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Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8"); *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world * and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error_reporting (E_ALL) ; ini_set("display_errors",true); print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?> I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.
Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset=utf-8");
 *This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 *I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 *using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS.
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 *stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere.
 *Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 *correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 *in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment.
 *Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 * and hope it will be enough.
 Farewell.
 error_reporting (E_ALL) ;
 ini_set("display_errors",true);
 print('<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF - 8 " ?>'."\n") ; ?>
I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

I’m getting second thoughts about whether accepting this job was a good idea.

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one night to the smell of smoke, you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway scream unable to accept your Screi doom. That's when Yesterday 10:31 pm Bill and hitler You lie down and Surely that's the only reasonable answer your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for vou dear life as he takes you e and places you on the grass "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u Yesterday 10:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice but I admire your conviction. He bt's the last you ever see back inside, but runs alas, of him You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in mparison to the heartbreak you Today 12:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage. Today 1:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Type a message Send Type a message Send Iidppess IS. Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me. having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young Today 3:17 am couple come in, they remind you Can I change my answer डि ग कार सा much of your parents except ा they've already got a क पाCgical Be my guest son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family a f your last chance at livinga shildhood, When the time has as Me so I never have to think about that again come for them to formally tell the which child orphanage matron they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage, get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness is. That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Today 10:22 am Okay pls don't unmatch, this is important stuff now. But do you think it's sometimes better to ask forgiveness rather than permission? I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Yes Type a message Send Type a message.. Send Why he hates Stuart Little
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 डि ग कार सा
 much of your parents except
 ा
 they've already got a
 क पाCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little

Why he hates Stuart Little

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32 You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Wednesday 11:31 pm Bill and hitler Surely that's the only reasonable answer Wednesday 11:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice butI admire your conviction. Today 1:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir Today 2:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one to the smell of smoke, night you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway. You lie down and scream, unable to accept your impending doom. That's when your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for your dear life as he takes you outside and places you on the grass. "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!" He bravely runs back inside, but alas, that's the last you ever see of him. You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in comparison to the heartbreak you felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young couple come in, they remind you much of your parents except they've already got a biological son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family as this may be your last chance at living a fulfilled childhood. When the time has come for them to formally tell the orphanage matron which child they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness Is I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Today 4:17 am Can I change my answer Be my guest Me so I never have to think about that again That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Sent Type a message GIF Why I hate Stuart Little.
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.

Why I hate Stuart Little.