The
The

The

Hea
Hea

Hea

Friend Request
Friend Request

Friend Request

About Me
About Me

About Me

My Beer
My Beer

My Beer

hold my beer
 hold my beer

hold my beer

phone calls
 phone calls

phone calls

real story
 real story

real story

happy end
 happy end

happy end

bingeing
 bingeing

bingeing

🔥 | Latest

America, Apparently, and Baked: how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected gunvolt im going to have a stroke prideling Instead try Person A: You know... the thing Person B: The "thing"? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD artykyn As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l have witnessed .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a Russian one then...." . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English. e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak. . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing! Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back. s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt 287,537 notes May 16th, 2017 Bilingual
America, Apparently, and Baked: how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
 gunvolt
 im going to have a stroke
 prideling
 Instead try
 Person A: You know... the thing
 Person B: The "thing"?
 Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath*
 Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD
 artykyn
 As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not
 the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l
 have witnessed
 .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but
 remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed
 to lose their entire sense of identity
 e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while
 speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because
 he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which
 language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in
 confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a
 Russian one then...."
 . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count
 backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her
 breath until she got to the number she needed, and then
 translated it into English.
 e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is
 baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in
 English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up
 shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread
 in America is full of condoms
 . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the
 same language. Which I do not speak.
 . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his
 mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a
 word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls
 there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took
 him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to
 answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his
 back
 . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which
 turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing!
 Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic
 blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over.
 And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back.
 s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt
 287,537 notes
 May 16th, 2017
Bilingual

Bilingual

America, Apparently, and Baked: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected <p><a href="http://artykyn.tumblr.com/post/160134767689/prideling-gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">artykyn</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://prideling.tumblr.com/post/156129759362/gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">prideling</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://gunvolt.tumblr.com/post/156087107428/im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">gunvolt</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>im going to have a stroke</p></blockquote> <p>Instead try…<br/><br/><b>Person A:</b> You know… the thing<br/><b>Person B:</b> The “thing”?<br/><b>Person A: </b>Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* <i>Como es que se llama esa mierda</i>… THE FISHING ROD</p> </blockquote> <p><b>As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:</b></p> <ul><li>Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.</li></ul><ul><li>Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”</li></ul><ul><li>Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.</li></ul><ul><li>Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.</li></ul><ul><li>Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.</li></ul><ul><li>Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “<i><b>Is</b></i> there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.</li></ul><ul><li>Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into <i>“What stressing!”</i> </li></ul><p>Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”</p> </blockquote>
America, Apparently, and Baked: mothman
 @LEVKAWA
 how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said.
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
<p><a href="http://artykyn.tumblr.com/post/160134767689/prideling-gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">artykyn</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://prideling.tumblr.com/post/156129759362/gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">prideling</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://gunvolt.tumblr.com/post/156087107428/im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">gunvolt</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>im going to have a stroke</p></blockquote>
<p>Instead try…<br/><br/><b>Person A:</b> You know… the thing<br/><b>Person B:</b> The “thing”?<br/><b>Person A: </b>Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* <i>Como es que se llama esa mierda</i>… THE FISHING ROD</p>
</blockquote>
<p><b>As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:</b></p>
<ul><li>Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.</li></ul><ul><li>Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”</li></ul><ul><li>Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.</li></ul><ul><li>Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.</li></ul><ul><li>Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.</li></ul><ul><li>Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “<i><b>Is</b></i> there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.</li></ul><ul><li>Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into <i>“What stressing!”</i>
</li></ul><p>Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”</p>
</blockquote>

artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the t...

America, Apparently, and Bad: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed: Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.” I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix.  There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that. From my bilingual parents: - Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…” - Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.” - Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.” - Swears in English don’t count. - Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid. - Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.”  - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”  - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun.  самолет -  самолетас -  самолетасы - when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired  - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise  bonus:  - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over - using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks all of the above OMG. THIS.  -switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog” I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages.  I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English. blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language! also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”
America, Apparently, and Bad: mothman
 @LEVKAWA
 how to tell when a bilingual character was
 not written by a bilingual person 101
 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said.
 "Uh...what?"
 "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's
 up?" He corrected
kalidels:

misdiagnosed-ghost:

rrojasandribbons:

cobaltmoony:

silentwalrus1:

justgot1:

cricketcat9:

artykyn:

prideling:

gunvolt:
im going to have a stroke
Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD

As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:
Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”
Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”

I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix. 

There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that.
From my bilingual parents:
- Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…”
- Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.”
- Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.”
- Swears in English don’t count.
- Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid.
- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” 
- Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.”

 - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun. 
самолет - 
самолетас - 

самолетасы
- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired 
- speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise 
bonus: 
- keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over
- using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks

all of the above

OMG. THIS. 
-switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog”
I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages. 

I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English.

blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language!
also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”

kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im ...

Chris Pratt, Definitely, and Dumb: Chris Pratt 56 Min - e I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming #Jurassicworld press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and am truly sorry I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(S) I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which l am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can't say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don't want to but probably will have said. To those l (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry l already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed "JurassicGate" is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those l (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen (again) <p><a href="https://coolmanfromthepast.tumblr.com/post/159957005441/marvelassembles-chris-pratt-apologizing-for" class="tumblr_blog">coolmanfromthepast</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://marvelassembles.tumblr.com/post/119640635188/chris-pratt-apologizing-for-what-he-maybe-end-up" class="tumblr_blog">marvelassembles</a>:</p><blockquote><blockquote><p><i>Chris Pratt </i>“apologizing” for what he maybe end up accidentally saying in the future!</p></blockquote></blockquote> <p>Chris Pratt is a gift from God.</p></blockquote>
Chris Pratt, Definitely, and Dumb: Chris Pratt
 56 Min - e
 I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally
 saying during the forthcoming #Jurassicworld press tour. I hope you
 understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and am truly sorry
 I swear. I'm the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally
 will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(S)
 I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and
 simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act
 for which l am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have
 been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have
 had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy
 and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some
 entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have
 had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know
 you can't say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say
 the thing I definitely don't want to but probably will have said. To those l
 (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry l already am. I am
 fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a
 blunder (possibly to be) dubbed "JurassicGate" is (most likely) in no way a
 laughing matter. To those l (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will
 do everything in my power to make sure this doesn't happen (again)
<p><a href="https://coolmanfromthepast.tumblr.com/post/159957005441/marvelassembles-chris-pratt-apologizing-for" class="tumblr_blog">coolmanfromthepast</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://marvelassembles.tumblr.com/post/119640635188/chris-pratt-apologizing-for-what-he-maybe-end-up" class="tumblr_blog">marvelassembles</a>:</p><blockquote><blockquote><p><i>Chris Pratt </i>“apologizing” for what he maybe end up accidentally saying in the future!</p></blockquote></blockquote>
<p>Chris Pratt is a gift from God.</p></blockquote>

coolmanfromthepast: marvelassembles:Chris Pratt “apologizing” for what he maybe end up accidentally saying in the future! Chris Pratt is a ...

Animals, Beer, and Crying: Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett PEPSI: We made the biggest PR blunder of any major company this year. UNITED: Hold my beer. <p><a href="https://timidhedgie.tumblr.com/post/159443317662/libertarirynn-shaudo-cisnowflake" class="tumblr_blog">timidhedgie</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159443000604/shaudo-cisnowflake-literally-a-narwhale" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://shaudo.tumblr.com/post/159441367346/cisnowflake-literally-a-narwhale" class="tumblr_blog">shaudo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/159439054866/literally-a-narwhale-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://literally-a-narwhale.tumblr.com/post/159435418913/libertarirynn-dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">literally-a-narwhale</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159434424664/dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://dracoeris.tumblr.com/post/159433959703/jetpack-jenny-tastefullyoffensive" class="tumblr_blog">dracoeris</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://jetpack-jenny.tumblr.com/post/159433707168/tastefullyoffensive-via-mikeljollett-what" class="tumblr_blog">jetpack-jenny</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/159433303123/via-mikeljollett" class="tumblr_blog">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>(via <a href="https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/851485532458582016">Mikel_Jollett</a>)</p></blockquote> <p>what inoffensive thing are yall crying about now?</p> </blockquote> <p>oh… i wouldn’t call it that… </p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah I wouldn’t say this one is inoffensive.</p> </blockquote> <p>jesus fucking christ this is horrifying</p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah this isn’t like the Pepsi thing. This seems pretty fucked.</p> </blockquote> <p>Have you seen the apology they posted? Can you say “PR nightmare”?</p> <p>It goes something like this:</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="679" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0ca68e14d95f3ce442d77560070fbc/tumblr_inline_oo8ebxIe6M1rw09tq_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0ca68e14d95f3ce442d77560070fbc/tumblr_inline_oo8eh9LYVT1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="679" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0ca68e14d95f3ce442d77560070fbc/tumblr_inline_oo8ebxIe6M1rw09tq_540.jpg"/></figure></blockquote> <p>“re-accommodate” is a really interesting way of saying “bash customers faces in and drag them screaming off the flight they paid for like animals”.</p> </blockquote> <p>Wait what happened?</p> </blockquote> <p>Basically United is one big pile of turd burgers. The tl;dr version is that they overbooked a flight and then realized they needed to get some employees on the plane even though it was full so they offered money for people to volunteer to get off and when no one did they just randomly picked some people to force off the flight. One of those passengers said he was a doctor who had to go home to his patients and didn’t get off the flight, so of course the police show up and very reasonably begin to beat the shit out of him and drag him off the plane screaming and bleeding. You can look at the videos. It’s pretty disturbing. I always say there are two sides to every story, but the videos and witness accounts are painting a pretty ugly picture as it stands, and the CEO&rsquo;s response didn’t make things much better. </p>
Animals, Beer, and Crying: Mikel Jollett
 @Mikel_Jollett
 PEPSI: We made the biggest PR
 blunder of any major company this
 year.
 UNITED: Hold my beer.
<p><a href="https://timidhedgie.tumblr.com/post/159443317662/libertarirynn-shaudo-cisnowflake" class="tumblr_blog">timidhedgie</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159443000604/shaudo-cisnowflake-literally-a-narwhale" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://shaudo.tumblr.com/post/159441367346/cisnowflake-literally-a-narwhale" class="tumblr_blog">shaudo</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/159439054866/literally-a-narwhale-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://literally-a-narwhale.tumblr.com/post/159435418913/libertarirynn-dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">literally-a-narwhale</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159434424664/dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://dracoeris.tumblr.com/post/159433959703/jetpack-jenny-tastefullyoffensive" class="tumblr_blog">dracoeris</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://jetpack-jenny.tumblr.com/post/159433707168/tastefullyoffensive-via-mikeljollett-what" class="tumblr_blog">jetpack-jenny</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/159433303123/via-mikeljollett" class="tumblr_blog">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>(via <a href="https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/851485532458582016">Mikel_Jollett</a>)</p></blockquote>
<p>what inoffensive thing are yall crying about now?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>oh… i wouldn’t call it that… </p>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU</a><br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p>Yeah I wouldn’t say this one is inoffensive.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>jesus fucking christ this is horrifying</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Yeah this isn’t like the Pepsi thing. This seems pretty fucked.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Have you seen the apology they posted? Can you say “PR nightmare”?</p>
<p>It goes something like this:</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="679" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0ca68e14d95f3ce442d77560070fbc/tumblr_inline_oo8ebxIe6M1rw09tq_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0ca68e14d95f3ce442d77560070fbc/tumblr_inline_oo8eh9LYVT1rw09tq_540.jpg" data-orig-height="679" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0ca68e14d95f3ce442d77560070fbc/tumblr_inline_oo8ebxIe6M1rw09tq_540.jpg"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>“re-accommodate” is a really interesting way of saying “bash customers faces in and drag them screaming off the flight they paid for like animals”.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Wait what happened?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Basically United is one big pile of turd burgers. The tl;dr version is that they overbooked a flight and then realized they needed to get some employees on the plane even though it was full so they offered money for people to volunteer to get off and when no one did they just randomly picked some people to force off the flight. One of those passengers said he was a doctor who had to go home to his patients and didn’t get off the flight, so of course the police show up and very reasonably begin to beat the shit out of him and drag him off the plane screaming and bleeding. You can look at the videos. It’s pretty disturbing. I always say there are two sides to every story, but the videos and witness accounts are painting a pretty ugly picture as it stands, and the CEO&rsquo;s response didn’t make things much better. </p>

timidhedgie: libertarirynn: shaudo: cisnowflake: literally-a-narwhale: libertarirynn: dracoeris: jetpack-jenny: tastefullyoffen...

Beer, Crying, and Tumblr: Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett PEPSI: We made the biggest PR blunder of any major company this year. UNITED: Hold my beer. <p><a href="http://svcuriosities.tumblr.com/post/159435039986" class="tumblr_blog">svcuriosities</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159434424664/dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://dracoeris.tumblr.com/post/159433959703/jetpack-jenny-tastefullyoffensive" class="tumblr_blog">dracoeris</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://jetpack-jenny.tumblr.com/post/159433707168/tastefullyoffensive-via-mikeljollett-what" class="tumblr_blog">jetpack-jenny</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/159433303123/via-mikeljollett" class="tumblr_blog">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>(via <a href="https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/851485532458582016">Mikel_Jollett</a>)</p></blockquote> <p>what inoffensive thing are yall crying about now?</p> </blockquote> <p>oh… i wouldn’t call it that… </p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah I wouldn’t say this one is inoffensive.</p> </blockquote> <p>“Well he didn’t volunteer to leave the plane so that makes it perfectly fine to physically assault and manhandle a paying customer”<br/></p></blockquote> <p>That&rsquo;s pretty much what my mom said and she and I argued about it all night.</p>
Beer, Crying, and Tumblr: Mikel Jollett
 @Mikel_Jollett
 PEPSI: We made the biggest PR
 blunder of any major company this
 year.
 UNITED: Hold my beer.
<p><a href="http://svcuriosities.tumblr.com/post/159435039986" class="tumblr_blog">svcuriosities</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159434424664/dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://dracoeris.tumblr.com/post/159433959703/jetpack-jenny-tastefullyoffensive" class="tumblr_blog">dracoeris</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://jetpack-jenny.tumblr.com/post/159433707168/tastefullyoffensive-via-mikeljollett-what" class="tumblr_blog">jetpack-jenny</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/159433303123/via-mikeljollett" class="tumblr_blog">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>(via <a href="https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/851485532458582016">Mikel_Jollett</a>)</p></blockquote>
<p>what inoffensive thing are yall crying about now?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>oh… i wouldn’t call it that… </p>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU</a><br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p>Yeah I wouldn’t say this one is inoffensive.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>“Well he didn’t volunteer to leave the plane so that makes it perfectly fine to physically assault and manhandle a paying customer”<br/></p></blockquote>

<p>That&rsquo;s pretty much what my mom said and she and I argued about it all night.</p>

svcuriosities: libertarirynn: dracoeris: jetpack-jenny: tastefullyoffensive: (via Mikel_Jollett) what inoffensive thing are yall crying ...

Animals, Beer, and Crying: Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett PEPSI: We made the biggest PR blunder of any major company this year. UNITED: Hold my beer. <p><a href="http://shaudo.tumblr.com/post/159441367346/cisnowflake-literally-a-narwhale" class="tumblr_blog">shaudo</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/159439054866/literally-a-narwhale-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://literally-a-narwhale.tumblr.com/post/159435418913/libertarirynn-dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">literally-a-narwhale</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159434424664/dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://dracoeris.tumblr.com/post/159433959703/jetpack-jenny-tastefullyoffensive" class="tumblr_blog">dracoeris</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://jetpack-jenny.tumblr.com/post/159433707168/tastefullyoffensive-via-mikeljollett-what" class="tumblr_blog">jetpack-jenny</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/159433303123/via-mikeljollett" class="tumblr_blog">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>(via <a href="https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/851485532458582016">Mikel_Jollett</a>)</p></blockquote> <p>what inoffensive thing are yall crying about now?</p> </blockquote> <p>oh… i wouldn’t call it that… </p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU</a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah I wouldn’t say this one is inoffensive.</p> </blockquote> <p>jesus fucking christ this is horrifying</p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah this isn’t like the Pepsi thing. This seems pretty fucked.</p> </blockquote> <p>Have you seen the apology they posted? Can you say “PR nightmare”?</p><p>It goes something like this:</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="871" data-orig-width="693"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/526155030dabd6d4d64bc549eeb00e72/tumblr_inline_oo8afgKLux1qkfhof_540.jpg" data-orig-height="871" data-orig-width="693"/></figure></blockquote> <p>&ldquo;re-accommodate&rdquo; is a really interesting way of saying &ldquo;bash customers faces in and drag them screaming off the flight they paid for like animals&rdquo;.</p>
Animals, Beer, and Crying: Mikel Jollett
 @Mikel_Jollett
 PEPSI: We made the biggest PR
 blunder of any major company this
 year.
 UNITED: Hold my beer.
<p><a href="http://shaudo.tumblr.com/post/159441367346/cisnowflake-literally-a-narwhale" class="tumblr_blog">shaudo</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/159439054866/literally-a-narwhale-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="https://literally-a-narwhale.tumblr.com/post/159435418913/libertarirynn-dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">literally-a-narwhale</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/159434424664/dracoeris-jetpack-jenny" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://dracoeris.tumblr.com/post/159433959703/jetpack-jenny-tastefullyoffensive" class="tumblr_blog">dracoeris</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://jetpack-jenny.tumblr.com/post/159433707168/tastefullyoffensive-via-mikeljollett-what" class="tumblr_blog">jetpack-jenny</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/159433303123/via-mikeljollett" class="tumblr_blog">tastefullyoffensive</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>(via <a href="https://twitter.com/Mikel_Jollett/status/851485532458582016">Mikel_Jollett</a>)</p></blockquote>
<p>what inoffensive thing are yall crying about now?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>oh… i wouldn’t call it that… </p>
<p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHyOTEpUHIU</a><br/></p>
</blockquote>

<p>Yeah I wouldn’t say this one is inoffensive.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>jesus fucking christ this is horrifying</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Yeah this isn’t like the Pepsi thing. This seems pretty fucked.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Have you seen the apology they posted? Can you say “PR nightmare”?</p><p>It goes something like this:</p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="871" data-orig-width="693"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/526155030dabd6d4d64bc549eeb00e72/tumblr_inline_oo8afgKLux1qkfhof_540.jpg" data-orig-height="871" data-orig-width="693"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>&ldquo;re-accommodate&rdquo; is a really interesting way of saying &ldquo;bash customers faces in and drag them screaming off the flight they paid for like animals&rdquo;.</p>

shaudo: cisnowflake: literally-a-narwhale: libertarirynn: dracoeris: jetpack-jenny: tastefullyoffensive: (via Mikel_Jollett) what in...