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Tinder, Best, and Bio: By far the best bio I’ve come across on Tinder
Tinder, Best, and Bio: By far the best bio I’ve come across on Tinder

By far the best bio I’ve come across on Tinder

Anime, Cher, and Christmas: Piers Morgan @piersmorgan Наpрy Halloween. I identify s 4 PumPKIN 4:43 PM 31 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone 3,962 Retweets 36.9K Likes @singul.. luna stans nova | 83 ok boomer 2 394 t 3 Vincent @ChenzScauz 1d Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer 571 ta 3 Abi Dalby @AbiDalby1 1d Replying to@piersmorgan Ok boomer t 4 349 Bethany Cook @Royalygray 1d Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer 4 330 Freddy Krueger @rossboulton1 1d Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer t 3 300 erica A @ericaisnotokay 1d Replying to@piersmorgan Ok boomer 346 ta 3 georgia@worriedkillj oy 1d Replying to@piersmorgan okay boomer 300 t 3 wilma in 7133 @FOOKINHA... 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer t 3 530 nish #WeLoveYouWonho@cher.. 1d Replying to @piersmorganı ok boomer 407 maddy@beetlesquip 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer ta 3 267 katie @richiegayzier 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 380 ti 4 saar@underscoresaar 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 561 t 3 chrissy @BORINGPML 1d Replying to@piersmorgan ok boomer t 3 282 laur@danussy 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 407 t 3 pluto@uncomfypml 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer t 3 287 roza @rainbowsdan 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 646 luna stans nova | 83@ Replying to@piersmorgan @singul... 1d ok boomer t1 4 394 owen; katie day !@idwkawsten 1d Replying to@piersmorgan ok boomer t 4 302 tyler@lovesickdnp 1d Replying to@piersmorgan ok boomer ta 3 281 Charles #SaveTheOA @SadRap67 1d Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer 369 ti 4 tylera@soultown 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 2 523 GAGE LOVES CAYDEN @gobli... 1d Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer ta 4 345 Kyler @kylerstephan3 22h Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer t 2 368 im erin @danielsnails 22h Replying to @piersmorgan angi ok boomer 552 t1 2 mustbequeers @Mustbequeers 15h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer t 2 530 Mike Teo@MikeTeo2 13h Replying to@piersmorgan Ok boomer t 1 356 Christmas boi Noah @fal... 13h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 384 @kevinisheeereee 13h Replying to @piersmorgan kevin ok boomer 559 LeeDoug #TLJGang @LeeOnFilm 13h Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer 371 JOHNNY @jsjoker99 13h Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer 330 Ryan "He Man shill" the Disem... Replying to @piersmorgan 11h Ok boomer 331 purva @Demeradite 10h Replying to @piers morgan ok boomer 327 @demonbentley 18h Replying to @piersmorgan mari ok boomer 488 Michael@speed_force_77 13h Replying to @piersmorgan Ok boomer 400 Nando v Movies @ExtraLife @N... 13h Replying to @piersmorgan OK boomer 1 394 Sergio - FilmNOir @SergioPimw.. 12h Replying to @piersmorgan OK Boomer 310 pais @pippablackwell 12h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 321 kay @ anime nyc&@pixel... 10h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 355 colton fire will reign @danyslilith 12h Replying to @piersmorgan Ok bo0mer 9 1 448 ly.@yladir 17h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 864 theo he/him @umsushii 17h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 905 tegan's gf 4 @waspswings 16h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 700 andyneedstofuckingbreathe @_... 15h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 649 vic misses elle :(([( @myloveto... 14h Replying to @piersmorgan ok boomer 597 Priv in bio @Kirishimabe... 14h Fran Replying to @piersmorgan silence, boomer 932 >
Anime, Cher, and Christmas: Piers Morgan
 @piersmorgan
 Наpрy Halloween.
 I
 identify
 s 4
 PumPKIN
 4:43 PM 31 Oct 19 Twitter for iPhone
 3,962 Retweets 36.9K Likes

 @singul..
 luna stans nova | 83
 ok boomer
 2
 394
 t 3
 Vincent @ChenzScauz 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 571
 ta 3
 Abi Dalby @AbiDalby1 1d
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 t 4
 349
 Bethany Cook @Royalygray 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 4
 330
 Freddy Krueger @rossboulton1 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 t 3
 300
 erica A @ericaisnotokay 1d
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 346
 ta 3
 georgia@worriedkillj oy 1d
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 okay boomer
 300
 t 3
 wilma in 7133 @FOOKINHA... 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 t 3
 530
 nish #WeLoveYouWonho@cher.. 1d
 Replying to @piersmorganı
 ok boomer
 407
 maddy@beetlesquip 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 ta 3
 267
 katie @richiegayzier 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 380
 ti 4
 saar@underscoresaar 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 561
 t 3
 chrissy @BORINGPML 1d
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 t 3
 282
 laur@danussy 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 407
 t 3
 pluto@uncomfypml 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 t 3
 287
 roza @rainbowsdan 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 646
 luna stans nova | 83@
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 @singul... 1d
 ok boomer
 t1 4
 394
 owen; katie day !@idwkawsten 1d
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 t 4
 302
 tyler@lovesickdnp 1d
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 ta 3
 281
 Charles #SaveTheOA @SadRap67 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 369
 ti 4
 tylera@soultown 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 2
 523
 GAGE LOVES CAYDEN @gobli... 1d
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 ta 4
 345
 Kyler @kylerstephan3 22h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 t 2
 368
 im erin @danielsnails 22h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 angi
 ok boomer
 552
 t1 2
 mustbequeers @Mustbequeers 15h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 t 2
 530
 Mike Teo@MikeTeo2 13h
 Replying to@piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 t 1
 356

 Christmas boi Noah
 @fal... 13h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 384
 @kevinisheeereee 13h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 kevin
 ok boomer
 559
 LeeDoug #TLJGang @LeeOnFilm 13h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 371
 JOHNNY @jsjoker99 13h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 330
 Ryan "He Man shill" the Disem...
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 11h
 Ok boomer
 331
 purva @Demeradite 10h
 Replying to @piers morgan
 ok boomer
 327

 @demonbentley 18h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 mari
 ok boomer
 488
 Michael@speed_force_77 13h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok boomer
 400
 Nando v Movies @ExtraLife @N... 13h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 OK boomer
 1
 394
 Sergio - FilmNOir @SergioPimw.. 12h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 OK Boomer
 310
 pais @pippablackwell 12h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 321
 kay @ anime nyc&@pixel... 10h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 355
 colton fire will reign @danyslilith 12h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 Ok bo0mer
 9 1
 448

 ly.@yladir 17h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 864
 theo he/him @umsushii 17h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 905
 tegan's gf 4 @waspswings 16h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 700
 andyneedstofuckingbreathe @_... 15h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 649
 vic misses elle :(([( @myloveto... 14h
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 ok boomer
 597
 Priv in bio @Kirishimabe... 14h
 Fran
 Replying to @piersmorgan
 silence,
 boomer
 932
 >
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...