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Promised

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When I

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Take

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I Have

I Have

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Your

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You Should

You Should

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🔥 | Latest

Best Friend, Definitely, and Future: Chloe, 19 154 kilometre s away pineapple definitely doesn't belong on pizza Chloe YOU MATCHED WITH CHLOE ON 2/7/18. I'm not sure I'm okay with your hardcore political opinions, Chloe. While your passion is definitely very attractive, I don't see a future here I think we should stay together until the kids move out then I think it's done. I just don't think I'll ever love you as much as I love pineapple. Maybe when the kids move out we can try rekindle our love with a cruise overseas? Oh sure, let's have a repeat of the Hawaii Incident shall we? Be serious it's not my fault I don't like Hawaiian pizza!! It's not that you're not right, it's just that we're not right for each other. I know we were young. I was struck by your wit and unreasonably good looks, you were taken by my humour and smooth mocha complexion. Now there are 25 years, three kids and a mortgage between us and we're only just realising that we should have gone out for churros instead of pizza. 25 years, 3 months and 9 days to be exact, don't you want to be there for our grandchildren? I know an awesome couples counselling we can go to, too get our old spark back. You're counting? Please... you're no prisoner here. You were free to leave the moment you hired that "gardener" in '03. If you want to know where our spark went, it left in the back of a Mazda BT-50 ute driven by a man who always smelled like compost and that perfume I bought you. Yesterday 23:47 Now I know why it says youra comedian in your bio can't wait to read my best friend this convo she's gonna lose it Absolute Deal-breaker.
Best Friend, Definitely, and Future: Chloe, 19
 154 kilometre
 s away
 pineapple definitely doesn't belong on pizza
 Chloe
 YOU MATCHED WITH CHLOE ON 2/7/18.
 I'm not sure I'm okay with your
 hardcore political opinions, Chloe.
 While your passion is definitely
 very attractive, I don't see a future
 here
 I think we should stay together
 until the kids move out then I think
 it's done. I just don't think I'll ever
 love you as much as I love
 pineapple.
 Maybe when the kids move out
 we can try rekindle our love with a
 cruise overseas?
 Oh sure, let's have a repeat of the
 Hawaii Incident shall we? Be
 serious
 it's not my fault I don't like
 Hawaiian pizza!!
 It's not that you're not right, it's
 just that we're not right for each
 other.
 I know we were young. I was
 struck by your wit and
 unreasonably good looks, you
 were taken by my humour and
 smooth mocha complexion. Now
 there are 25 years, three kids and
 a mortgage between us and we're
 only just realising that we should
 have gone out for churros instead
 of pizza.
 25 years, 3 months and 9 days to
 be exact, don't you want to be
 there for our grandchildren?
 I know an awesome couples
 counselling we can go to, too get
 our old spark back.
 You're counting? Please... you're
 no prisoner here. You were free to
 leave the moment you hired that
 "gardener" in '03. If you want to
 know where our spark went, it left
 in the back of a Mazda BT-50 ute
 driven by a man who always
 smelled like compost and that
 perfume I bought you.
 Yesterday 23:47
 Now I know why it says youra
 comedian in your bio
 can't wait to read my best friend
 this convo she's gonna lose it
Absolute Deal-breaker.

Absolute Deal-breaker.

9/11, Apparently, and Arguing: 0 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE mcrscans.tumblr.com G- prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During erard Way had been having premonitions that he was going to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed kept on seeing it happen in dreams and each time he would young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him. Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye: But the finger was right back into my socket around the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made LEAP OF FAITH: THE MCRMY PILE IN ANK GENUFLECTS AT HE ALTAR OF SCREAM 38 METLHAMNERCOUK THE BROTHERS WAY: DIVVENT MESS garage RISTOR music "DOESTHE NUMBER 30 GO FROM HERE MATE?" a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans. band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?" to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them." "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts broken his wrist. We've all been hurt." It was the gig the night before when we first met up with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says "We've all been hurt GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB mcrscans.tumblr.com METALHAMMERCOUK 39 VEHICLES AND CONTENTS ARE LEFT ENTIRELY AT OWNERS RISK MCR'S WARM-UP YOGA one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My! Chemical! Romance! for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis. And you can see why they're starting to attract this of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy, of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos. Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music. but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag. and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance." The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon, and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows. Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey, talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops! where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern looks like Newark, where we come from!" a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask. to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly. 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances. smells godawful." "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard "I could feel her finger in my eye... I thought my eyeball had burst" NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY mcrscans.tumblr.com 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK "Id had a really bad year before the band and that helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven- at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica. and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers. that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!" I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't. rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit, tickets than meal tickets." we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar, The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them. to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination. they always look so depressed, like they've walked into the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be having a better time if you were out at the bar." Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5 GERARD WOULD NEVER LET ANYONE INTO HIS SACRED CRYPT hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour." But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla If 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?" mcrscans.tumblr.com METALHAMM ERCOUK 41 mcrscans: My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.
9/11, Apparently, and Arguing: 0
 IN MID-2004, WITH THE GLOBAL DOMINATION THAT WAS TO COME
 JUST A MURMUR ON THE HORIZON, WE FOLLOWED MCR AROUND
 THE UK FOR ONE OF THEIR VERY FIRST METAL HAMMER FEATURES
 WORDS: JOHN DORAN PHOTOS: JOHN McMURTRIE
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 G-
 prepared for the accident that was to happen tonight at
 premier sauna-cum-venue, The Garage. During
 erard Way had been having
 premonitions that he was going
 to be blinded for months. The lead an eviscerating performance, Gerard throws himself
 singer of My Chemical Romancetoward the crowd just as one particularly lust-crazed
 kept on seeing it happen in
 dreams and each time he would
 young woman thrusts her arms up to touch him.
 Gerard, now wearing onyx-black shades, takes up the
 story: "I head-banged into her finger and it went right in
 my eye. It was the weirdest feeling. It was painful but the
 worst thing was how weird it was. I could feel her finger
 in my eye and all this really warm fluid running down
 my face. I thought my eyeball had burst and I just kept
 on thinking about the dreams I'd been having about
 wake up in a cold sweat, shaking. So he was almost
 going blind. I was like, 'Dude, I've lost this left eye:
 But the finger was right back into my socket around
 the eyeball where all the tendons and shit are. It made
 LEAP OF FAITH: THE
 MCRMY PILE IN
 ANK GENUFLECTS AT
 HE ALTAR OF SCREAM
 38 METLHAMNERCOUK

 THE BROTHERS
 WAY: DIVVENT MESS
 garage RISTOR
 music
 "DOESTHE NUMBER 30
 GO FROM HERE MATE?"
 a really weird slurping noise when she took it out.the outfit) from Newark, NJ, who, despite only having
 Metal Hammer has very strict rules about what girls acouple of single releases in this country, are starting
 can and cannot stick into its various orifices and this
 should definitely be a no-no. Gerard and the rest of themuch for their own safety, then they do about their fans.
 band are sitting around sharing coffee, beers and soft They walk out on stage to hand out bottles of water to
 drinks, waiting for their Manchester Hop And Grape show the people at the front and regularly douse the ones who
 soundcheck this evening and telling us all about how they look like they need it. They also try to protect their fans
 are beginning to take off in this country-while swapping from the carnage on stage if they get up there. It's Metal
 gig injury stories. Gerard reckons it would have been cool Hammers view that moshing is a good thing because it
 in a way to have lost his eye, saying: "Can you imagine gives people the chance to have catharsis and get the
 how cool it would be to wear an eyepatch on stage?"
 to cause a huge stir over here. And if they don't care
 violence out that is in us all without hurting anyone else
 You'd be the screamo Bluebeard!", adds taciturr
 drummer Matt Pelissier. All of the band have horror stories in this country under the age of 40 was made to go to one
 to tell when it comes to playing live and, watching thepunk or screamo gig a week then football violence would
 powerhouse performance that they put on, you can't help probably die out overnight. But Gerard still thinks there's
 but feel they should take out a hell of a lot more personal anegative element to it sometimes, saying: "Some of it
 injury insurance. "Frank [Iero] hit me in the face with the is macho bullshit. Some of the nu metal acts were just
 head of his guitar one night and it was bleeding so much encouraging violence for violence's sake. It gives punk
 that my entire face was covered in blood," says Ray Toro, rck a bad name and it makes it harder for the kids. Their
 the Afro-haired guitarist. "It was like a mask of blood." parents aren't going to let them go and watch bands if
 (usually). In fact, we'd go so far as to say that if everyone
 "We're a really physical band on stage," adds Gerard.they go and get the shit kicked out of them."
 "I slipped a couple of discs in my back on tour. Frank hasThe Garage is heaving hours before the gig even starts
 broken his wrist. We've all been hurt."
 It was the gig the night before when we first met up
 with the five-piece (Gerard's brother Mikey plays bass in
 and people keep on coming up to Gerard in the pub
 beforehand. He's nearly mobbed at one point by two
 girls coming out of McDonald's. "Oh! My! God!" says
 "We've all been hurt
 GERARD ON SOME OF THE NOT-SO-MUCH-PERKS OF THE JOB
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMMERCOUK 39

 VEHICLES AND
 CONTENTS
 ARE LEFT
 ENTIRELY AT
 OWNERS RISK
 MCR'S
 WARM-UP YOGA
 one with hermouth full of Curly Wurly McFlurry "My!
 Chemical! Romance!
 for a quick pint. Now Gerard's got over the fear of nearly
 becoming a rocknrolcyclops, he can explain the genesis.
 And you can see why they're starting to attract this
 of their strange name. "The name is taken from an Irvine
 kind of attention when the gig kicks off. Within seconds Welsh book. Me and Mikey were looking at a copy of Ecstasy,
 of the first song, Gerard is in the crowd, screaming and
 thrashing like a younger, better-looking Casey Chaos.
 Their music is reminiscent of other emo/post-hardcoreChemical Romance mean so much on so many different
 bands such as Funeral For A Friend and Hundred Reasons, levels. It seemed to be the only way to describe the music.
 but they have a scruffier, punkier edge, which comes fromAnd in another way, Trainspotting is generally set in this
 the fact that they're all massive fans of Black Flag.
 and on the inside it said, Three tales of chemical romance."
 The de facto leader of the group adds: "Well, the words
 area with people getting caught up in a scene and a vibe
 The band, it has to be said, as nice as they are, don't
 appear to be very rock'n'roll. Hammer groans inwardly
 when it gets on the tour bus, as the two DVDs that are
 out on show are Dungeons & Dragons, the cartoon,
 and a stop-motion animation of Wind In The Willows.
 Nearly all the band go straight to bed, leaving Hammer Matt, who looks like he would sooner be pulling his own
 up with just Matt and the drummers from Hondo Macleanteeth out with pliers than being interviewed, perks up
 and The Bled, drinking Stella, listening to Refused and slightly and says, "Newark is in the State of New Jersey,
 talking about hi-hats. C-c-c-call the cops!
 where there's a lot of drugs about and that resonated
 with us because of all the stuff we had to fight through to
 become a band. The strange thing is that when you watch
 the movie with the drug addiction and murder, it evern
 looks like Newark, where we come from!"
 a few hours outside of New York. It's a complete goddamn
 The next day, when Hammer has unstuck its tonguewasteland. It's been shut down for about 20 years. It
 from the floor and tried to rub its aching pancreas
 better, we look for the band, but apparently they all got up What does it smell of?" we ask.
 to go sightseeing around Manchester at 5.30 this morning. "Dead bodies", he replies nonchalantly.
 5.30am? That was only half an hour after Hammer went
 to bed! Later, after a lot of fannying about with gaffa tape says, "and during that period I was using substances
 and hairspray, the band finally say theyre ready to go out to overcome other substances.
 smells godawful."
 "Also, at the time I was drinking severely," Gerard
 "I could feel her finger in my eye...
 I thought my eyeball had burst"
 NO, ITS NOT A WEIRD GROUPIE STORY
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 40 METRIHAMMERCOUK

 "Id had a really bad year before the band and that
 helped me get out of it. My art career had gone down the like he could have stepped straight out of Flock Of
 shitter, 9/11 had just happened. I was quite close to that Seagulls, Gerard is a goth-rock marauder with raven-
 at the time and it affected me in a very bad way. I became black hair, torn black clothing and aviator shades, and
 like a hermit and just started drinking all the time and Matt, with his backwards cap and goatee beard, looks
 I didn't want to do anything with my life. And drinking like he's ready to walk on stage filling in for Metallica.
 and not doing anything else is the worst thing you can Frank is the most 'modern-looking guy in the band
 do in terms of depression. I had to go and see a therapist with his punctured face, gun and heart tattoos, and
 for the first time ever and she put me on antidepressants. asymmetrical haircut. Suddenly all their disparate looks
 But it wasn'tthe counselling or the drugs, it was the band gel and they look like a band should: a band of brothers.
 that got me out of my depression. I had a purpose again." "In this life you gotta do what you gotta do!" yells
 with his MC5/Mars Volta 'fro, the rake-thin Mikey looks
 All of the band have had similar experiences. "I think Gerard before pausing and adding, "And if that means
 you'll find none of us was the cool kid at school," offers doing a line of coke and getting a blow job, then that's
 Frank. "I felt like I never fitted in when I was younger and what you gotta do!"
 I think depression is a normal thing that happens in thatHammer ain't gonna argue, and by the end of the show
 situation. So a lot of those emotions go into our songs. there have been more members of the audience running
 We keep it in check now. Sometimes I go a little bit off the across the stage and diving off than those who haven't.
 rails but we keep each other in check. There's always beer After dragging Frank off for a quick curry in nearby
 around when you're on tour. You're more likely to get beer Rusholme, just to prove that all English food isn't shit,
 tickets than meal tickets."
 we rejoin the others in Manchester's premier rock bar,
 The reason that bands drink so much on tour is because Big Hands, where a dizzying array of beers are drunk
 of all of the downtime there is to kil. Matt, who doesnt by the band, and by the swelling ranks of girls who want
 drink that often, says: You'll get kids who are desperate to drink with them.
 to come backstage and when they run into the dressingWe leave them at about 3am, cavorting on the streets of
 room there will be, like, one guy asleep, two having a chat, Manchester, singing note-perfect impressions of English
 one watching the TV and another smoking a cigarettebands while dreaming about world domination.
 they always look so depressed, like they've walked into
 the wrong room. Why? You feel like saying, Look, you'd be
 having a better time if you were out at the bar."
 Frank agrees: The hour you're on stage and meeting
 the kids afterwards is what it's all about. It is the 22.5
 GERARD WOULD
 NEVER LET
 ANYONE INTO
 HIS SACRED
 CRYPT
 hours of the day which is boring when you're on tour."
 But if last night's gig was incendiary, tonight's is
 certifiably cooler. Ray looks like a 1960s urban guerrilla
 If
 'DUDE, WHERE'S MY EYE?"
 mcrscans.tumblr.com
 METALHAMM
 ERCOUK 41
mcrscans:

My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.

mcrscans: My Chemical Romance (UK tour special, 2004) article for Metal Hammer Special, 2013 by John Doran, photography by John McMurtrie.

College, Fucking, and Hungry: trajans nefertitie nefertitie did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot) heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to get her back but they were actually temible and i forget how she was actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade class this wasn't little either, we used the town hall and we wore togas and shit me as demeter some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds): athena: "im the goddess of wisdom but you don't notice me telling everyone. i'm too smart for that aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again? athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help aphrodite: he'll never agree, he's such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im so angry) demeter hades wont pick up he's too busy torturing the dead in tartarus hades i can't undo the laws of death just think of the paperwork aphrodite the humidity is messing up my hair. it's getting all frizzy athena: is that all you care about? aphrodite: no, it's also messing up my dress demeter it's so dark, and there aren't any trees or flowers hades what do we need trees for, everybody's dead paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn't that right, achilles? (hades enters) paris: who are you? do we know you? achilles: im mighty achilles odysseus: im wily odysseus paris: and im hungry paris kronos: i really am awesome, aren't i aeton one wrong move and you're history odysseus: fooll we already are historyl demeter. where are those mortals? i left them right there athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you've lost someone l suddenly have the need for the entire screenplay, and to direct it at my college This play is the stuff of legends
College, Fucking, and Hungry: trajans
 nefertitie
 nefertitie
 did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were
 studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot)
 heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos
 and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to
 get her back but they were actually temible and i forget how she was
 actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade
 class
 this wasn't little either, we used the town hall and we wore togas and shit
 me as demeter
 some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds):
 athena: "im the goddess of wisdom but you don't notice me telling everyone. i'm
 too smart for that
 aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again?
 athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling
 athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help
 aphrodite: he'll never agree, he's such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im
 so angry)
 demeter hades wont pick up he's too busy torturing the dead in tartarus
 hades i can't undo the laws of death just think of the paperwork
 aphrodite the humidity is messing up my hair. it's getting all frizzy
 athena: is that all you care about?
 aphrodite: no, it's also messing up my dress
 demeter it's so dark, and there aren't any trees or flowers
 hades what do we need trees for, everybody's dead
 paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn't that right, achilles?
 (hades enters)
 paris: who are you? do we know you?
 achilles: im mighty achilles
 odysseus: im wily odysseus
 paris: and im hungry paris
 kronos: i really am awesome, aren't i
 aeton one wrong move and you're history
 odysseus: fooll we already are historyl
 demeter. where are those mortals? i left them right there
 athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you've lost someone
 l suddenly have the need for the entire screenplay, and to direct it at my college
This play is the stuff of legends

This play is the stuff of legends

Bad, Click, and Fucking: There's a thing called "Rubber duck debugging" in which a programmer explains the code to a rubber duck in hopes of finding the bug Ultrafacts.tumblr.com cosrnoS lifeofdavo kierenwalkerpds monobeartheater absorr: ultrafacts Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I'm reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling "WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND! AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE so that's the function of a rubber duck I work at a startup and part of the onboarding package you get when you first start working here now includes a rubber duck. We also have a bigger version of the duck for the extra hard problems. Sometimes one duck doesn't cut it and you need to borrow your neighbors to get more ducks orn the problem. One time we couldn't figure out why something wasn't working right so we assembled the counsel of ducks and by the grace of the Duck Gods were we able to finally come to a solution. These ducks have saved many lives and should be respected for the heroes they are Source: ultrafacts 254,607 notes Rubber duckie
Bad, Click, and Fucking: There's a thing called "Rubber duck
 debugging" in which a programmer
 explains the code to a rubber duck in
 hopes of finding the bug
 Ultrafacts.tumblr.com
 cosrnoS
 lifeofdavo
 kierenwalkerpds
 monobeartheater
 absorr:
 ultrafacts
 Source
 For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts
 Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that
 programmers would talk to ducks. I'm reblogging because I
 think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code
 realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then
 grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling "WHY WAS THE
 FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!
 AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY
 WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM
 MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK
 OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY
 FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE
 so that's the function of a rubber duck
 I work at a startup and part of the onboarding package you get when you
 first start working here now includes a rubber duck. We also have a bigger
 version of the duck for the extra hard problems. Sometimes one duck
 doesn't cut it and you need to borrow your neighbors to get more ducks orn
 the problem. One time we couldn't figure out why something wasn't working
 right so we assembled the counsel of ducks and by the grace of the Duck
 Gods were we able to finally come to a solution. These ducks have saved
 many lives and should be respected for the heroes they are
 Source: ultrafacts
 254,607 notes
Rubber duckie

Rubber duckie

Advice, America, and Children: Shakira 14 mins . The recent ban on Muslims entering the U.S. proposed by Donald Trump and currently being reviewed in courts has ignited cries of resistance from both within the U.S. and abroad. l'd like to take a minute, with your indulgence, to add my voice to the heap. Because this is not just a U.S. issue. This is a human issue that has implications for all of us; American and non-American citizens like myself. Persecution against any group for religious beliefs or race is illegal and unconstitutional in the U.S. Period This isn't just an attack on Muslims or refugees -this is an attack on all humans and in particular, the ones most in need of protection. Right now, worldwide, 28 million children have been uprooted by conflict, driven from their homes by violence and terror. Children know no nations and no borders; those who survive will grow up to follow the lead of those who take them in. Do we show them love and acceptance? Or allow them to fend for themselves, vulnerable to guerrilla groups that will only teach them to perpetuate this cycle of violence? We have to be vigilant about letting bigotry and hatred creep into the mainstream or be rationalized under the guise of "protecting our people." If we accept blanket targeting towards Muslims, we can all be sure that other minority groups won't be far behind, whether it's by closing borders to other supposed "dangerous" groups or trampling their human rights in other ways. Muslims are our people. They are human beings with children, needs and dreams like the rest of us. Not all Muslims are terrorists, and by the way, not all terrorists are Muslims. Latinos are our people. They don't come to "steal jobs" _ they come seeking an opportunity to build a better life for themselves and for their children, which is what the U.S. has always prided itself on representing: opportunities. They are a huge part of the workforce that has contributed to making America the great country it is today African Americans are our people. After enduring centuries of oppression and the countless human atrocities that were committed against them, after fighting for civil rights, it's devastating that racial profiling is still happening and their civil liberties are still being threatened. I could go on naming groups ad infinitum, but the point is, we shouldn't be singling out aroups and differentiating themm by race, class or religion, because according to the Constitution, all of that is irrelevant to their rights as a citizen. Anybody who goes to the U.S. and chooses to raise that flag and uphold those principles is "our people." Thanks to social networks, we all have a platform to use our voice today. For every post l see with hateful language, I see others that lift my spirits and reassure me that we haven't totally lost our way. Lawyers in airports offering free counsel to refugees, New Yorkers banding together on the subway to erase neo-Nazi vandalism, doctors volunteering their time to give free advice to women that need it, and citizen activists marching for equal rights for all. Let's keep tipping the scales in favor of "liberty and justice for all," keep using our voices to lift up others and speak out for those whose voices have been stripped from them. I applaud all of you who have spoken out against the ban keep up the good fight and never back down. shakisabell: Shakira’s article from TIME http://time.com/4665295/shakira-donald-trump-ban/ Shakira is so eloquent. An incomparable, caring star.
Advice, America, and Children: Shakira
 14 mins .
 The recent ban on Muslims entering the U.S. proposed by
 Donald Trump and currently being reviewed in courts has
 ignited cries of resistance from both within the U.S. and
 abroad. l'd like to take a minute, with your indulgence, to
 add my voice to the heap. Because this is not just a U.S.
 issue. This is a human issue that has implications for all of
 us; American and non-American citizens like myself.
 Persecution against any group for religious beliefs or race is
 illegal and unconstitutional in the U.S. Period
 This isn't just an attack on Muslims or refugees -this is an
 attack on all humans and in particular, the ones most in
 need of protection. Right now, worldwide, 28 million children
 have been uprooted by conflict, driven from their homes by
 violence and terror. Children know no nations and no
 borders; those who survive will grow up to follow the lead of
 those who take them in. Do we show them love and
 acceptance? Or allow them to fend for themselves,
 vulnerable to guerrilla groups that will only teach them to
 perpetuate this cycle of violence?
 We have to be vigilant about letting bigotry and hatred
 creep into the mainstream or be rationalized under the guise
 of "protecting our people." If we accept blanket targeting
 towards Muslims, we can all be sure that other minority
 groups won't be far behind, whether it's by closing borders
 to other supposed "dangerous" groups or trampling their
 human rights in other ways.
 Muslims are our people. They are human beings with
 children, needs and dreams like the rest of us. Not all
 Muslims are terrorists, and by the way, not all terrorists are
 Muslims.

 Latinos are our people. They don't come to "steal jobs" _
 they come seeking an opportunity to build a better life for
 themselves and for their children, which is what the U.S. has
 always prided itself on representing: opportunities. They are
 a huge part of the workforce that has contributed to making
 America the great country it is today
 African Americans are our people. After enduring centuries
 of oppression and the countless human atrocities that were
 committed against them, after fighting for civil rights, it's
 devastating that racial profiling is still happening and their
 civil liberties are still being threatened.
 I could go on naming groups ad infinitum, but the point is,
 we shouldn't be singling out aroups and differentiating themm
 by race, class or religion, because according to the
 Constitution, all of that is irrelevant to their rights as a
 citizen. Anybody who goes to the U.S. and chooses to raise
 that flag and uphold those principles is "our people."
 Thanks to social networks, we all have a platform to use our
 voice today. For every post l see with hateful language, I see
 others that lift my spirits and reassure me that we haven't
 totally lost our way. Lawyers in airports offering free counsel
 to refugees, New Yorkers banding together on the subway
 to erase neo-Nazi vandalism, doctors volunteering their
 time to give free advice to women that need it, and citizen
 activists marching for equal rights for all.
 Let's keep tipping the scales in favor of "liberty and justice
 for all," keep using our voices to lift up others and speak out
 for those whose voices have been stripped from them. I
 applaud all of you who have spoken out against the ban
 keep up the good fight and never back down.
shakisabell:

Shakira’s article from TIME http://time.com/4665295/shakira-donald-trump-ban/

Shakira is so eloquent. An incomparable, caring star.

shakisabell: Shakira’s article from TIME http://time.com/4665295/shakira-donald-trump-ban/ Shakira is so eloquent. An incomparable, caring...

Alive, Church, and Confused: "Here is the list of Jews you required. Bishop Chrysostomos, 1943 Accidental Talmudist.com girlactionfigure: Bishop Chrysostomos, the spiritual leader of the Greek island of Zakynthos, stuck his neck out to save all 275 of the island’s Jews during the Nazi occupation of Greece. On September 9, 1943, Germany occupied the Italian territories, including Greece. Immediately, the German commander ordered all Greek Jews to be assembled for deportation to Poland. The mayor of Zakynthos, Lucas Carrer, was ordered to prepare a list of Jews on the island. Mayor Carrer made the list but before handing it over to the Nazis he went to the local church leader, Bishop Chrysostomos, for counsel. The bishop told the mayor to burn the list. He then went to the German commander and begged him not to deport the Jews. They were law-abiding citizens with the same rights as all other Greeks. The officer was unmoved and insisted on receiving the list of all Jews on the island. Bishop Chrysostomos took out a slip of paper, wrote his own name on it, and handed it to the German officer. “Here is the list of Jews you required,” he said. This action confused the Nazi, and gained the bishop and mayor the time they needed. Together, they warned all the Jews of Zakynthos that their lives were in danger. They urged their Jewish brethren to hide in the mountains, and promised that Greek islanders would provide them with food and shelter. The people of Zakynthos, led by their brave bishop and mayor, kept their hidden Jews alive until the island was liberated by the Soviet army in late 1944. In 1978 Bishop Chrysostomos and Mayor Carrer were honored as Righteous Among the Nations by Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. For their great leadership and courage in saving the lives of 275 Jews, we honor Bishop Chrysostomos and Mayor Carrer of Zakynthos, Greece as this week’s Thursday Heroes at Accidental Talmudist.
Alive, Church, and Confused: "Here is the list of
 Jews you required.
 Bishop Chrysostomos, 1943
 Accidental
 Talmudist.com
girlactionfigure:

Bishop Chrysostomos, the spiritual leader of the Greek island of Zakynthos, stuck his neck out to save all 275 of the island’s Jews during the Nazi occupation of Greece.
On September 9, 1943, Germany occupied the Italian territories, including Greece. Immediately, the German commander ordered all Greek Jews to be assembled for deportation to Poland. The mayor of Zakynthos, Lucas Carrer, was ordered to prepare a list of Jews on the island.
Mayor Carrer made the list but before handing it over to the Nazis he went to the local church leader, Bishop Chrysostomos, for counsel. 
The bishop told the mayor to burn the list. He then went to the German commander and begged him not to deport the Jews. They were law-abiding citizens with the same rights as all other Greeks. The officer was unmoved and insisted on receiving the list of all Jews on the island.
Bishop Chrysostomos took out a slip of paper, wrote his own name on it, and handed it to the German officer. “Here is the list of Jews you required,” he said.
This action confused the Nazi, and gained the bishop and mayor the time they needed.
Together, they warned all the Jews of Zakynthos that their lives were in danger. They urged their Jewish brethren to hide in the mountains, and promised that Greek islanders would provide them with food and shelter.
The people of Zakynthos, led by their brave bishop and mayor, kept their hidden Jews alive until the island was liberated by the Soviet army in late 1944.
In 1978 Bishop Chrysostomos and Mayor Carrer were honored as Righteous Among the Nations by Yad Vashem in Jerusalem. 
For their great leadership and courage in saving the lives of 275 Jews, we honor Bishop Chrysostomos and Mayor Carrer of Zakynthos, Greece as this week’s Thursday Heroes at Accidental Talmudist.

girlactionfigure: Bishop Chrysostomos, the spiritual leader of the Greek island of Zakynthos, stuck his neck out to save all 275 of the isl...

Anaconda, Brains, and Curving: The Curve of Forgetung 100% 10 minutes 5 minutes 2- 4 minutes THE CURVE DESCRIBES HOW WE RETAIN OR SET RID OFINFORMA T ION THAT WE TAKE IN IT S BASED ON A ONE-HOUR LECTURE Day 1 Day 2 Day 7 Day 30 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE LECTURE YOU GO IN KNOWING NOTHING, OR 0% (WHERE THE CURVE STARTS AT THE BASELINE) AT THE END OF THE LECTURE YOU KNOW 100% OF WHAT YOU KNOW. HOWEVER WELL YOU KNOW IT (WHERE THE CURVE RISES TO ITS HIGHEST POINT). IF YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WITH THE INFORMATION YOU LEARNED IN THE LECTURE, DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN, READ IT AGAIN, ETC YOU WILL HAVE LOST 50-80% OF WHAT YOU LEARNED OUR BRAINS ARE cONSTANTLY RECORDING INFORMATION ON A TEMPORARY BAS IS. BECAUSE THE INFORMATION ISN'T NECESSARY AND IT DOESN'T COME UP AGAIN, OUR BRAINS DUMP IT ALL OFF, ALONG WITH WHAT WAS LEARNED IN THE LECTURE! Days 7-30 BY DAY 7. WE REMEMBER EVEN LESS. AND BY DAY 30. WE RETAIN ABOUT 2%-3% OF THE ORIGINAL HOUR! THIS NICELY cOINCIDES WITH MIDTERM EXAMS, AND MAY ACCOUNT FOR FEELING AS IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU'RE STUDYING FOR EXAMS YOU MAY NEED TO ACTUALLY RE-LEARN IT FROM SCRATCH You can dhange the shape of the arnve! REPROCESSING THE SAME CHUNK OF INFORMATION SEND A BIG SIGNAL TO YOUR BRAIN TO HOLD ONTO THAT DATA. WHEN THE SAME THING IS REPEATED, YOUR BRAIN SAYS, OH -THERE IT IS AGAIN, I BETTER KEEP THAT But ho? WITHIN 24 HOURS OF GETTING THE INFORMATION SPEND 10 MINUTES REVIEWING AND YOU WILL RAISE THE CURVE ALMOST TO 100% AGAIN. A WEEK LATER (DAY 7), IT ONLY TAKES 5 MINUTES3 TO "REACTIVATE" THE SAME MATERIAL, AND AGAIN RAISE THE CURVE. BY DAY 30, YOUR BRAIN WILL ONLY NEED 2-4 MINUTES TO GIVE YOU THE FEEDBACK YES, I KNON THAT..." LAZYBUNSTUDIES.TUMBLR.COM WWH.UNATERLOO.CA/ COUNSELLING SERVICES/CURVE FORGETTING <p><a href="http://thelazystudyspot.tumblr.com/post/124414401438/the-curve-of-forgetting-originally-called-the" class="tumblr_blog">thelazystudyspot</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><b>The Curve of Forgetting</b> (originally called The Ebbinghuas Curve after the German philosopher Hermann Ebbinghaus who developed it in 1885) demonstrates how quickly we forget new information we don’t work with repeatedly.  It shows just how important it is to revise everyday - even for a few minutes!</p><p><i><small><small>Sources: (<a href="https://uwaterloo.ca/counselling-services/curve-forgetting">x</a>) (<a href="http://ol.scc.spokane.edu/jroth/Courses/English%2094-study%20skills/MASTER%20DOCS%20and%20TESTS/Curve%20of%20Forgetting.htm">x</a>)</small></small></i></p></blockquote>
Anaconda, Brains, and Curving: The Curve of Forgetung
 100%
 10 minutes
 5 minutes
 2- 4 minutes
 THE CURVE DESCRIBES HOW WE RETAIN
 OR SET RID OFINFORMA T ION THAT WE TAKE IN
 IT S BASED ON A ONE-HOUR LECTURE
 Day 1
 Day 2
 Day 7
 Day 30
 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE LECTURE
 YOU GO IN KNOWING NOTHING, OR 0%
 (WHERE THE CURVE STARTS AT THE BASELINE)
 AT THE END OF THE LECTURE
 YOU KNOW 100% OF WHAT YOU KNOW.
 HOWEVER WELL YOU KNOW IT
 (WHERE THE CURVE RISES TO ITS HIGHEST POINT).
 IF YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING
 WITH THE INFORMATION YOU LEARNED
 IN THE LECTURE, DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN,
 READ IT AGAIN, ETC
 YOU WILL HAVE LOST 50-80% OF WHAT YOU LEARNED
 OUR BRAINS ARE cONSTANTLY RECORDING INFORMATION
 ON A TEMPORARY BAS IS.
 BECAUSE THE INFORMATION ISN'T NECESSARY
 AND IT DOESN'T COME UP AGAIN, OUR BRAINS DUMP IT ALL
 OFF, ALONG WITH WHAT WAS LEARNED IN THE LECTURE!

 Days 7-30
 BY DAY 7. WE REMEMBER EVEN LESS.
 AND BY DAY 30. WE RETAIN ABOUT
 2%-3% OF THE ORIGINAL HOUR!
 THIS NICELY cOINCIDES WITH MIDTERM EXAMS,
 AND MAY ACCOUNT FOR FEELING AS IF YOU'VE
 NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE WHEN
 YOU'RE STUDYING FOR EXAMS
 YOU MAY NEED TO ACTUALLY RE-LEARN IT FROM SCRATCH
 You can dhange the shape of the arnve!
 REPROCESSING THE SAME CHUNK OF INFORMATION SEND
 A BIG SIGNAL TO YOUR BRAIN TO HOLD ONTO THAT DATA.
 WHEN THE SAME THING IS REPEATED, YOUR BRAIN SAYS,
 OH -THERE IT IS AGAIN, I BETTER KEEP THAT
 But ho?
 WITHIN 24 HOURS OF GETTING THE INFORMATION
 SPEND 10 MINUTES REVIEWING AND YOU WILL RAISE
 THE CURVE ALMOST TO 100% AGAIN.
 A WEEK LATER (DAY 7), IT ONLY TAKES 5 MINUTES3
 TO "REACTIVATE" THE SAME MATERIAL,
 AND AGAIN RAISE THE CURVE.
 BY DAY 30, YOUR BRAIN WILL ONLY NEED 2-4 MINUTES
 TO GIVE YOU THE FEEDBACK YES, I KNON THAT..."
 LAZYBUNSTUDIES.TUMBLR.COM WWH.UNATERLOO.CA/ COUNSELLING SERVICES/CURVE FORGETTING
<p><a href="http://thelazystudyspot.tumblr.com/post/124414401438/the-curve-of-forgetting-originally-called-the" class="tumblr_blog">thelazystudyspot</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><b>The Curve of Forgetting</b> (originally called The Ebbinghuas Curve after the German philosopher Hermann Ebbinghaus who developed it in 1885)


demonstrates how quickly we forget new information we don’t work with repeatedly.  It shows just how important it is to revise everyday - even for a few minutes!</p><p><i><small><small>Sources: (<a href="https://uwaterloo.ca/counselling-services/curve-forgetting">x</a>) (<a href="http://ol.scc.spokane.edu/jroth/Courses/English%2094-study%20skills/MASTER%20DOCS%20and%20TESTS/Curve%20of%20Forgetting.htm">x</a>)</small></small></i></p></blockquote>

thelazystudyspot: The Curve of Forgetting (originally called The Ebbinghuas Curve after the German philosopher Hermann Ebbinghaus who devel...