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Click, Fire, and Nintendo: You can bind the 'input' event to the textbox. This would fire every time the input changes, so when you paste something (even with right click), delete and type anything 660 $(#my Textbox').on 'input', function () { //do something If you use the change handler, this will only fire after the user deselects the input box, which may not be what you want There is an example of both here: http://jsfiddle.net/66SX6/ share improve this answer answered Oct 9 '12 at 10:21 10.5k 4 26 41 82 This does not work in the Nintendo 3DS browser. The change is not detected even though the input field contains the new string. - Johan Jul 3 '13 at 11:30 I’m glad there are still some people that take cross browser compatibility seriously

Click, Fire, and Nintendo: You can bind the 'input' event to the textbox. This would fire every time the input changes, so when
you paste something (even with right click), delete and type anything
660
$(#my Textbox').on 'input', function () {
//do something
If you use the change handler, this will only fire after the user deselects the input box, which may not
be what you want
There is an example of both here: http://jsfiddle.net/66SX6/
share improve this answer
answered Oct 9 '12 at 10:21
10.5k 4 26 41
82
This does not work in the Nintendo 3DS browser. The change is not detected even though the input field
contains the new string. - Johan Jul 3 '13 at 11:30
I’m glad there are still some people that take cross browser compatibility seriously

Click, Fire, and Nintendo: You can bind the 'input' event to the textbox. This would fire every time the input changes, so when
you paste something (even with right click), delete and type anything
660
$(#my Textbox').on 'input', function () {
//do something
If you use the change handler, this will only fire after the user deselects the input box, which may not
be what you want
There is an example of both here: http://jsfiddle.net/66SX6/
share improve this answer
answered Oct 9 '12 at 10:21
10.5k 4 26 41
82
This does not work in the Nintendo 3DS browser. The change is not detected even though the input field
contains the new string. - Johan Jul 3 '13 at 11:30
I’m glad there are still some people that take cross browser compatibility seriously

I’m glad there are still some people that take cross browser compatibility seriously

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
ALLIGATORS
How To WRESTLE FREE
FROM AN ALLIGATOR
If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
downward pressure on its neck.
This will force its head and jaws down.
2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
This will usually make it more sedate.
5 feet
10 fet
15 feet
20 feet
3 Go for the eyes and nose.
If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
(a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
back off.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
actions cause severe tissue damage.
Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
not begin shaking.
Determine the size of the alligator.
Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
should be considered deadly.
cut or bruise, to treat infection.
Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
water
5 Make a loud noise.
To get an alligator to release sometbing it
bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
move, however, you will have gained its attention.
6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
the object.
The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
An alligator more than nine feet
long is likely to be male, and males
tend to be more aggressive.
space.
Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
human.
will travel
Who Has the Most Bite?
ANIMAL
NUMBER OF TEETH
WARNING!
whale
Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
sharpest teeth in the world)
You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
youngster
lion
30: four canine, four carnassial,
the rest conical
human being
32
sloth bear
40
bear
42, including four canines and
12 incisors
Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
without provocation.
saltwater crocodile
68 to 70
alligator
80 to 88
giant armadillo
up to 100
gavial (fish-eating
crocodile)
102
How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
Approach the alligator from behind.
longspouted spinner up to 252
dolphin
2 Straddle the creature's back
Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
alligator.
up to 3,000 in five rows (the
scariest mouth)
great white shark
3 Crawl your way up to the head.
10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
structures called radulae)
snail
Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
over the eyes of the beast.
GClamp the jaws.
Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
mouth is tightly closed
use to
open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
Z Take out your binding material.
Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
teeth
Wrap the tape
six times around
the snout
Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
nout.
WARNING!
Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
that can be fied and knotted.
Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
Copyrighted Material
seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Shit, Fuck, and How To: ölbaum @oscherler JavaScript makes me want to flip the table and say "Fuck this shit", but I can never be sure what "this" refers to 7:03 AM Oct 30, 2015 Twitterrific for Mac 1.3K Likes 1.2K Retweets > Someone forgot how to bind 😜

Shit, Fuck, and How To: ölbaum
@oscherler
JavaScript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to
7:03 AM Oct 30, 2015 Twitterrific for Mac
1.3K Likes
1.2K Retweets
>
Someone forgot how to bind 😜

Shit, Fuck, and How To: ölbaum
@oscherler
JavaScript makes me want to flip
the table and say "Fuck this shit", but
I can never be sure what "this" refers
to
7:03 AM Oct 30, 2015 Twitterrific for Mac
1.3K Likes
1.2K Retweets
>
Someone forgot how to bind 😜

Someone forgot how to bind 😜

Hello, Target, and Tumblr: Inuyasha! No! What?! You can't bind your chest with bandages! It's dangerous! What else do you expect me to use? LATER Oh... this WORKS! Of course it does! It's a binder! Neat. I'll wear this "binder" FOREVER! INUYASHA! NO! doodlesdesindles: hello yes i am here for the trans headcanon?????????????????????

Hello, Target, and Tumblr: Inuyasha! No!
What?!
You can't bind your
chest with bandages!
It's dangerous!
What else do you
expect me to use?
LATER
Oh... this WORKS!
Of course it does! It's
a binder!
Neat.
I'll wear this "binder"
FOREVER!
INUYASHA! NO!
doodlesdesindles:

hello yes i am here for the trans headcanon?????????????????????

Hello, Target, and Tumblr: Inuyasha! No!
What?!
You can't bind your
chest with bandages!
It's dangerous!
What else do you
expect me to use?
LATER
Oh... this WORKS!
Of course it does! It's
a binder!
Neat.
I'll wear this "binder"
FOREVER!
INUYASHA! NO!
doodlesdesindles:

hello yes i am here for the trans headcanon?????????????????????

doodlesdesindles: hello yes i am here for the trans headcanon?????????????????????

Crime, Saw, and Daredevil: MISTER DAREDEVIL! COME QUICK! HELP ME JUST A FEW MORE STEPS LITTLE GIRL HEY, AMISTER! I COULD HAVE SWORNI SAW YOU PUSH A KIO DOWN THAT SHAFT! 22 24 NOT YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN, MA'AM. HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THAT I'M BIND! THUNK Daredevil’s Perfect Crime

Crime, Saw, and Daredevil: MISTER DAREDEVIL!
COME QUICK! HELP ME
JUST A FEW
MORE STEPS
LITTLE GIRL
HEY, AMISTER! I COULD
HAVE SWORNI SAW YOU
PUSH A KIO DOWN THAT
SHAFT!
22 24
NOT
YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN,
MA'AM. HOW COULD I HAVE
DONE THAT I'M BIND!
THUNK
Daredevil’s Perfect Crime

Crime, Saw, and Daredevil: MISTER DAREDEVIL!
COME QUICK! HELP ME
JUST A FEW
MORE STEPS
LITTLE GIRL
HEY, AMISTER! I COULD
HAVE SWORNI SAW YOU
PUSH A KIO DOWN THAT
SHAFT!
22 24
NOT
YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN,
MA'AM. HOW COULD I HAVE
DONE THAT I'M BIND!
THUNK
Daredevil’s Perfect Crime

Daredevil’s Perfect Crime

Drinking, Jay, and Twitter: JAY @LifeOf Jay98 Y'all snort coke and are alcoholics but drinking cow milk is where you draw the ine Bind boggling (credit and consent @LifeOfJay98 on Twitter)

Drinking, Jay, and Twitter: JAY
@LifeOf Jay98
Y'all snort coke and are alcoholics but
drinking cow milk is where you draw the
ine
Bind boggling (credit and consent @LifeOfJay98 on Twitter)

Drinking, Jay, and Twitter: JAY
@LifeOf Jay98
Y'all snort coke and are alcoholics but
drinking cow milk is where you draw the
ine
Bind boggling (credit and consent @LifeOfJay98 on Twitter)

Bind boggling (credit and consent @LifeOfJay98 on Twitter)

Sorry, Tumblr, and Blog: Throckmorton @Chibburs Sorry, my cousin who EXAMPLE 7.4 SPEED AT THE Your cousin Throckmorton skateboar frictionless ramp. If we treat Throcky ticle, he moves through a quarter-cir (Fig. 7.9, next page). Throcky and his of 250 ko (a) Bind his speed at the b tredlocity: teathattast: Throckmorton Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

Sorry, Tumblr, and Blog: Throckmorton
@Chibburs
Sorry, my cousin who
EXAMPLE 7.4
SPEED AT THE
Your cousin Throckmorton skateboar
frictionless ramp. If we treat Throcky
ticle, he moves through a quarter-cir
(Fig. 7.9, next page). Throcky and his
of 250 ko (a) Bind his speed at the b
tredlocity:
teathattast:
Throckmorton
Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

Sorry, Tumblr, and Blog: Throckmorton
@Chibburs
Sorry, my cousin who
EXAMPLE 7.4
SPEED AT THE
Your cousin Throckmorton skateboar
frictionless ramp. If we treat Throcky
ticle, he moves through a quarter-cir
(Fig. 7.9, next page). Throcky and his
of 250 ko (a) Bind his speed at the b
tredlocity:
teathattast:
Throckmorton
Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

tredlocity: teathattast: Throckmorton Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

Club, Tumblr, and Blog: Active Soaring Wings Long and narrow. Excellent for soaring flying without flapping) over water as long as wind currents are favorable Passive Soaring Wings Long and broad wings ending in long primary feathers with wide gaps in between. These slots help the bind take advantage of columns of rising hot air, allowing it to soar without reliable wind currents. Elliptical Wings Optimized for bursts of fast, tightly controlled flight. Excellent at taking off quickly, maneuvering through branches, and avoiding predators. Ordinary flight is slow and sually requires flapping. High-Speed Wings Medium-long and narrow, optimized for sustained speed. Hovering Wings Small relative to body size. Excellent for tightly controlled flight and hovering. Articulates mostly at the shoulder rather than the wrist. O Primary feathers Secondary feathers Primary coverts Secondary coverts Wing Shale Marginal coverts Scapulars Alithographica laughoutloud-club: Understanding wings

Club, Tumblr, and Blog: Active Soaring Wings
Long and narrow. Excellent for soaring
flying without flapping) over water as
long as wind currents are favorable
Passive Soaring Wings
Long and broad wings ending in long
primary feathers with wide gaps in
between. These slots help the bind
take advantage of columns of rising
hot air, allowing it to soar without
reliable wind currents.
Elliptical Wings
Optimized for bursts of fast, tightly
controlled flight. Excellent at taking off
quickly, maneuvering through
branches, and avoiding predators.
Ordinary flight is slow and sually
requires flapping.
High-Speed Wings
Medium-long and narrow, optimized
for sustained speed.
Hovering Wings
Small relative to body size. Excellent
for tightly controlled flight and
hovering. Articulates mostly at the
shoulder rather than the wrist.
O Primary feathers
Secondary feathers
Primary coverts
Secondary coverts
Wing Shale
Marginal coverts
Scapulars
Alithographica
laughoutloud-club:

Understanding wings

Club, Tumblr, and Blog: Active Soaring Wings
Long and narrow. Excellent for soaring
flying without flapping) over water as
long as wind currents are favorable
Passive Soaring Wings
Long and broad wings ending in long
primary feathers with wide gaps in
between. These slots help the bind
take advantage of columns of rising
hot air, allowing it to soar without
reliable wind currents.
Elliptical Wings
Optimized for bursts of fast, tightly
controlled flight. Excellent at taking off
quickly, maneuvering through
branches, and avoiding predators.
Ordinary flight is slow and sually
requires flapping.
High-Speed Wings
Medium-long and narrow, optimized
for sustained speed.
Hovering Wings
Small relative to body size. Excellent
for tightly controlled flight and
hovering. Articulates mostly at the
shoulder rather than the wrist.
O Primary feathers
Secondary feathers
Primary coverts
Secondary coverts
Wing Shale
Marginal coverts
Scapulars
Alithographica
laughoutloud-club:

Understanding wings

laughoutloud-club: Understanding wings

Medieval, Witch, and Her: When the witch pleads on not guilty so you bind her to a rock and throw her into the lake to see if she was right cabbygat Medieval problems require medieval solutions

Medieval, Witch, and Her: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions

Medieval, Witch, and Her: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions

Club, Tumblr, and Blog: Active Soaring Wings Long and narrow. Excellent for soaring flying without flapping) over water as long as wind currents are favorable Passive Soaring Wings Long and broad wings ending in long primary feathers with wide gaps in between. These slots help the bind take advantage of columns of rising hot air, allowing it to soar without reliable wind currents. Elliptical Wings Optimized for bursts of fast, tightly controlled flight. Excellent at taking off quickly, maneuvering through branches, and avoiding predators. Ordinary flight is slow and sually requires flapping. High-Speed Wings Medium-long and narrow, optimized for sustained speed. Hovering Wings Small relative to body size. Excellent for tightly controlled flight and hovering. Articulates mostly at the shoulder rather than the wrist. O Primary feathers Secondary feathers Primary coverts Secondary coverts Wing Shale Marginal coverts Scapulars Alithographica laughoutloud-club: Understanding wings

Club, Tumblr, and Blog: Active Soaring Wings
Long and narrow. Excellent for soaring
flying without flapping) over water as
long as wind currents are favorable
Passive Soaring Wings
Long and broad wings ending in long
primary feathers with wide gaps in
between. These slots help the bind
take advantage of columns of rising
hot air, allowing it to soar without
reliable wind currents.
Elliptical Wings
Optimized for bursts of fast, tightly
controlled flight. Excellent at taking off
quickly, maneuvering through
branches, and avoiding predators.
Ordinary flight is slow and sually
requires flapping.
High-Speed Wings
Medium-long and narrow, optimized
for sustained speed.
Hovering Wings
Small relative to body size. Excellent
for tightly controlled flight and
hovering. Articulates mostly at the
shoulder rather than the wrist.
O Primary feathers
Secondary feathers
Primary coverts
Secondary coverts
Wing Shale
Marginal coverts
Scapulars
Alithographica
laughoutloud-club:

Understanding wings

Club, Tumblr, and Blog: Active Soaring Wings
Long and narrow. Excellent for soaring
flying without flapping) over water as
long as wind currents are favorable
Passive Soaring Wings
Long and broad wings ending in long
primary feathers with wide gaps in
between. These slots help the bind
take advantage of columns of rising
hot air, allowing it to soar without
reliable wind currents.
Elliptical Wings
Optimized for bursts of fast, tightly
controlled flight. Excellent at taking off
quickly, maneuvering through
branches, and avoiding predators.
Ordinary flight is slow and sually
requires flapping.
High-Speed Wings
Medium-long and narrow, optimized
for sustained speed.
Hovering Wings
Small relative to body size. Excellent
for tightly controlled flight and
hovering. Articulates mostly at the
shoulder rather than the wrist.
O Primary feathers
Secondary feathers
Primary coverts
Secondary coverts
Wing Shale
Marginal coverts
Scapulars
Alithographica
laughoutloud-club:

Understanding wings

laughoutloud-club: Understanding wings

Dank, Memes, and Tumblr: When the witch pleads on not guilty so you bind her to a rock and throw her into the lake to see if she was right cabbygat Medieval problems require medieval solutions danktoday: MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama MORE MEMES

Dank, Memes, and Tumblr: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
danktoday:

MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama
MORE MEMES

Dank, Memes, and Tumblr: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
danktoday:

MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama
MORE MEMES

danktoday: MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama MORE MEMES

Medieval, Witch, and Her: When the witch pleads on not guilty so you bind her to a rock and throw her into the lake to see if she was right cabbygat Medieval problems require medieval solutions MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs

Medieval, Witch, and Her: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs

Medieval, Witch, and Her: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs

MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs

Memes, Medieval, and Witch: When the witch pleads on not guilty so you bind her to a rock and throw her into the lake to see if she was right cabbygat Medieval problems require medieval solutions MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2Er1IpZ

Memes, Medieval, and Witch: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2Er1IpZ

Memes, Medieval, and Witch: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2Er1IpZ

MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2Er1IpZ

Dank, Memes, and Target: When the witch pleads on not guilty so you bind her to a rock and throw her into the lake to see if she was right cabbygat Medieval problems require medieval solutions MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama MORE MEMES

Dank, Memes, and Target: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama
MORE MEMES

Dank, Memes, and Target: When the witch pleads on not guilty so
you bind her to a rock and throw her
into the lake to see if she was right
cabbygat
Medieval problems require medieval solutions
MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama
MORE MEMES

MeDeIvAl PrObLeMs by sukyomama MORE MEMES

Tumblr, Blog, and Book: ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL ONE RING TO FIND THEM, ONE RING TO BRING THEM ALL AND IN THE DARKNESS BIND THEM PSEST, NRONG BOOK AGAIN, JOSEPH srsfunny:Wrong Book

Tumblr, Blog, and Book: ONE RING
TO RULE THEM ALL
ONE RING TO FIND THEM,
ONE RING TO BRING THEM ALL
AND IN THE DARKNESS
BIND THEM
PSEST, NRONG
BOOK AGAIN,
JOSEPH
srsfunny:Wrong Book

Tumblr, Blog, and Book: ONE RING
TO RULE THEM ALL
ONE RING TO FIND THEM,
ONE RING TO BRING THEM ALL
AND IN THE DARKNESS
BIND THEM
PSEST, NRONG
BOOK AGAIN,
JOSEPH
srsfunny:Wrong Book

srsfunny:Wrong Book

Run, Cross, and Free: In my mind I run. Cross oceans, wander continents. Free. No walls to bind me, no doors to lock me in. I run and run and run. - R.E.G

Run, Cross, and Free: In my mind I run.
Cross oceans,
wander continents.
Free.
No walls to bind me,
no doors to lock me in.
I run
and run
and run.
- R.E.G

Run, Cross, and Free: In my mind I run.
Cross oceans,
wander continents.
Free.
No walls to bind me,
no doors to lock me in.
I run
and run
and run.
- R.E.G

Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food. By Blossom The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen. We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god? I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up. Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana. Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours. Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar. Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy… “Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily. Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.) Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.” There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason. Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk. Just use superglue. “Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”: This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say: “Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,” what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things. But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike… Hot coals and peanut butter This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start. Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen. You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure. Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive? I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal. But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this. Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing. @ohnofixit I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong. Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet.

Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:

audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.

I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA

leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs,
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…

“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit

I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet.

Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter
spaceorphan18:

sulkingheals:

downtroddendeity:

jacemp3:

monkeysaysficus:

audrey-hepbae:

catchymemes:

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.
By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.

I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA

leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days

Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen.
We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god?
I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up.
Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana.
Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the
milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which
settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs,
leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours.
Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar.
Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy…

“Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily.
Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.)
Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.”
There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason.
Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk.
Just use superglue.
“Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”:
This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say:
“Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,”
what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and
fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things.
But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike…
Hot coals and peanut butter
This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start.
Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen.
You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure.
Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive?
I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal.
But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this.
Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing.
@ohnofixit

I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong.

Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet.

spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you c...

Fast, All, and Real: when it fals like tu fast aslup and yair th hally real and ou bind sf 乢out all oeaue or now it

Fast, All, and Real: when it fals like tu
fast aslup and yair th
hally real and ou bind sf
乢out all
oeaue or now it

Fast, All, and Real: when it fals like tu
fast aslup and yair th
hally real and ou bind sf
乢out all
oeaue or now it

Faith, Back, and Her: will on bind myanic rene thou s bring back w certain engines of is limit Fof tisn st shou thy faith no Bo i well and albeir her, wero fan t her that he mipt carry away o other bhy xite lo, as quickliest he might, e he abode some days and inf her sofily up again, albeit. by her side: however, for that be had heard he

Faith, Back, and Her: will on bind myanic rene thou s
bring back w
certain engines of is
limit Fof tisn
st shou thy faith no
Bo i well and albeir
her, wero fan
t her that he mipt carry away
o other bhy xite
lo, as quickliest he might,
e he abode some days and inf
her sofily up again, albeit.
by her side: however, for that be had heard he

Faith, Back, and Her: will on bind myanic rene thou s
bring back w
certain engines of is
limit Fof tisn
st shou thy faith no
Bo i well and albeir
her, wero fan
t her that he mipt carry away
o other bhy xite
lo, as quickliest he might,
e he abode some days and inf
her sofily up again, albeit.
by her side: however, for that be had heard he

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Don't Bind Your Legs!
ONLY
S1995
Exclusive Gusset in the crotch allows same
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rate uniforms.
In White, Black, Red
or Blue Denim: Lace-
up front standard. Add
$2.00 for zipper sty le
RY
Card No
MASTER CHARGE□
VISA贂
Expires □ー
□
BJan9
SPARRING
Send height and waist
for proper fit
sizeEQUIPMENT
QUAN-
TITY
DECCRIPTION, COLOR, STYLE, ETC
TOTAL
SIZE
EACH
Send Certified Check, Money Order, or Credit Card Number
SUB TOTAL!
rsonat checks will result in a slight delay
WHOLESALE RATES AVAILABLE Shipping and Handling
Canadian Orders Add 10% TOTAL
$2.65
Century Martial Art Supply
3034 Del View
Del City, OK 73115
To
Phone: (405) 631-9743
jaspurr:

m4ge:

devilduck:

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Fun fact Century still exists and is one of the biggest martial arts suppliers out there. And yes, they do still sell kickin’ jeans.
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9/11, Obama, and Lost: Barack Obama @BarackObama Following We will always remember everyone we lost on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep us safe, and honor all who defend our country and the ideals that bind us together. There's nothing our resilience and resolve can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever change who we are 9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018 3,786 Retweets 11,138 Likes . »眷参団 D.闥金 366 t 3.8K 11K Obama remembers 9/11

9/11, Obama, and Lost: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Following
We will always remember everyone we lost
on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep
us safe, and honor all who defend our
country and the ideals that bind us together.
There's nothing our resilience and resolve
can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever
change who we are
9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018
3,786 Retweets
11,138 Likes
.
»眷参団 D.闥金
366
t 3.8K
11K
Obama remembers 9/11

9/11, Obama, and Lost: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Following
We will always remember everyone we lost
on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep
us safe, and honor all who defend our
country and the ideals that bind us together.
There's nothing our resilience and resolve
can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever
change who we are
9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018
3,786 Retweets
11,138 Likes
.
»眷参団 D.闥金
366
t 3.8K
11K
Obama remembers 9/11

Obama remembers 9/11

9/11, Obama, and Lost: Barack Obama @BarackObama Following We will always remember everyone we lost on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep us safe, and honor all who defend our country and the ideals that bind us together. There's nothing our resilience and resolve can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever change who we are 9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018 3,786 Retweets 11,138 Likes . »眷参団 D.闥金 366 t 3.8K 11K Always remember. Thank you Obama!

9/11, Obama, and Lost: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Following
We will always remember everyone we lost
on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep
us safe, and honor all who defend our
country and the ideals that bind us together.
There's nothing our resilience and resolve
can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever
change who we are
9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018
3,786 Retweets
11,138 Likes
.
»眷参団 D.闥金
366
t 3.8K
11K
Always remember. Thank you Obama!

9/11, Obama, and Lost: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Following
We will always remember everyone we lost
on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep
us safe, and honor all who defend our
country and the ideals that bind us together.
There's nothing our resilience and resolve
can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever
change who we are
9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018
3,786 Retweets
11,138 Likes
.
»眷参団 D.闥金
366
t 3.8K
11K
Always remember. Thank you Obama!

Always remember. Thank you Obama!

9/11, Dank, and Memes: Barack Obama @BarackObama Donald J. Trump @realDonaldirump Follow Follow 17 years since September 11th! We will always remember everyone we lost on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep us 5:58 AM 11 Sep 2018 safe, and honor all who defend our country and the ideals that bind us together. There's nothing our resilience and resolve can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever 10,801 Retweets 41,512 Likes change who we are 6:52 AM 11 Sep 2018 42,921 Retweets 172,435 Likes : 솔솔 92.6K 43K ㅇ 172K Eloquence vs. Irreverence by Zuke020 MORE MEMES

9/11, Dank, and Memes: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldirump
Follow
Follow
17 years since September 11th!
We will always remember everyone we lost on
9/11, thank the first responders who keep us
5:58 AM 11 Sep 2018
safe, and honor all who defend our country
and the ideals that bind us together. There's
nothing our resilience and resolve can't
overcome, and no act of terror can ever
10,801 Retweets 41,512 Likes
change who we are
6:52 AM 11 Sep 2018
42,921 Retweets 172,435 Likes : 솔솔
92.6K 43K ㅇ 172K
Eloquence vs. Irreverence by Zuke020
MORE MEMES

9/11, Dank, and Memes: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldirump
Follow
Follow
17 years since September 11th!
We will always remember everyone we lost on
9/11, thank the first responders who keep us
5:58 AM 11 Sep 2018
safe, and honor all who defend our country
and the ideals that bind us together. There's
nothing our resilience and resolve can't
overcome, and no act of terror can ever
10,801 Retweets 41,512 Likes
change who we are
6:52 AM 11 Sep 2018
42,921 Retweets 172,435 Likes : 솔솔
92.6K 43K ㅇ 172K
Eloquence vs. Irreverence by Zuke020
MORE MEMES

Eloquence vs. Irreverence by Zuke020 MORE MEMES

9/11, Dank, and Memes: Barack Obama @BarackObama Following We will always remember everyone we lost on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep us safe, and honor all who defend our country and the ideals that bind us together. There's nothing our resilience and resolve can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever change who we are 9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018 3,786 Retweets 11,138 Likes . »眷参団 D.闥金 366 t 3.8K 11K Obama remembers 9/11 by gangbangkang MORE MEMES

9/11, Dank, and Memes: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Following
We will always remember everyone we lost
on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep
us safe, and honor all who defend our
country and the ideals that bind us together.
There's nothing our resilience and resolve
can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever
change who we are
9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018
3,786 Retweets
11,138 Likes
.
»眷参団 D.闥金
366
t 3.8K
11K
Obama remembers 9/11 by gangbangkang
MORE MEMES

9/11, Dank, and Memes: Barack Obama
@BarackObama
Following
We will always remember everyone we lost
on 9/11, thank the first responders who keep
us safe, and honor all who defend our
country and the ideals that bind us together.
There's nothing our resilience and resolve
can't overcome, and no act of terror can ever
change who we are
9:52 AM -11 Sep 2018
3,786 Retweets
11,138 Likes
.
»眷参団 D.闥金
366
t 3.8K
11K
Obama remembers 9/11 by gangbangkang
MORE MEMES

Obama remembers 9/11 by gangbangkang MORE MEMES

America, Fucking, and Shakira: STARBUCKS IS NOW OFFERING THESE FREE ISLAMIC DONUTS TO YOUR KIDS THE TEXT CALLS FOR SHAKIRA LAW IN AMERICA Can anyone confirm this? guys.. first of all, that's not islamic because islam is not a language. and it's not arabic because it's clearly in LotR elvish it translates to "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them besides, who of you honestly thought some ditsy starbucks barista is gonna sit there writing out arabic (which they know somehow) on a million donuts and then give them away for free? you bunch of fucking walnuts! # mao #sorry this isn't ship related #but honestly #wtf is wrong with y'all #stop falling for pictures with text on them #read a book #go outside #breath the free air #what in sauron's name are you smoking #because even old toby doesn't make you stupid enough to believe this. See all STRANGEBEAVER.con Shakira Law

America, Fucking, and Shakira: STARBUCKS IS NOW OFFERING THESE
FREE ISLAMIC DONUTS TO YOUR KIDS
THE TEXT CALLS FOR
SHAKIRA LAW IN AMERICA
Can anyone confirm this?
guys..
first of all, that's not islamic because islam is not a language.
and it's not arabic because it's clearly in LotR elvish
it translates to "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring
to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
besides, who of you honestly thought some ditsy starbucks barista is
gonna sit there writing out arabic (which they know somehow) on a million
donuts and then give them away for free?
you bunch of fucking walnuts!
# mao #sorry this isn't ship related #but honestly #wtf is wrong with y'all
#stop falling for pictures with text on them #read a book #go outside
#breath the free air #what in sauron's name are you smoking
#because even old toby doesn't make you stupid enough to believe this. See all
STRANGEBEAVER.con
Shakira Law

America, Fucking, and Shakira: STARBUCKS IS NOW OFFERING THESE
FREE ISLAMIC DONUTS TO YOUR KIDS
THE TEXT CALLS FOR
SHAKIRA LAW IN AMERICA
Can anyone confirm this?
guys..
first of all, that's not islamic because islam is not a language.
and it's not arabic because it's clearly in LotR elvish
it translates to "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring
to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
besides, who of you honestly thought some ditsy starbucks barista is
gonna sit there writing out arabic (which they know somehow) on a million
donuts and then give them away for free?
you bunch of fucking walnuts!
# mao #sorry this isn't ship related #but honestly #wtf is wrong with y'all
#stop falling for pictures with text on them #read a book #go outside
#breath the free air #what in sauron's name are you smoking
#because even old toby doesn't make you stupid enough to believe this. See all
STRANGEBEAVER.con
Shakira Law

Shakira Law

Ali, Fucking, and God: windycube nebluus Follow vampireapologist You all, fools: *getting tattoos based on the ancient tattoos they find on bog mummies and the other ancient dead that for all you know will bind you to a forgotten god that now by ali rights has a claim on your life for better or for worsex Me, and intellectual: xdoesnt fucking do that* steadfast A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself. silver-boots Bog mummy take the wheel Source: vampireapologist 19,391 notes Bog fools

Ali, Fucking, and God: windycube
nebluus Follow
vampireapologist
You all, fools: *getting tattoos
based on the ancient tattoos they
find on bog mummies and the other
ancient dead that for all you know
will bind you to a forgotten god
that now by ali rights has a claim
on your life for better or for
worsex
Me, and intellectual: xdoesnt
fucking do that*
steadfast
A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse
than I am currently running it myself.
silver-boots
Bog mummy take the wheel
Source: vampireapologist
19,391 notes
Bog fools

Ali, Fucking, and God: windycube
nebluus Follow
vampireapologist
You all, fools: *getting tattoos
based on the ancient tattoos they
find on bog mummies and the other
ancient dead that for all you know
will bind you to a forgotten god
that now by ali rights has a claim
on your life for better or for
worsex
Me, and intellectual: xdoesnt
fucking do that*
steadfast
A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse
than I am currently running it myself.
silver-boots
Bog mummy take the wheel
Source: vampireapologist
19,391 notes
Bog fools

Bog fools

Infinity, Will, and All: The Infinity Chancla Will Bind Us All

Infinity, Will, and All: The Infinity Chancla Will Bind Us All

Infinity, Will, and All: The Infinity Chancla Will Bind Us All

The Infinity Chancla Will Bind Us All

Han Solo, Mark Hamill, and Soon...: Mark Hamill @HamillHimself Leia was no"damsel in distress" She grabbed a gun-Took charge of her own rescue & made me & Han both look like chumps! #SWisaGirlThingToo Tweet your reply boob-a-chu: thatjedirey: altairdefiren: thatjedirey: MARK HAMILL DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SEXIST BULLSHIT She was put in the most vulnerable position, nearly naked, chained, surrounded by dangerous bounty hunters. What does she do?Plays along, lets Jabba think he’s beaten her, and as soon as she gets her opening? She chokes him to death with the very chain he used to bind her. Leia is an idol. Leia is a hero. Reblogging my own post for this comment. ❤️ Yeah, the only Damsel in Distress in the middle trilogy was Han Solo.

Han Solo, Mark Hamill, and Soon...: Mark Hamill
@HamillHimself
Leia was no"damsel in distress"
She grabbed a gun-Took charge
of her own rescue & made me &
Han both look like chumps!
#SWisaGirlThingToo
Tweet your reply
boob-a-chu:
thatjedirey:

altairdefiren:

thatjedirey:
MARK HAMILL DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SEXIST BULLSHIT
She was put in the most vulnerable position, nearly naked, chained, surrounded by dangerous bounty hunters. What does she do?Plays along, lets Jabba think he’s beaten her, and as soon as she gets her opening? She chokes him to death with the very chain he used to bind her.

Leia is an idol. Leia is a hero.

Reblogging my own post for this comment. ❤️

Yeah, the only Damsel in Distress in the middle trilogy was Han Solo.

Han Solo, Mark Hamill, and Soon...: Mark Hamill
@HamillHimself
Leia was no"damsel in distress"
She grabbed a gun-Took charge
of her own rescue & made me &
Han both look like chumps!
#SWisaGirlThingToo
Tweet your reply
boob-a-chu:
thatjedirey:

altairdefiren:

thatjedirey:
MARK HAMILL DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SEXIST BULLSHIT
She was put in the most vulnerable position, nearly naked, chained, surrounded by dangerous bounty hunters. What does she do?Plays along, lets Jabba think he’s beaten her, and as soon as she gets her opening? She chokes him to death with the very chain he used to bind her.

Leia is an idol. Leia is a hero.

Reblogging my own post for this comment. ❤️

Yeah, the only Damsel in Distress in the middle trilogy was Han Solo.

boob-a-chu: thatjedirey: altairdefiren: thatjedirey: MARK HAMILL DOESN’T HAVE TIME FOR YOUR SEXIST BULLSHIT She was put in the most vulne...

Be Like, Beautiful, and Drinking: H, HAHAL! CANNOT BELIEvE THE ER MARRYING AN ELF NO LESS! AYE SUCH BEAU, WASTED ON İRST THEIR DAMN KIND THE SINGLE TIME THEY MANAGE TO SEDUCE ONE OF OUR O WN ELVEN EYES IT BE GHM THE RAVISHING 6 HM nyodrite: fozmeadows: words-writ-in-starlight: jam-art: thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he married The Supermodel dwarf and singlehandedly crushed the hopes of single dwarves and dwarrowdams everywhere this is my headcanon and you will never take it from me. listen, just Listen for a second, okay. Gimli Gloinul is from the line of Durin okay, he’s from the line of KINGS, his bloodline stands up against Legolas’ perfectly, if the elves and dwarves got their shit together for a hot second they would be like “YES, PERFECT, A DIPLOMATIC MARRIAGE TO BIND OUR HOUSES TOGETHER AND NEVER SHALL THE TWAIN THROW ONE ANOTHER TO DRAGONS…again.” because you have a king’s son and a king’s nephew which, well, I love Dain but he’s not an EREBOR KING and GIMLI IS FROM THE FAMILY OF EREBOR KINGS. And Gimli acts like he’s from the line of Erebor kings, too, okay, he’s a diplomat and a warrior and a nobleman, he’s the sort of person who SAYS things like ‘faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens’ and stares down Elrond Peredhil in his own home when his strength and faith are questioned. And he’s the kind of person who swears his allegiance to people he barely knows because it’s Right and Good and Gimli knows it. And Thorin Oakenshield was handsome, and his sister the lady Dis is beautiful, and Gimli’s cousins Fili and Kili were fine young dwarrows, and Gimli’s mother is a great beauty. Basically my point here is that Gimli, proud strong gimli with his firebeard hair and bold laugh and mithril tongue and clever fingers, broke the hearts of everyone in Erebor and not a few people outside of Erebor when he married a goddamn elf. Like. Not even Arwen Undomiel (WHO MARRIED A GODDAMN HUMAN, it’s been a weird couple of years in Middle-Earth, everyone wonders strongly if they’ve been drinking too much). Like he’s not even marrying a great beauty of the elves, Legolas isn’t ugly by elvish standards but also he’s nothing particularly special, and he’s not a great diplomat, and he’s BARELY a king’s son because everyone knows that Mirkwood elves are…a little odd. Legolas is a big cheerful hunter who sings songs he doesn’t remember all of, who chatters to trees and has no sense of the right thing to say even if he’s developed enough self-preservation to know the wrong thing to say, and FOR THE LOVE OF MAHAL HE FIGHTS WITH A BOW. “GIMLI” Gloin bellows “YOU TURNED DOWN THIRTY-TWO SUITORS FROM FINE DWARVISH LINES FOR THIS” “Ignore him, amrâlime, he’ll get over it” Gimli says in amusement as he beckons Legolas over to his forge, where he’s carefully smithing mithril-inlaid gold marriage clasps that will grip fine elvish hair. It’s too hot in the forge to wear shirts, if you’re working. Every dwarf in twenty feet stops what they’re doing to watch Gimli’s biceps flex as he holds up a jewel for Legolas’ inspection. “YOU COULD HAVE HAD A HAREM” Gloin wails from down the hall. #a headcanon I never knew I needed until this very moment @acrossthetallgreenriver

Be Like, Beautiful, and Drinking: H, HAHAL!
CANNOT
BELIEvE
THE
ER
MARRYING
AN
ELF NO
LESS!

AYE
SUCH BEAU,
WASTED ON
İRST THEIR DAMN KIND THE
SINGLE TIME THEY MANAGE
TO SEDUCE ONE OF OUR O WN
ELVEN EYES
IT BE GHM THE RAVISHING
6

HM
nyodrite:

fozmeadows:

words-writ-in-starlight:

jam-art:
thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he married The Supermodel dwarf and singlehandedly crushed the hopes of single dwarves and dwarrowdams everywhere
this is my headcanon and you will never take it from me.
listen, just Listen for a second, okay.
Gimli Gloinul is from the line of Durin okay, he’s from the line of KINGS, his bloodline stands up against Legolas’ perfectly, if the elves and dwarves got their shit together for a hot second they would be like “YES, PERFECT, A DIPLOMATIC MARRIAGE TO BIND OUR HOUSES TOGETHER AND NEVER SHALL THE TWAIN THROW ONE ANOTHER TO DRAGONS…again.” because you have a king’s son and a king’s nephew which, well, I love Dain but he’s not an EREBOR KING and GIMLI IS FROM THE FAMILY OF EREBOR KINGS.
And Gimli acts like he’s from the line of Erebor kings, too, okay, he’s a diplomat and a warrior and a nobleman, he’s the sort of person who SAYS things like ‘faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens’ and stares down Elrond Peredhil in his own home when his strength and faith are questioned. And he’s the kind of person who swears his allegiance to people he barely knows because it’s Right and Good and Gimli knows it.
And Thorin Oakenshield was handsome, and his sister the lady Dis is beautiful, and Gimli’s cousins Fili and Kili were fine young dwarrows, and Gimli’s mother is a great beauty.
Basically my point here is that Gimli, proud strong gimli with his firebeard hair and bold laugh and mithril tongue and clever fingers, broke the hearts of everyone in Erebor and not a few people outside of Erebor when he married a goddamn elf. Like. Not even Arwen Undomiel (WHO MARRIED A GODDAMN HUMAN, it’s been a weird couple of years in Middle-Earth, everyone wonders strongly if they’ve been drinking too much). Like he’s not even marrying a great beauty of the elves, Legolas isn’t ugly by elvish standards but also he’s nothing particularly special, and he’s not a great diplomat, and he’s BARELY a king’s son because everyone knows that Mirkwood elves are…a little odd. Legolas is a big cheerful hunter who sings songs he doesn’t remember all of, who chatters to trees and has no sense of the right thing to say even if he’s developed enough self-preservation to know the wrong thing to say, and FOR THE LOVE OF MAHAL HE FIGHTS WITH A BOW.
“GIMLI” Gloin bellows “YOU TURNED DOWN THIRTY-TWO SUITORS FROM FINE DWARVISH LINES FOR THIS”
“Ignore him, amrâlime, he’ll get over it” Gimli says in amusement as he beckons Legolas over to his forge, where he’s carefully smithing mithril-inlaid gold marriage clasps that will grip fine elvish hair. It’s too hot in the forge to wear shirts, if you’re working. Every dwarf in twenty feet stops what they’re doing to watch Gimli’s biceps flex as he holds up a jewel for Legolas’ inspection.
“YOU COULD HAVE HAD A HAREM” Gloin wails from down the hall.

#a headcanon I never knew I needed until this very moment

@acrossthetallgreenriver

Be Like, Beautiful, and Drinking: H, HAHAL!
CANNOT
BELIEvE
THE
ER
MARRYING
AN
ELF NO
LESS!

AYE
SUCH BEAU,
WASTED ON
İRST THEIR DAMN KIND THE
SINGLE TIME THEY MANAGE
TO SEDUCE ONE OF OUR O WN
ELVEN EYES
IT BE GHM THE RAVISHING
6

HM
nyodrite:

fozmeadows:

words-writ-in-starlight:

jam-art:
thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he married The Supermodel dwarf and singlehandedly crushed the hopes of single dwarves and dwarrowdams everywhere
this is my headcanon and you will never take it from me.
listen, just Listen for a second, okay.
Gimli Gloinul is from the line of Durin okay, he’s from the line of KINGS, his bloodline stands up against Legolas’ perfectly, if the elves and dwarves got their shit together for a hot second they would be like “YES, PERFECT, A DIPLOMATIC MARRIAGE TO BIND OUR HOUSES TOGETHER AND NEVER SHALL THE TWAIN THROW ONE ANOTHER TO DRAGONS…again.” because you have a king’s son and a king’s nephew which, well, I love Dain but he’s not an EREBOR KING and GIMLI IS FROM THE FAMILY OF EREBOR KINGS.
And Gimli acts like he’s from the line of Erebor kings, too, okay, he’s a diplomat and a warrior and a nobleman, he’s the sort of person who SAYS things like ‘faithless is he who says fairwell when the road darkens’ and stares down Elrond Peredhil in his own home when his strength and faith are questioned. And he’s the kind of person who swears his allegiance to people he barely knows because it’s Right and Good and Gimli knows it.
And Thorin Oakenshield was handsome, and his sister the lady Dis is beautiful, and Gimli’s cousins Fili and Kili were fine young dwarrows, and Gimli’s mother is a great beauty.
Basically my point here is that Gimli, proud strong gimli with his firebeard hair and bold laugh and mithril tongue and clever fingers, broke the hearts of everyone in Erebor and not a few people outside of Erebor when he married a goddamn elf. Like. Not even Arwen Undomiel (WHO MARRIED A GODDAMN HUMAN, it’s been a weird couple of years in Middle-Earth, everyone wonders strongly if they’ve been drinking too much). Like he’s not even marrying a great beauty of the elves, Legolas isn’t ugly by elvish standards but also he’s nothing particularly special, and he’s not a great diplomat, and he’s BARELY a king’s son because everyone knows that Mirkwood elves are…a little odd. Legolas is a big cheerful hunter who sings songs he doesn’t remember all of, who chatters to trees and has no sense of the right thing to say even if he’s developed enough self-preservation to know the wrong thing to say, and FOR THE LOVE OF MAHAL HE FIGHTS WITH A BOW.
“GIMLI” Gloin bellows “YOU TURNED DOWN THIRTY-TWO SUITORS FROM FINE DWARVISH LINES FOR THIS”
“Ignore him, amrâlime, he’ll get over it” Gimli says in amusement as he beckons Legolas over to his forge, where he’s carefully smithing mithril-inlaid gold marriage clasps that will grip fine elvish hair. It’s too hot in the forge to wear shirts, if you’re working. Every dwarf in twenty feet stops what they’re doing to watch Gimli’s biceps flex as he holds up a jewel for Legolas’ inspection.
“YOU COULD HAVE HAD A HAREM” Gloin wails from down the hall.

#a headcanon I never knew I needed until this very moment

@acrossthetallgreenriver

nyodrite: fozmeadows: words-writ-in-starlight: jam-art: thranduil sleeps calmer knowing even if his son married a dwarf at least he marr...

Best, Date, and Sugar: Do not consu before opening. ns: Carbonated Watet, Fructose-Glucose tup Mixed With Sugar, Citric Acid (Corn "Best Before: MM.DD.YYYY When you forget to bind the date to UI

Best, Date, and Sugar: Do not consu
before opening.
ns: Carbonated Watet, Fructose-Glucose
tup Mixed With Sugar, Citric Acid (Corn
"Best Before: MM.DD.YYYY
When you forget to bind the date to UI

Best, Date, and Sugar: Do not consu
before opening.
ns: Carbonated Watet, Fructose-Glucose
tup Mixed With Sugar, Citric Acid (Corn
"Best Before: MM.DD.YYYY
When you forget to bind the date to UI

When you forget to bind the date to UI

Tal, You, and Now: Tow eary marwinas whun it fals like the faut aslup and yoir th mu whos dwake and Maly tal and you bind M bau or nw ts put nów

Tal, You, and Now: Tow eary marwinas
whun it fals like the
faut aslup and yoir th
mu whos dwake and
Maly tal and you bind M
bau or nw ts put
nów

Tal, You, and Now: Tow eary marwinas
whun it fals like the
faut aslup and yoir th
mu whos dwake and
Maly tal and you bind M
bau or nw ts put
nów

Friends, Funny, and God: Brooke 2 god forbid i'm running for senate and they find my fanfic Imao "A milkshake to summon the boys and a cold one to bind them" trying to quench the thirst? Nursey desperately Nursey like. jesus i knew he was funny but damn Nursey this is the boy who kissed me and lowkey destroyed my entire ranking system aceandthediamonddogs: texts from my friends + Elliot and Danny from Sharp Zero

Friends, Funny, and God: Brooke 2
god forbid i'm running for
senate and they find my fanfic
Imao

"A milkshake to summon the
boys and a cold one to bind
them"

trying to quench the thirst?
Nursey
desperately

Nursey
like. jesus
i knew he was funny but
damn

Nursey
this is the boy who kissed me
and lowkey destroyed my
entire ranking system
aceandthediamonddogs:

texts from my friends + Elliot and Danny from Sharp Zero

Friends, Funny, and God: Brooke 2
god forbid i'm running for
senate and they find my fanfic
Imao

"A milkshake to summon the
boys and a cold one to bind
them"

trying to quench the thirst?
Nursey
desperately

Nursey
like. jesus
i knew he was funny but
damn

Nursey
this is the boy who kissed me
and lowkey destroyed my
entire ranking system
aceandthediamonddogs:

texts from my friends + Elliot and Danny from Sharp Zero

aceandthediamonddogs: texts from my friends + Elliot and Danny from Sharp Zero

Anaconda, School, and Power: ne p Out of Order bind a hole Iadded as Well l 0 x), intuse anyone needs O. t added some BRANDLESS to this box Hopefuly汁helps GTRE POWER 100% ORGANIC COTTON TAMPONS. JUST $3. feminin care made Get b with organic cotton where it matters most The kicker? Everything is just 53 Find out more at brandless FEMININE FE NAPKINS TA OTA IS NOT ACCEPTED 4. COIN RETURNED WHEN DISPENSER IS EMPTY wesT west CHemicaL PRODUCTS Inc <p>Tampon dispenser at my school is broken so every now and then someone leaves a few</p>

Anaconda, School, and Power: ne p
Out of Order
bind a hole
Iadded as
Well l
0
x),
intuse anyone needs
O.
t added some
BRANDLESS to this box
Hopefuly汁helps
GTRE POWER
100% ORGANIC
COTTON TAMPONS.
JUST $3.
feminin care made
Get b
with organic cotton where it matters most
The kicker? Everything is just 53
Find out more at brandless
FEMININE FE
NAPKINS TA
OTA
IS NOT ACCEPTED
4. COIN RETURNED WHEN
DISPENSER IS EMPTY
wesT
west CHemicaL PRODUCTS Inc
<p>Tampon dispenser at my school is broken so every now and then someone leaves a few</p>

Anaconda, School, and Power: ne p
Out of Order
bind a hole
Iadded as
Well l
0
x),
intuse anyone needs
O.
t added some
BRANDLESS to this box
Hopefuly汁helps
GTRE POWER
100% ORGANIC
COTTON TAMPONS.
JUST $3.
feminin care made
Get b
with organic cotton where it matters most
The kicker? Everything is just 53
Find out more at brandless
FEMININE FE
NAPKINS TA
OTA
IS NOT ACCEPTED
4. COIN RETURNED WHEN
DISPENSER IS EMPTY
wesT
west CHemicaL PRODUCTS Inc
<p>Tampon dispenser at my school is broken so every now and then someone leaves a few</p>

Tampon dispenser at my school is broken so every now and then someone leaves a few

Marriage, The Lord of the Rings, and Best: athan-pit athan-pit What idiot called it "best man" instead of "lord of the rings" ladymacbetterthanyoo ladymacbetterthanyoo what have you done thedupshadove No, that scared-looking little boy is the Lord of the Rings 86,146 notes Two rings to give when called, and into marriage bind them

Marriage, The Lord of the Rings, and Best: athan-pit athan-pit
What idiot called it "best man"
instead of "lord of the rings"
ladymacbetterthanyoo ladymacbetterthanyoo
what have you done
thedupshadove
No, that scared-looking little boy is the Lord of the Rings
86,146 notes
Two rings to give when called, and into marriage bind them

Marriage, The Lord of the Rings, and Best: athan-pit athan-pit
What idiot called it "best man"
instead of "lord of the rings"
ladymacbetterthanyoo ladymacbetterthanyoo
what have you done
thedupshadove
No, that scared-looking little boy is the Lord of the Rings
86,146 notes
Two rings to give when called, and into marriage bind them

Two rings to give when called, and into marriage bind them

Love, Nintendo, and Phone: This Super Smash Bros has been run over by a truck Shit still works. because its pure nintenadium l love how you step on a diso it snaps in half But if you step on a Nintendo cartridge it won't evan budge Hell you can drop a TV on an N84 and itd probably work even better than before pure nintendium Nintendium is the strongest element known to mankind The only thing stronger than Nintandium is Nakiaum. What if we somehow oombine them both? Whoever got it would be unstoppable han al, One game to tule t one system to find them One phone to bring them al and in the darkness bind them

Love, Nintendo, and Phone: This Super Smash Bros has been
run over by a truck
Shit still works.
because its pure nintenadium
l love how you step on a diso it snaps in half
But if you step on a Nintendo cartridge it won't
evan budge
Hell you can drop a TV on an N84 and itd
probably work even better than before
pure nintendium
Nintendium is the strongest element known to mankind
The only thing stronger than Nintandium is Nakiaum.
What if we somehow oombine them both?
Whoever got it would be unstoppable
han al,
One game to tule t
one system to find them
One phone to bring them al
and in the darkness bind them

Love, Nintendo, and Phone: This Super Smash Bros has been
run over by a truck
Shit still works.
because its pure nintenadium
l love how you step on a diso it snaps in half
But if you step on a Nintendo cartridge it won't
evan budge
Hell you can drop a TV on an N84 and itd
probably work even better than before
pure nintendium
Nintendium is the strongest element known to mankind
The only thing stronger than Nintandium is Nakiaum.
What if we somehow oombine them both?
Whoever got it would be unstoppable
han al,
One game to tule t
one system to find them
One phone to bring them al
and in the darkness bind them