A
A

A

So I
So I

So I

Do That
Do That

Do That

Could
Could

Could

Are
Are

Are

Comes
Comes

Comes

With
With

With

In My
In My

In My

These
These

These

When The
When The

When The

🔥 | Latest

Cars, Iphone, and Life: georgia @georgiaanais_ that's a vegan salad, there's reusable water bottles, unpackaged fruit, and she's travelling by train which produce 80% less greenhouse gas emmissions than cars, the only travel more environmentally friendly is walking cycling but you carry on or bullying a 16 year old xxxх Pocketrocket @pocket_rocket96 19h Oh she looks so frightened about the immediate climate catastrophe. As she sits there on a train, surrounded by plastic containers and processed foods. A picture paints a thousand words. This tells you she knows nothing about what she speaks of. nLimpan SALAT VEGANSK 12:23 PM Sep 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 73.1K Retweets 300K Likes georgia Replying to @georgiaanais_ @georgiaanais_ 12h nobody in this world is perfect and of course she will have to use one use plastic where there is no alternative, we don't all have to completely change our lives but little changes are still changes!!! if ur not vegan but use a reusable bottle that's ok!! every little helps x 12 L541 6.1K holisticfansstuff: a-can-of-mountain-jew: thebisquid: itshardtoactnormal: I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the earth to get better Also - What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided? Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life.
Cars, Iphone, and Life: georgia
 @georgiaanais_
 that's a vegan salad, there's reusable
 water bottles, unpackaged fruit, and
 she's travelling by train which produce
 80% less greenhouse gas emmissions
 than cars, the only travel more
 environmentally friendly is walking
 cycling but you carry on
 or
 bullying a 16
 year old xxxх
 Pocketrocket @pocket_rocket96 19h
 Oh she looks so
 frightened about the immediate climate
 catastrophe. As she sits there on a train, surrounded by
 plastic containers and processed foods. A picture
 paints a thousand words. This tells you she knows
 nothing about what she speaks of.
 nLimpan
 SALAT
 VEGANSK
 12:23 PM Sep 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 73.1K Retweets
 300K Likes

 georgia
 Replying to @georgiaanais_
 @georgiaanais_ 12h
 nobody in this world is perfect and of course she
 will have to use one use plastic where there is no
 alternative, we don't all have to completely change
 our lives but little changes are still changes!!! if ur
 not vegan but use a reusable bottle that's ok!!
 every little helps x
 12
 L541
 6.1K
holisticfansstuff:

a-can-of-mountain-jew:

thebisquid:

itshardtoactnormal:
I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl

 wanting the earth to get better

Also -
What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided? 
Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM
It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat


Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life.

holisticfansstuff: a-can-of-mountain-jew: thebisquid: itshardtoactnormal: I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanti...

Anna, Cute, and Fucking: Buy HEARTBEAT SPECIAL PROMOTION! Offer ends in 47:11:06 $14.99 -35% $9.74 Add to Cart Buy HEARTBEAT+Soundtrack Includes 2 items: HEART BEAT, HEARTBEAT Soundtrack $21.98 40% -41% $12.86 Bundle info Add to Cart d3vilr4t: karpad: i-am-loco: queer-anna: nebula-bf: psiotechniqa: charityforrichpeople: yuuki-mishima: yuuki-mishima: totallynotreimuhakurei: nicy-v: transpopuko: totallynotreimuhakurei: transpopuko: transpopuko: transpopuko: Bro what the fuck Of all the fucking things you could do, of all the fucking numbers you could pick Yall are fucking heartless monsters in case yall are a bit in the dark abt the number, the trans suicide rate has been recorded at 41% Heartbeat sucks and fuck transphones but I’m pretty sure the discounts are set my steam’s algorithm and not the developer iirc devs control their own sales and discounts It was intentional @transpopuko Oh nevermind fuck this game and it’s shitty devs Went to check their twitter to see what else they tweeted and, not seeing any white supremacy anything - just sounds like a conservative who doesn’t believe in gender reassignment surgery or transtrender BS Ok brony. Don’t forget that the average live expectancy for trans woc is 35. Both sales are intentional also this points out that the 35% has more than one malicious meaning well this is just disgusting. please do not buy their shitty game. what the fuck. i remember seeing previews of this game and thinking its cute style wise and im glad i didnt buy it. fuck this guy Fucking disgusting pieces of shit
Anna, Cute, and Fucking: Buy HEARTBEAT
 SPECIAL PROMOTION! Offer ends in 47:11:06
 $14.99
 -35% $9.74
 Add to Cart
 Buy HEARTBEAT+Soundtrack
 Includes 2 items: HEART BEAT, HEARTBEAT Soundtrack
 $21.98
 40% -41% $12.86
 Bundle info
 Add to Cart
d3vilr4t:
karpad:

i-am-loco:

queer-anna:

nebula-bf:


psiotechniqa:


charityforrichpeople:

yuuki-mishima:


yuuki-mishima:


totallynotreimuhakurei:

nicy-v:


transpopuko:


totallynotreimuhakurei:


transpopuko:


transpopuko:

transpopuko:
Bro what the fuck
Of all the fucking things you could do, of all the fucking numbers you could pick
Yall are fucking heartless monsters

in case yall are a bit in the dark abt the number, the trans suicide rate has been recorded at 41%


Heartbeat sucks and fuck transphones but I’m pretty sure the discounts are set my steam’s algorithm and not the developer 


iirc devs control their own sales and discounts


It was intentional


@transpopuko Oh nevermind fuck this game and it’s shitty devs


Went to check their twitter to see what else they tweeted and,









not seeing any white supremacy anything - just sounds like a conservative who doesn’t believe in gender reassignment surgery or transtrender BS


Ok brony.


Don’t forget that the average live expectancy for trans woc is 35. Both sales are intentional

also this points out that the 35% has more than one malicious meaning

well this is just disgusting. please do not buy their shitty game.


what the fuck. i remember seeing previews of this game and thinking its cute style wise and im glad i didnt buy it. fuck this guy


Fucking disgusting pieces of shit

d3vilr4t: karpad: i-am-loco: queer-anna: nebula-bf: psiotechniqa: charityforrichpeople: yuuki-mishima: yuuki-mishima: totallynot...

Cars, Iphone, and Life: georgia @georgiaanais_ that's a vegan salad, there's reusable water bottles, unpackaged fruit, and she's travelling by train which produce 80% less greenhouse gas emmissions than cars, the only travel more environmentally friendly is walking cycling but you carry on or bullying a 16 year old xxxх Pocketrocket @pocket_rocket96 19h Oh she looks so frightened about the immediate climate catastrophe. As she sits there on a train, surrounded by plastic containers and processed foods. A picture paints a thousand words. This tells you she knows nothing about what she speaks of. nLimpan SALAT VEGANSK 12:23 PM Sep 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 73.1K Retweets 300K Likes georgia Replying to @georgiaanais_ @georgiaanais_ 12h nobody in this world is perfect and of course she will have to use one use plastic where there is no alternative, we don't all have to completely change our lives but little changes are still changes!!! if ur not vegan but use a reusable bottle that's ok!! every little helps x 12 L541 6.1K n-trance: a-can-of-mountain-jew: thebisquid: itshardtoactnormal: I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the earth to get better Also - What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided? Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life.
Cars, Iphone, and Life: georgia
 @georgiaanais_
 that's a vegan salad, there's reusable
 water bottles, unpackaged fruit, and
 she's travelling by train which produce
 80% less greenhouse gas emmissions
 than cars, the only travel more
 environmentally friendly is walking
 cycling but you carry on
 or
 bullying a 16
 year old xxxх
 Pocketrocket @pocket_rocket96 19h
 Oh she looks so
 frightened about the immediate climate
 catastrophe. As she sits there on a train, surrounded by
 plastic containers and processed foods. A picture
 paints a thousand words. This tells you she knows
 nothing about what she speaks of.
 nLimpan
 SALAT
 VEGANSK
 12:23 PM Sep 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 73.1K Retweets
 300K Likes

 georgia
 Replying to @georgiaanais_
 @georgiaanais_ 12h
 nobody in this world is perfect and of course she
 will have to use one use plastic where there is no
 alternative, we don't all have to completely change
 our lives but little changes are still changes!!! if ur
 not vegan but use a reusable bottle that's ok!!
 every little helps x
 12
 L541
 6.1K
n-trance:
a-can-of-mountain-jew:

thebisquid:

itshardtoactnormal:
I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl

 wanting the earth to get better

Also -
What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided? 
Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM
It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat


Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life.

n-trance: a-can-of-mountain-jew: thebisquid: itshardtoactnormal: I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the ear...

Cars, Iphone, and Life: georgia @georgiaanais_ that's a vegan salad, there's reusable water bottles, unpackaged fruit, and she's travelling by train which produce 80% less greenhouse gas emmissions than cars, the only travel more environmentally friendly is walking cycling but you carry on or bullying a 16 year old xxxх Pocketrocket @pocket_rocket96 19h Oh she looks so frightened about the immediate climate catastrophe. As she sits there on a train, surrounded by plastic containers and processed foods. A picture paints a thousand words. This tells you she knows nothing about what she speaks of. nLimpan SALAT VEGANSK 12:23 PM Sep 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 73.1K Retweets 300K Likes georgia Replying to @georgiaanais_ @georgiaanais_ 12h nobody in this world is perfect and of course she will have to use one use plastic where there is no alternative, we don't all have to completely change our lives but little changes are still changes!!! if ur not vegan but use a reusable bottle that's ok!! every little helps x 12 L541 6.1K the-musical-cc: leauxevol: itshardtoactnormal: a-can-of-mountain-jew: thebisquid: itshardtoactnormal: I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl wanting the earth to get better Also - What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided? Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life. You’re damn right. Teleport I see so much hate for her in FB and it’s incredibly telling about someone that they react like this to being told they have to start caring.
Cars, Iphone, and Life: georgia
 @georgiaanais_
 that's a vegan salad, there's reusable
 water bottles, unpackaged fruit, and
 she's travelling by train which produce
 80% less greenhouse gas emmissions
 than cars, the only travel more
 environmentally friendly is walking
 cycling but you carry on
 or
 bullying a 16
 year old xxxх
 Pocketrocket @pocket_rocket96 19h
 Oh she looks so
 frightened about the immediate climate
 catastrophe. As she sits there on a train, surrounded by
 plastic containers and processed foods. A picture
 paints a thousand words. This tells you she knows
 nothing about what she speaks of.
 nLimpan
 SALAT
 VEGANSK
 12:23 PM Sep 25, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
 73.1K Retweets
 300K Likes

 georgia
 Replying to @georgiaanais_
 @georgiaanais_ 12h
 nobody in this world is perfect and of course she
 will have to use one use plastic where there is no
 alternative, we don't all have to completely change
 our lives but little changes are still changes!!! if ur
 not vegan but use a reusable bottle that's ok!!
 every little helps x
 12
 L541
 6.1K
the-musical-cc:
leauxevol:

itshardtoactnormal:


a-can-of-mountain-jew:

thebisquid:

itshardtoactnormal:
I can’t believe people are mad about a 16-year-old girl

 wanting the earth to get better

Also -
What is she supposed to do, motherfucker? Teleport?? Spontaneously develop the ability to fly unaided? 
Not to mention the fact that THERE IS NO ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM
It doesn’t matter how committed you are to fixing the climate you still have to fuckin eat


Corporations do more harm in one hour than any singular human could do in their whole life. 

You’re damn right.


Teleport 

I see so much hate for her in FB and it’s incredibly telling about someone that they react like this to being told they have to start caring.

the-musical-cc: leauxevol: itshardtoactnormal: a-can-of-mountain-jew: thebisquid: itshardtoactnormal: I can’t believe people are mad ab...

Beautiful, Chill, and Confidence: reddit Marylandman101 4y what does it feel like to do heroin 256 [deleted] 4y Actually this is an obvious question but it's not what you might think. Let me explain it to you, I've been an opiate addict for a long time and tried many drugs. Drugs that are 'uppers' have the most 'obvious' euphoria. For example if you take adderall/coke/meth/speed/MDMA you will get this shining bright euphoria, self confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings (for meth like you are king However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you. After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on coke you will feel like shit. To an extent this aspect is similar to an alcoholic hangover. or for MDMA like you love everyone) On the other hand, for many people who experiment with heroin they are underwhelmed (not including IV usage, but most experimenters rarely ever IV first time). They just feel good, chill, happy, but they feel like this spooky drug 'heroin' hasn't delivered They are just mellow. Oh obviously it has all been a lie they will think. Heroin isn't spooky, it's chill. It's not addictive like everyone else thinks. It doesn't make you do stupid shit or stay up all day and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn't empty your serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People tend to just think oh, what a nice drug. So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No headache or shitty feeling--just a slight afterglow of that nice feeling. Oh it was cheap as well! It only cost $10 for a whole night of being high! I thought people said heroin was expensive? And then next weekend comes... There are all these drugs I could do but I liked heroin. It didn't 'fuck me up,' I could still think clearly. No hangover. No feeling like shit later. I still was awake. It just made me happy and content with life. Oh and it's only $10! Well, I should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great! I will use Heroin on the weekends now! Now let's say this person works and has responsibilities. He knows he can't go into work drunk, or on MDMA, or high. So he doesn't. It's actually simple. But heroin... Well the user might actually find they do better work on heroin. Instead of being sad or grumpy or depressed with his jo... he is just... happy. Mellow. Content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful. It's raining, it's dark, I woke up at 5:30AM, I'm commuting in traffic. I would have had a headache, I would have been miserable, I would have wondered how my life took me to this point. This point I'm at right now. But no, no, everything is fine. Life is beautiful. The rain drops are just falling and in each one I see the reflection of every persons life around me. Humanity is beautiful. In this still frame shot of traffic on this crowded bus I just found love and peace Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money. I need heroin to feel normal. I don't love anymore. Now I'm sick. I can't afford the heroin that I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn't actually deal. Oh I need to find a real dealer? This guy is a felon and carries a gun--he can sell me the drug that lets me find love in the world. No this isn't working, I need to quit. To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That's all, it just feels very nice. You can make the rest up for yourself. Attach your own half-truths to this drug that will show you the world and for a moment you will feel as clever as Faust. Edit: Thank you for the kind words. I received help and I'm doing well now. Luckily I was able to pull up and get help right before I entered the deadly downward spiral. Some of my friends have not done as well. Sorry to steal the limelight from OP 2675 Ifuxdalion 4y Reading that was more haunting than any anti-drug campaign that I've been exposed to. Thanks. A lot. 907
Beautiful, Chill, and Confidence: reddit
 Marylandman101 4y
 what does it feel like to do heroin
 256
 [deleted] 4y
 Actually this is an obvious question but it's not what you might
 think. Let me explain it to you, I've been an opiate addict for a
 long time and tried many drugs. Drugs that are 'uppers' have the
 most 'obvious' euphoria. For example if you take
 adderall/coke/meth/speed/MDMA you will get this shining bright
 euphoria, self confidence, energy, and other drug-specific feelings
 (for meth like you are king
 However, you owe these drugs back what they delivered to you.
 After a meth binge, or lots of MDMA use, or staying up all night on
 coke you will feel like shit. To an extent this aspect is similar to an
 alcoholic hangover.
 or for MDMA like you love everyone)
 On the other hand, for many people who experiment with heroin
 they are underwhelmed (not including IV usage, but most
 experimenters rarely ever IV first time). They just feel good, chill,
 happy, but they feel like this spooky drug 'heroin' hasn't delivered
 They are just mellow. Oh obviously it has all been a lie they will
 think. Heroin isn't spooky, it's chill. It's not addictive like everyone
 else thinks. It doesn't make you do stupid shit or stay up all day
 and hallucinate like amphetamines or coke. It doesn't empty your
 serotonin like MDMA or give you a hangover like alcohol. People
 tend to just think oh, what a nice drug.
 So the next day they wake up and everything is normal. No
 headache or shitty feeling--just a slight afterglow of that nice
 feeling. Oh it was cheap as well! It only cost $10 for a whole night
 of being high! I thought people said heroin was expensive? And
 then next weekend comes... There are all these drugs I could do
 but I liked heroin. It didn't 'fuck me up,' I could still think clearly. No
 hangover. No feeling like shit later. I still was awake. It just made
 me happy and content with life. Oh and it's only $10! Well, I
 should get some more for the whole weekend. This is great! I will
 use Heroin on the weekends now!

 Now let's say this person works and has responsibilities. He
 knows he can't go into work drunk, or on MDMA, or high. So he
 doesn't. It's actually simple. But heroin... Well the user might
 actually find they do better work on heroin. Instead of being sad
 or grumpy or depressed with his jo... he is just... happy. Mellow.
 Content. Everything is fine and the world is beautiful. It's raining,
 it's dark, I woke up at 5:30AM, I'm commuting in traffic. I would
 have had a headache, I would have been miserable, I would have
 wondered how my life took me to this point. This point I'm at right
 now. But no, no, everything is fine. Life is beautiful. The rain drops
 are just falling and in each one I see the reflection of every
 persons life around me. Humanity is beautiful. In this still frame
 shot of traffic on this crowded bus I just found love and peace
 Heroin is a wonder drug. Heroin is better than everything else.
 Heroin makes me who I wish I was. Heroin makes life worth
 living. Heroin is better than everything else. Heroin builds up a
 tolerance fast. Heroin starts to cost more money. I need heroin to
 feel normal. I don't love anymore. Now I'm sick. I can't afford the
 heroin that I need. How did $10 used to get me high? Now I need
 $100. That guy that let me try a few lines the first time doesn't
 actually deal. Oh I need to find a real dealer? This guy is a felon
 and carries a gun--he can sell me the drug that lets me find love
 in the world. No this isn't working, I need to quit.
 To answer your question, heroin feels nice. That's all, it just feels
 very nice. You can make the rest up for yourself. Attach your own
 half-truths to this drug that will show you the world and for a
 moment you will feel as clever as Faust.
 Edit: Thank you for the kind words. I received help and I'm doing
 well now. Luckily I was able to pull up and get help right before I
 entered the deadly downward spiral. Some of my friends have not
 done as well. Sorry to steal the limelight from OP
 2675
 Ifuxdalion 4y
 Reading that was more haunting than any anti-drug campaign
 that I've been exposed to. Thanks. A lot.
 907
Dating, Desperate, and Drinking: 20:14 O 11% Claire Today 18:23 Am I supposed to send my CV to you separate or do you just want a covering letter? Covering letter is enough Could I get a job description to base it off please? Today 19:35 Lonely, mildly depressed single female seeking remotely stable man friend to people watch in reality and via Netflix Responsibilities include: Chaperoning to live music events, cinemas and shitty Dundee bars, perhaps occasionally a nightclub. Corresponding via a range of media within adequate times. Ability to tolerate prolonged bouts of complaining about life or work as well a questionable music taste. Providing mental and physical support in a range of activities including the gym. Spooning and perhaps sexual duties. Temporary post. Potential to become permanent. I'm a business teacher, this is my shit right here Today 20:06 Dear Claire, I'm writing this letter in regards to the temporary/permanent position of Partner. Please find my desperate attempt at wooing below. I am a reasonably stable Male that has previous experience in dating/ being a partner, with varying levels of success. Can deal with copious amounts of complaining over different forms of communication, very rarely leaves on read. Prefer outdoor activities to indoor exercise but can do. Will deal with drinking sessions professionally until shots are ordered though will still find way home. Sexual performance may vary. Thank you for taking the time to review my application, I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully progressing to the next stage of a date. I can't believe you actually wrote me a cover letter it's one of the better ones I've had so I guess we could do an "interview". Type a message... GIF Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”
Dating, Desperate, and Drinking: 20:14 O
 11%
 Claire
 Today 18:23
 Am I supposed to send my CV to
 you separate or do you just want a
 covering letter?
 Covering letter is enough
 Could I get a job description to base
 it off please?
 Today 19:35
 Lonely, mildly depressed single
 female seeking remotely stable
 man friend to people watch in
 reality and via Netflix
 Responsibilities include:
 Chaperoning to live music events,
 cinemas and shitty Dundee bars,
 perhaps occasionally a nightclub.
 Corresponding via a range of
 media within adequate times.
 Ability to tolerate prolonged bouts
 of complaining about life or work
 as well a questionable music taste.
 Providing mental and physical
 support in a range of activities
 including the gym.
 Spooning and perhaps sexual
 duties.
 Temporary post. Potential to
 become permanent.
 I'm a business teacher, this is my
 shit right here
 Today 20:06
 Dear Claire,
 I'm writing this letter in regards to
 the temporary/permanent position
 of Partner. Please find my desperate
 attempt at wooing below.
 I am a reasonably stable Male that
 has previous experience in dating/
 being a partner, with varying levels
 of success. Can deal with copious
 amounts of complaining over
 different forms of communication,
 very rarely leaves on read. Prefer
 outdoor activities to indoor exercise
 but can do. Will deal with drinking
 sessions professionally until shots
 are ordered though will still find way
 home. Sexual performance may
 vary.
 Thank you for taking the time to
 review my application, I look forward
 to hearing from you and hopefully
 progressing to the next stage of a
 date.
 I can't believe you actually wrote
 me a cover letter
 it's one of
 the better ones I've had so I guess
 we could do an "interview".
 Type a message...
 GIF
Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”

Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”

Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I tried to steal a large, expensive bottle of beer from a house I cleverly hid it by stuffing it into my pants. party I was attending. I knew there was only one thing I could do to make this right. But as I was saying goodbye... The bottle fell out and shattered on the ground. 0 SNASH T ran the hell away. Collegelumon ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... CollegeHumor I went online and became an ordained minister. This is the number one best idea. QUIKMINISTER.BIZ "Twice as holy for half the price!" SIGN UP TODAY! So now, when you sneeze, and I say "bless you"... It secretly means so much more. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I started doing magic tricks for all of the employees at a bar. Whether they wanted to see them or not. Whassat behind yer ear...? Ish... thish yer card? uh, yeah actually! It's a shot! A few months later, I went back to that bar, assuming that by now no one would remember my embarrasing magic show. But the bouncer recognized me... Yeah, you're the guy with all the magic tricks, right? Hey pal, don'tIknow you from somewhere? well I've got one say to you... thing to WE STILL TALK THAT WAS SO AWESOME! ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! CollegeHumor ...He was a big fan. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I got super nauseous while I was riding in the car with friends so I barfed out the window, all over everyone in the back seat... ...and directly onto the windshield of the police car behind us. We got pulled over, and everyone in the car got a ticket... SPLAT!! CollegeHumon ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on. madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH
nsfw
Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I tried to steal a large, expensive
 bottle of beer from a house
 I cleverly hid it by stuffing
 it into my pants.
 party I was attending.
 I knew there was only
 one thing I could do
 to make this right.
 But as I was saying
 goodbye...
 The bottle fell out
 and shattered
 on the ground.
 0
 SNASH
 T ran the hell away.
 Collegelumon

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 CollegeHumor
 I went online and became an
 ordained minister.
 This is the number
 one best idea.
 QUIKMINISTER.BIZ
 "Twice as holy for
 half the price!"
 SIGN UP TODAY!
 So now, when you sneeze, and I
 say "bless you"...
 It secretly means so much more.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I started doing magic tricks for
 all of the employees at a bar.
 Whether they wanted to see
 them or not.
 Whassat behind yer ear...?
 Ish... thish yer card?
 uh, yeah actually!
 It's a shot!
 A few months later, I went back to that bar,
 assuming that by now no one would remember
 my embarrasing magic show.
 But the bouncer recognized me...
 Yeah, you're the guy with all
 the magic tricks, right?
 Hey pal, don'tIknow you from
 somewhere?
 well I've got one
 say to you...
 thing to
 WE STILL TALK
 THAT WAS SO AWESOME!
 ABOUT IT ALL
 THE TIME!
 CollegeHumor
 ...He was a
 big fan.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I got super nauseous while I was
 riding in the car with friends
 so I barfed out the window, all
 over everyone in the back seat...
 ...and directly onto the
 windshield of the police car
 behind us.
 We got pulled over, and
 everyone in the car got a ticket...
 SPLAT!!
 CollegeHumon
 ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on.
madamebomb:

pr1nceshawn:

One time, when I was drunk…

THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

Crime, Jail, and My House: uncleromeo when I was 11, my (black) neighbor witnessed my house being broken into. she called the police to report the crime. I came home from school and the robber was still inside. I personally watched as a man I didnt know walked out of my home with our stuff. the police didnt show up for 3 days. when they did, they told us there was nothing the could do because we "staged the house". they claimed we hid our tv's and valuables to make it look like more was actually stolen. they never asked for a description, never visited the neighbor who saw the break-in, anf as they left, they told us that stolen property is almost never recovered and we should "buy more and get on with [our] lives" when I was 23, I was dog-sitting for a (white) friend. her neighbor called the police and said there was a strange black man in her yard. the police showed up in 5 minutes. 6 units, 12 officers, stormed the back yard as I was running around with the dog. some came through the house and I know for a fact that the front door was locked. they damaged around $5000 worth of property, took her dog to the pound, and me to jail. my friend had to cut her trip short and drive 4 hours back to get me from jail and explain to police in person that she knew me. because "that could be anybody on the phone". the neighbor was with her when she came. we had met several times before. she was neither embarrassed nor apologetic. moral of the story? too many of us have lived this. too many of us didn't survive. Wow
Crime, Jail, and My House: uncleromeo
 when I was 11, my (black) neighbor witnessed my house being broken into.
 she called the police to report the crime. I came home from school and the
 robber was still inside. I personally watched as a man I didnt know walked out
 of my home with our stuff.
 the police didnt show up for 3 days.
 when they did, they told us there was nothing the could do because we
 "staged the house". they claimed we hid our tv's and valuables to make it look
 like more was actually stolen. they never asked for a description, never visited
 the neighbor who saw the break-in, anf as they left, they told us that stolen
 property is almost never recovered and we should "buy more and get on with
 [our] lives"
 when I was 23, I was dog-sitting for a (white) friend. her neighbor called the
 police and said there was a strange black man in her yard.
 the police showed up in 5 minutes.
 6 units, 12 officers, stormed the back yard as I was running around with the
 dog. some came through the house and I know for a fact that the front door
 was locked. they damaged around $5000 worth of property, took her dog to
 the pound, and me to jail.
 my friend had to cut her trip short and drive 4 hours back to get me from jail
 and explain to police in person that she knew me. because "that could be
 anybody on the phone". the neighbor was with her when she came. we had
 met several times before. she was neither embarrassed nor apologetic.
 moral of the story?
 too many of us have lived this. too many of us didn't survive.
Wow

Wow