry, it's getting better" in a stereotypical posh English accent.
 "Why are you English?" I asked, amused.
 "What is he normally?" He managed to ask.
 "He? You're not anyone else, you're you."
 "Ugh, me" was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he
 fell back into proper sleep.
 neverblogidly
 Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents
AldenRants 26-50 @burnt_ramen_noodle asked me to RANT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DELIBERATELY BURN THEIR MARSHMALLOWS ON SMORES! So, you guys mayyy have noticed I just recently did a rant about marshmallows and you mayyy ask yourselves "Why would Alden do two rants so closely related?" But I can assure you that this topic is an entirely different epidemic on its own. NEVER IN YOUR LIFE WILL YOU HEAR SOMEONE SAY "I like them better burnt teehee" WITHOUT THEM REFERRING TO MARSHMALLOWS. BECAUSE THANK THE LORD, WE'VE ALL AGREED AS A UNIFIED SPECIE TO FORBID BURNT FOODS AS CONSIDERABLY EDIBLE. EXCEPT THESE SPECIAL LITTLE ASHFLAKES WHO ARE UNDER THE DELUSION THAT TURNING THEIR FLUFFY SUGARY TREATS INTO HARDENED CLUMPS OF SATAN TOES IS EVEN ETHICAL LET ALONE FINE TO EAT!!! Why do you charcoal munchers do it? Are you just that impatient that you can't spend the extra 30 seconds of toasting your mallow to treat yourself to a warm, crispy, perfectly golden mallow; so you end up resorting to a deformed smoky lump of mallow that could be used to kill Goliath because you think, "I just don't deserve any better..."??? WELL GROW UP. LEARN TO BE PATIENT. AND BY GOLLY, LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOUR BURNT MARSHMALLOWS ArE hArShiNg mY MeLLow!!1!1!

AldenRants 26-50 @burnt_ramen_noodle asked me to RANT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO DELIBERATELY BURN THEIR MARSHMALLOWS ON SMORES! So, you guys mayyy...

Delusion: Is there anything sweeter than watching karma slap the soul out of someone who deserves it? Enter Ashley. This girl allowed her boyfriend to spend thousands of dollars on her, taking her to Hawaii, buying her Coachella tickets and paying for hotel rooms all while she was sleeping around on him -with two separate people. Once the aforementioned boyfriend became aware of what was happening, he promptly delivered some cold, tasty justice by logging into her Facebook and setting the record straight for all to see oo Verizon 7:43 PM Ashleyat Indio Jail. 3hrs Indio, CA Time to set the record straight. Before I let Jason ake me on a $10,000 vacation, looked him in the eyes and told him I wanted to marry him and have his children, I should have told him about the TWO men I was sleeping with less than three weeks prior to trip. Instead, I let him take me on the vacation of a lifetime with him in the dark. After returning from Hawaii, I was manipulative enough to convince Jason to buy me a $2,000 Coachella ticket, and pay for our hotel in Indio for the weekend But money is money. Let me retrace, back to the men I was sleeping with. The first, Zackis in a committed long term relationship, ENGAGED, soon to be married. I slept with him behind Jasons back. I spent New Years with him while his fiancΓ© was by herself. I bragged to my friends that I was fucking him all through the night. The other man is David A.I flew to Chicago the day after Jason's birthday, telling him it wasa work trip. In reality I was there to have sex with David and live in my own delusion. I guess karma's a bitch. Because I am currently sitting in jail for assaulting Jason, assaulting a police officer, and resisting arrest. Indian Wells Indio 0 News Feed Requests MessengerNotifications More Boyfriend logs into cheating ex’s Facebook and drops the f*$ing hammer
Delusion: Is there anything sweeter than watching karma slap the soul out of
 someone who deserves it? Enter Ashley. This girl allowed her
 boyfriend to spend thousands of dollars on her, taking her to Hawaii,
 buying her Coachella tickets and paying for hotel rooms all while she
 was sleeping around on him -with two separate people.
 Once the aforementioned boyfriend became aware of what was
 happening, he promptly delivered some cold, tasty justice by
 logging into her Facebook and setting the record straight for all to
 see
 oo Verizon
 7:43 PM
 Ashleyat Indio Jail.
 3hrs Indio, CA
 Time to set the record straight. Before I let Jason
 ake me on a $10,000 vacation, looked him in
 the eyes and told him I wanted to marry him and have
 his children, I should have told him about the TWO
 men I was sleeping with less than three weeks prior to
 trip. Instead, I let him take me on the vacation of a
 lifetime with him in the dark. After returning from
 Hawaii, I was manipulative enough to convince Jason
 to buy me a $2,000 Coachella ticket, and pay for our
 hotel in Indio for the weekend
 But money is money. Let me retrace, back to the men I
 was sleeping with.
 The first, Zackis in a committed long term
 relationship, ENGAGED, soon to be married. I slept
 with him behind Jasons back. I spent New Years with
 him while his fiancΓ© was by herself. I bragged to my
 friends that I was fucking him all through the night.
 The other man is David A.I flew to Chicago
 the day after Jason's birthday, telling him it wasa
 work trip. In reality I was there to have sex with David
 and live in my own delusion.
 I guess karma's a bitch. Because I am currently sitting
 in jail for assaulting Jason, assaulting a police officer,
 and resisting arrest.
 Indian Wells
 Indio
 0
 News Feed
 Requests MessengerNotifications
 More
Boyfriend logs into cheating ex’s Facebook and drops the f*$ing hammer

Boyfriend logs into cheating ex’s Facebook and drops the f*$ing hammer

Delusion: UM S sony praystation dont ever drink from me or my son again AldenRants 14-50 @0_ashleyy_0 @Agnes.hx @Joannaxxsmith and @ew.niamh asked me to rant about the terrible contestants on American Idol! *In the key of "Don't You Want Me, Baby"* 🎡DooOOn'T yoUUu get me STARRRteeeed!🎢 Does it look like I typed that to the correct key of the actual song? TRICK QUESTION IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO! BECAUSE NO ONE CARES IF IT'S DONE RIGHT. People only care if it's done TERRIBLY. The only concept that gave substance to that show was all of the people WITH THE MISLED DELUSION THAT uttering whinnies and grunts after every high note and dancing with their hands fitfully punching the air and swinging at all angles like Jackie Chan on whatever drugs people who still watch the show must be on IS THE PINNACLE OF SINGING TALENT. But the show KNOWS they'd be NOTHING without those VOCALLY CHALLENGED SPANDEX MODELS. THEY NEED THEM! So my question is, does that mean the good singers are actually bad and bad singers are actually good?? OF course, that would mean that being bad would be good which makes it bad in the not good kind of bad good way and being good is only good if you aren't bad at being good, otherwise being bad is your only good option BUT YEAH ANYWAYS THANKS AMERICAN IDOL FOR INITIATING A TWISTED PARADOXICAL SENSE OF MORALITY ON YOUR SHOW
Delusion: UM
 S sony praystation
 dont ever drink from me or my son again
AldenRants 14-50 @0_ashleyy_0 @Agnes.hx @Joannaxxsmith and @ew.niamh asked me to rant about the terrible contestants on American Idol! *In the key of "Don't You Want Me, Baby"* 🎡DooOOn'T yoUUu get me STARRRteeeed!🎢 Does it look like I typed that to the correct key of the actual song? TRICK QUESTION IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO! BECAUSE NO ONE CARES IF IT'S DONE RIGHT. People only care if it's done TERRIBLY. The only concept that gave substance to that show was all of the people WITH THE MISLED DELUSION THAT uttering whinnies and grunts after every high note and dancing with their hands fitfully punching the air and swinging at all angles like Jackie Chan on whatever drugs people who still watch the show must be on IS THE PINNACLE OF SINGING TALENT. But the show KNOWS they'd be NOTHING without those VOCALLY CHALLENGED SPANDEX MODELS. THEY NEED THEM! So my question is, does that mean the good singers are actually bad and bad singers are actually good?? OF course, that would mean that being bad would be good which makes it bad in the not good kind of bad good way and being good is only good if you aren't bad at being good, otherwise being bad is your only good option BUT YEAH ANYWAYS THANKS AMERICAN IDOL FOR INITIATING A TWISTED PARADOXICAL SENSE OF MORALITY ON YOUR SHOW

AldenRants 14-50 @0_ashleyy_0 @Agnes.hx @Joannaxxsmith and @ew.niamh asked me to rant about the terrible contestants on American Idol! *I...

Delusion: WHAT IFITOLD YOU TH FREETHOUG HT PROJECT THEYREFILLING YOUR MIND WITH CELEBRITY GOSSIP USELESS SPORTSSTATS AND FAKENEWSPROPAGANDA TODISTRACT YOU FROM THE POLITICAL AND CORPORATE CORRUPTION THAT ISIMPACTING YOURLIFEEVERYDAY The symptoms of our psychospiritual illness are the wars, TerroristAttacks, artificial and man-made disasters and leader figures. As long as the people remain oblivious to their enterprise and intent, they will always fail to recognize why horrific events take place and why figures rise to such powerful positions. The reason why we have failed for thousands of years to conquer archetypal rule permanently is because for thousands of years we have been fighting the symptoms of an illness and not the root cause. For every corrupt government that falls at the hands of a revolutionary oppressed people two more rise in this place every time, because the root cause of a CorruptGovernment does not exist in the individual leading that government, it exists within the psyche of every individual. Because the human mind is host to a deadly parasite called FEAR, that will do anything to avoid accepting his own and capacity for freedom. You have been mentally enslaved on this planet and the owners of this solar system don't want you to know that you have the power to over throw them. With combined unity the many can dislodge the few. The mental illness laced in the consciousness of mankind is strong in its delusion. That's why those who are awake must raise the vibration in countless others so that they may be cured of their illness and wake up from TheMatrix. 4biddenknowledge @PantheonEliteRecords Music is ExitTheMatrix by @DonnyArcade Coming Soon! Video graphix by @thefreethoughtproject
Delusion: WHAT IFITOLD YOU
 TH FREETHOUG
 HT PROJECT
 THEYREFILLING YOUR MIND WITH CELEBRITY GOSSIP
 USELESS SPORTSSTATS AND FAKENEWSPROPAGANDA
 TODISTRACT YOU FROM THE POLITICAL AND CORPORATE
 CORRUPTION THAT ISIMPACTING YOURLIFEEVERYDAY
The symptoms of our psychospiritual illness are the wars, TerroristAttacks, artificial and man-made disasters and leader figures. As long as the people remain oblivious to their enterprise and intent, they will always fail to recognize why horrific events take place and why figures rise to such powerful positions. The reason why we have failed for thousands of years to conquer archetypal rule permanently is because for thousands of years we have been fighting the symptoms of an illness and not the root cause. For every corrupt government that falls at the hands of a revolutionary oppressed people two more rise in this place every time, because the root cause of a CorruptGovernment does not exist in the individual leading that government, it exists within the psyche of every individual. Because the human mind is host to a deadly parasite called FEAR, that will do anything to avoid accepting his own and capacity for freedom. You have been mentally enslaved on this planet and the owners of this solar system don't want you to know that you have the power to over throw them. With combined unity the many can dislodge the few. The mental illness laced in the consciousness of mankind is strong in its delusion. That's why those who are awake must raise the vibration in countless others so that they may be cured of their illness and wake up from TheMatrix. 4biddenknowledge @PantheonEliteRecords Music is ExitTheMatrix by @DonnyArcade Coming Soon! Video graphix by @thefreethoughtproject

The symptoms of our psychospiritual illness are the wars, TerroristAttacks, artificial and man-made disasters and leader figures. As long...