Impersonable
Impersonable

Impersonable

going under
 going under

going under

handled
 handled

handled

jenna
 jenna

jenna

handles
handles

handles

ifs
ifs

ifs

courtney
courtney

courtney

yours
yours

yours

oed
oed

oed

go to
go to

go to

🔥 | Latest

Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The Way Morrissey Describes A Boner In His Novel A bulbous salutation to you all. posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m Alan White BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's recently published novel List of the Lost, this happens. Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone." 03 thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex. DO A BARREL ROLL #in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey?? Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS??? … guys ….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.” … I mean. Comparatively… Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better. @goddessemily   was it this post?
Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?

thebibliosphere: doebarnes: mugsandpugs: jottingprosaist: shredsandpatches: hedwig-dordt: naznomad: martingoresangst: Thats the weir...

Family, Life, and Parents: The Anxiety Chart' Made to Help Others Understand My Anxiety MIGHTY The Anxiety Level 0 Anxiety Level 5 Life is good. Nothing to stress about. I can handle anything life throws my way." "What the hell am I going to do? Imagine totalling your car, messing up your big presentation at work or failing How average people start their day. your final exams at school. Anxiety Level 1 "Just a little hiccup. Nothing I can't handle. Anxiety Level 6 "This is all too much to handle! Akin to misplacing your sunglasses or the remote. Easily resolved Imagine losing your job, failing the big test AND totalling your car all in the same day Anxiety Level 7 Anxiety Level 2 Oh c'mon.. where the heck are they "I can't take anymore.." This is NOT a good time! Similar to misplacing your keys whe Anxiety Level 3 Imagine having all of that happen, then coming home to discover your basement flooded and your family pet died. you're running late for work. Anxiety Level 8 Where did that scratch come fromY Could anything else freakin go wrong?! Imagine finding a scratch or small ding on your new car. Imagine adding to that your identity was stolen, your bank account ciosed AND vour spouse left, taking the kids Anxiety Level 4 Anxiety Level 9 Silently rocking back and forth Imagine not being able to take anything shutting down completely What am I going to tell them? annImagine being the cause of a scratch or ding on your parents ts' new car.else and just wrapping in a blanket and car
Family, Life, and Parents: The Anxiety Chart'
 Made to Help Others
 Understand My
 Anxiety
 MIGHTY
 The
 Anxiety Level 0
 Anxiety Level 5
 Life is good. Nothing to stress
 about. I can handle anything
 life throws my way."
 "What the hell am I going to do?
 Imagine totalling your car, messing up
 your big presentation at work or failing
 How average people start their day.
 your final exams at school.
 Anxiety Level 1
 "Just a little hiccup. Nothing I
 can't handle.
 Anxiety Level 6
 "This is all too much to handle!
 Akin to misplacing your sunglasses
 or the remote. Easily resolved
 Imagine losing your job, failing the
 big test AND totalling your car all
 in the same day
 Anxiety Level 7
 Anxiety Level 2
 Oh c'mon.. where the heck are they
 "I can't take anymore.."
 This is NOT a good time!
 Similar to misplacing your keys whe
 Anxiety Level 3
 Imagine having all of that happen, then
 coming home to discover your basement
 flooded and your family pet died.
 you're running late for work.
 Anxiety Level 8
 Where did that scratch come fromY
 Could anything else freakin go wrong?!
 Imagine finding a scratch or small
 ding on your new car.
 Imagine adding to that your identity
 was stolen, your bank account ciosed
 AND vour spouse left, taking the kids
 Anxiety Level 4
 Anxiety Level 9
 Silently rocking back and forth
 Imagine not being able to take anything
 shutting down completely
 What am I going to tell them?
 annImagine being the cause of a scratch
 or ding on your parents
 ts' new car.else and just wrapping in a blanket and
 car