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Get Me Out Of Here

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Growth

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Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATHAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer. He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne. An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney. BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face They hate me for being a bat Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home. BATMAN (CONT 'D) It is just you and I, the Joker Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy BATMAN I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power. THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke. good guy. It contains a meirl
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl

meirl

Fucking, Target, and Tumblr: ewonenaellav: does a little jig so you think im just fucking around then grabs your ankle and begins the descent
Fucking, Target, and Tumblr: ewonenaellav:
does a little jig so you think im just fucking around then grabs your ankle and begins the descent

ewonenaellav: does a little jig so you think im just fucking around then grabs your ankle and begins the descent

Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice. The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.  I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture. This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long. Highlights/Breakdown The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.  the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!” Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all. The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background  Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss” shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit.  “what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures.  When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke Fiona interrupting robin with a kick. the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.  The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef* Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
Ass, Cinderella , and Click: kaylapocalypse:
 ok 
so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you should. Like… if you’re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrek (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesn’t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific. 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being only like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast. 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of “Please! Monster!”
Fiona’s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him around–strength that he disregards which is why hes surprised as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isn’t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the background 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Lore™; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irl not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring like “yikesssss”
shrek’s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into the “saucy little maid” bit. 
“what hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.”  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchanging “wtf” gestures. 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrek’s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement like “wow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unison” which is additionally apart of the above long running joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock. 
The fight after isn’t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.

kaylapocalypse:  ok  so i know what you’re thinking “oh i remember that scene i don’t need to click on the video to recall it”. But you shou...

Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279 be fat >go to /fit/ and find a solution >main problem is i eat like a dumpster apparently things with loads of fiber is going to 211 KB JPG save my filthy soul "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and helps with digestion" go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars the first day i have fiber bars for breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks i dont shit that day next day i fiber myself up even more i dont shit that day either >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in my colon can feel the pounds dropping off because im not very hungry anymore i dont shit the third day >i dont shit the fourth day thefinaldaydawns.mp3 si have my morning coffee and feel my insides rumble in that familiar way the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me it's whistling just a thin, continuous airstream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin >no sound other than the whistling hiss suddenly stops the hole is plugged SOS >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson >hang on to the shower curtain and pray the rock is shot out of my asshole at mach speed >my entire ass is covered in toilet water >now the fun begins a fart that could do more damage to thee ozone layer than aerosol ever did is shooting shit bullets out of me solid and prefectly round nuggets the smell is killing me blacking out the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber flatulence is giving me war flashbacks iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg my guts are yelling in german sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly most of the shit isn't even digested at this point just forced out by all the gas that had been building up to my throat after an hour it finally seems to be over sim shivering and crying both legs collapse as i try to stand up >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet gondorcallsforaid.rar shakily wipe my ass completely clean feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts gondorcallsforaid.rar I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face If I have to read this, so do you. This is funnier than it should be Omfg
Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg

feniczoroark: larjmarge: itsperegrine: the-mighty-birdy: carolina-viking: th3laugh1ngt0mat0: carolina-viking: Holy fucking shit I CAN...

Bad, Head, and Iron Man: saltyaboutfictionalcharacters: sam-falcon-wilson: cyclesofthemoon: professionallyprocrastinating: antisolanum: teameveryonebutironman: i-love-tony-stark: sam-falcon-wilson: I need to talk about this scene. This scene actually, physically hurt me when I watched it in theaters, and cemented Iron Man as a bad guy in my head. Sam Wilson saw his friend get shot out of the air. He was too late to save him; he watched his wingman die, and he was powerless to do anything. So imagine how he feels when the shot that was meant to hit him hits Rhodey, who begins to plummet towards the ground. He immediately dives after him with zero hesitation, but he’s just not fast enough. He even apologizes to Tony, although he has nothing to apologize for. And do you know what Tony does? He shoots him. Point blank. I don’t care if Tony didn’t know about Riley. It doesn’t matter. Sam Wilson just risked his life going after Rhodey, probably having flashbacks the entire way down, and he fails. Again. And Tony doesn’t care. He shoots him, and he’s so close that the force of the shot sends Sam somersaulting backwards. Sam did nothing to injure Rhodey in any way, and even tries to help, and Tony. Fricking. S h o o t s. H i m. How can you support or stan this disgusting man? Also, if I recall correctly, Sam Wilson served as a pararescue airman. That means he’s a trained medic, he could have helped Rhodey and probably would have if Tony hadn’t shot him point blank in the chest. Yeah, either tony is that much of an asshole that he didn’t bother to get to know Sam despite him being part of the team for two years or he’s that much of an asshole that he shot a trained medic in the chest. And let’s not forget that using a repulsor blast that powerful, powerful enough to throw him back like he was shot with a shotgun, at relatively close range, on a target with no power armor (and no the falcon suit doesn’t count, it’s for flight not protection) could easily have killed him. Shock, cracking his head on the ground, stopping his heart from the force, that could have killed him. I mean, sam’s a tough cookie, but that wasn’t “the hulk punching thor after the battle because he didn’t forget about his insult from earlier, but they both know he’s gonna be alright” it’s “Tony is so selfish that he is willing to potentially kill sam because he hurt rhodey” Despite all of this, Sam’s first words to Tony, after being imprisoned thanks to him, is “How is Rhodes?” Concern for a former team-mate is still foremost in his mind, despite the fact that going back to help, rather than following Steve and Bucky to help them in Siberia, is what landed Sam in the Raft. Then Sam turns around, and we see that half of his face is one massive bruise, and he is moving slowly. Yeah, no, that is never going to be justifiable. … Also, what is to say that Rhodey’s injuries weren’t made worse by Tony’s attempts to help, since the guy with medical training was injured and potentially unconscious thanks to Iron Man ‘getting angry and reacting’. Sam Wilson wasn’t offering to help. Sam Wilson was standing there, looking at him, and the guy with PTSD and trust issues properly assumed that the fucker would take another shot. Like, you’re expecting him to think clearly? Why would he react any other way? Yeah, I expect him to think clearly. He’s an adult. Cut it out with the PTSD defense; just because someone has a mental illness like that doesn’t excuse their actions. Sam also has PTSD. He was probably having a vivid flashback to the time his friend died in front of him in much the same way. So, excuse him for sitting there, reliving all his past mistakes, beating himself up because maybe if he has been faster, or if he had done this or that, Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed. Get the hell off my post with your gross Tonky defense and cry to someone who cares, because I don’t. plus, sam did nothing to rhodey. all he did was dodge a shot from vision that would have killed him if it connected. he has no protection in his flight gear so if he fell from the height that rhodey did he would have died. Tony shot him for not allowing himself to be killed, even when he was apologizing and could have helped rhodey. tony stark is trash.
Bad, Head, and Iron Man: saltyaboutfictionalcharacters:

sam-falcon-wilson:

cyclesofthemoon:


professionallyprocrastinating:

antisolanum:

teameveryonebutironman:

i-love-tony-stark:


sam-falcon-wilson:


I need to talk about this scene. This scene actually, physically hurt me when I watched it in theaters, and cemented Iron Man as a bad guy in my head.

Sam Wilson saw his friend get shot out of the air. He was too late to save him; he watched his wingman die, and he was powerless to do anything.

So imagine how he feels when the shot that was meant to hit him hits Rhodey, who begins to plummet towards the ground. He immediately dives after him with zero hesitation, but he’s just not fast enough. He even apologizes to Tony, although he has nothing to apologize for.

And do you know what Tony does?

He shoots him. Point blank.

I don’t care if Tony didn’t know about Riley. It doesn’t matter. Sam Wilson just risked his life going after Rhodey, probably having flashbacks the entire way down, and he fails. Again.

And Tony doesn’t care. He shoots him, and he’s so close that the force of the shot sends Sam somersaulting backwards.

Sam did nothing to injure Rhodey in any way, and even tries to help, and Tony. Fricking. S h o o t s. H i m.

How can you support or stan this disgusting man?


Also, if I recall correctly, Sam Wilson served as a pararescue airman. That means he’s a trained medic, he could have helped Rhodey and probably would have if Tony hadn’t shot him point blank in the chest.


Yeah, either tony is that much of an asshole that he didn’t bother to get to know Sam despite him being part of the team for two years or he’s that much of an asshole that he shot a trained medic in the chest. 


And let’s not forget that using a repulsor blast that powerful, powerful enough to throw him back like he was shot with a shotgun, at relatively close range, on a target with no power armor (and no the falcon suit doesn’t count, it’s for flight not protection) could easily have killed him. Shock, cracking his head on the ground, stopping his heart from the force, that could have killed him. I mean, sam’s a tough cookie, but that wasn’t “the hulk punching thor after the battle because he didn’t forget about his insult from earlier, but they both know he’s gonna be alright” it’s “Tony is so selfish that he is willing to potentially kill sam because he hurt rhodey”

Despite all of this, Sam’s first words to Tony, after being imprisoned thanks to him, is “How is Rhodes?”
Concern for a former team-mate is still foremost in his mind, despite the fact that going back to help, rather than following Steve and Bucky to help them in Siberia, is what landed Sam in the Raft.
Then Sam turns around, and we see that half of his face is one massive bruise, and he is moving slowly.
Yeah, no, that is never going to be justifiable.
…
Also, what is to say that Rhodey’s injuries weren’t made worse by Tony’s attempts to help, since the guy with medical training was injured and potentially unconscious thanks to Iron Man ‘getting angry and reacting’.


Sam Wilson wasn’t offering to help. Sam Wilson was standing there, looking at him, and the guy with PTSD and trust issues properly assumed that the fucker would take another shot. 

Like, you’re expecting him to think clearly? Why would he react any other way? 


Yeah, I expect him to think clearly. He’s an adult. Cut it out with the PTSD defense; just because someone has a mental illness like that doesn’t excuse their actions.
Sam also has PTSD. He was probably having a vivid flashback to the time his friend died in front of him in much the same way. So, excuse him for sitting there, reliving all his past mistakes, beating himself up because maybe if he has been faster, or if he had done this or that, Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed.
Get the hell off my post with your gross Tonky defense and cry to someone who cares, because I don’t. 

plus, sam did nothing to rhodey. all he did was dodge a shot from vision that would have killed him if it connected. he has no protection in his flight gear so if he fell from the height that rhodey did he would have died. Tony shot him for not allowing himself to be killed, even when he was apologizing and could have helped rhodey. tony stark is trash.

saltyaboutfictionalcharacters: sam-falcon-wilson: cyclesofthemoon: professionallyprocrastinating: antisolanum: teameveryonebutironman:...