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Become: At 16 I have become the first person in human history to perform in Carnegie Hall with Lightning McQueen socks
Become: At 16 I have become the first person in human history to perform in Carnegie Hall with Lightning McQueen socks

At 16 I have become the first person in human history to perform in Carnegie Hall with Lightning McQueen socks

Become: twitblr: It’s never too late to become who you want to be.
Become: twitblr:

It’s never too late to become who you want to be.

twitblr: It’s never too late to become who you want to be.

Become: It’s never too late to become who you want to be.
Become: It’s never too late to become who you want to be.

It’s never too late to become who you want to be.

Become: He then proceeded to become a millionaire
Become: He then proceeded to become a millionaire

He then proceeded to become a millionaire

Become: awesomacious: Become a creature repair expert
Become: awesomacious:

Become a creature repair expert

awesomacious: Become a creature repair expert

Become: He then proceeded to become a millionaire
Become: He then proceeded to become a millionaire

He then proceeded to become a millionaire

Become: When bugs become features
Become: When bugs become features

When bugs become features

Become: blackwitchmagicwoman: auroraluciferi: askmace: scholarlyapproach: DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!! Listen in the past the poor have had to improvise cheap food the rich never wanted as a means to survive. And over the many years of innovation made the food taste good until eventually the rich where like: “Oh hay you actually like that garbage? Why on earth would you like it?” Then they try it, love it, start buying it, and then drive the price up so much it becomes a luxury good. They do this and its devastating, the food typically never becomes affordable again. It don’t matter how cheap the foo dis to produce, it doesn’t matter if there is almost no meat on the bone or its super difficult to eat and messy. Once the poor discover how to make some bit of cheap food taste good, the rich take it away via driving the price of it up. THEY DID THIS TO RIBS. Ribs were garage meat. Just look at them, there is hardly any meat on the bone, you have to eat them by hand usually, and they are messy. They where an undesirable cheap source of junk meat. But the poor being the poor made them taste good. (Because they don’t have much to choose from.) The rich discovered the meals the poor made with them and decided they liked ribs too. People discovered they could sell a few ribs to rich people and make way more money then selling lots of ribs to poor people and the price was driven up. DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!! They did the same to brisket.  You used to be able to get brisket for less than a dollar a pound, which meant you could get a twenty pound brisket fairly cheaply.  And then you smoked it, sliced it, and had meat for weeks if not a full month.  And it was tasty.  I grew up eating brisket at least once a month because my family could afford it. It was a cheap meat because no rich person looks at the dangly part of the neck of a cow and goes ‘ooh, that looks tasty!’. But then Food Network started showcasing things like barbecued brisket.  Rich people started showing up at places that weren’t just Rib Crib to get their barbeque.  And the price of brisket went up.  A lot. I regularly see it for over five dollars a pound in stores now.  And while yeah, that might not seem like a lot when you’re talking only a pound or two of meat, brisket is normally sold in ten to twenty pound sizes.  It’s become completely unaffordable to the people that made it delicious. Sushi used to be really cheap, too, until it became ‘trendy’.  Guess why you’re now paying twelve dollars for your order of California rolls?  Because rich people discovered something that poor people had been eating for ages. Noticed the prices of fajita meat, chicken thighs, or ham hocks has gone up recently?  You guessed it.  Rich people are taking our food and now we’re scrambling to afford the things that we grew up eating. Lobster is a perfect example of this phenomenon. For hundreds of years, lobster was regarded as a sort of insect larvae from the depth of the sea. It had zero appeal as a “luxury food” until people living in NY and Boston developed a taste for it. Before the 19th century, it was considered a “poverty food” or used as fertilizer and bait - some household servants specified in employment agreements that they would not eat lobster more than twice a week.It was also commonly served at prisons, which tells you something about prison food. Only by cleverly marketing lobster as an indulgence for the privileged made it cost so much. It became a vehicle for enormous profit spawning a multi-billion dollar global industry in the process. This mythical affection for lobster flesh - not its practical value in terms of taste, nutrition, or any other reasonable consideration - drives its value. LMAO. Wait.
Become: blackwitchmagicwoman:
auroraluciferi:

askmace:

scholarlyapproach:

DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!
Listen in the past the poor have had to improvise cheap food the rich never wanted as a means to survive. And over the many years of innovation made the food taste good until eventually the rich where like: “Oh hay you actually like that garbage? Why on earth would you like it?” Then they try it, love it, start buying it, and then drive the price up so much it becomes a luxury good.
They do this and its devastating, the food typically never becomes affordable again. It don’t matter how cheap the foo dis to produce, it doesn’t matter if there is almost no meat on the bone or its super difficult to eat and messy. Once the poor discover how to make some bit of cheap food taste good, the rich take it away via driving the price of it up.
THEY DID THIS TO RIBS.
Ribs were garage meat. Just look at them, there is hardly any meat on the bone, you have to eat them by hand usually, and they are messy. They where an undesirable cheap source of junk meat. But the poor being the poor made them taste good. (Because they don’t have much to choose from.) The rich discovered the meals the poor made with them and decided they liked ribs too. People discovered they could sell a few ribs to rich people and make way more money then selling lots of ribs to poor people and the price was driven up.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!!

They did the same to brisket.  You used to be able to get brisket for less than a dollar a pound, which meant you could get a twenty pound brisket fairly cheaply.  And then you smoked it, sliced it, and had meat for weeks if not a full month.  And it was tasty.  I grew up eating brisket at least once a month because my family could afford it.
It was a cheap meat because no rich person looks at the dangly part of the neck of a cow and goes ‘ooh, that looks tasty!’.
But then Food Network started showcasing things like barbecued brisket.  Rich people started showing up at places that weren’t just Rib Crib to get their barbeque.  And the price of brisket went up.  A lot.
I regularly see it for over five dollars a pound in stores now.  And while yeah, that might not seem like a lot when you’re talking only a pound or two of meat, brisket is normally sold in ten to twenty pound sizes.  It’s become completely unaffordable to the people that made it delicious.
Sushi used to be really cheap, too, until it became ‘trendy’.  Guess why you’re now paying twelve dollars for your order of California rolls?  Because rich people discovered something that poor people had been eating for ages.
Noticed the prices of fajita meat, chicken thighs, or ham hocks has gone up recently?  You guessed it.  Rich people are taking our food and now we’re scrambling to afford the things that we grew up eating.

Lobster is a perfect example of this phenomenon. For hundreds of years, lobster was regarded as a sort of insect larvae from the depth of the sea. It had zero appeal as a “luxury food” until people living in NY and Boston developed a taste for it. Before the 19th century, it was considered a “poverty food” or used as fertilizer and bait - some household servants specified in employment agreements that they would not eat lobster more than twice a week.It was also commonly served at prisons, which tells you something about prison food.
Only by cleverly marketing lobster as an indulgence for the privileged made it cost so much. It became a vehicle for enormous profit spawning a multi-billion dollar global industry in the process. This mythical affection for lobster flesh - not its practical value in terms of taste, nutrition, or any other reasonable consideration - drives its value. 



LMAO. Wait.

blackwitchmagicwoman: auroraluciferi: askmace: scholarlyapproach: DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN TO CEREAL!!! Listen in the past the poor have...

Become: S tumblintuck Follow O dear-tumbir PETA you guys remember when PETA stole people pets off their porches and euthanized them? you guys remember how it came out that PETA kills about 90% of the animals it takes in, including healthy and adoptable puppies and kittens, stating " We could become a no-kill shelter immediately. It means we wouldn't do as much work"? you guys remember when PETA advocated killing all pit bulls for the crime of being pit bulls? you guys remember when PETA handed out these comics to children when there were no adults looking? you guys remember when they made a porn site and then filled it with videos of animal abuse, and (also in that link) claimed cats should be vegetarian? you guys remember when PETA lied about sheep shearing, got caught, and defended the lie as true even after they admitted the sheep in their picture wasn't even real? you guys remember when they tried to excuse their horrifying ways by claiming that the person who exposed them was manipulating the facts by taking them and putting them in the wrong context? Because I remember. I remember everything. And I'm gonna make sure everyone else remembers too. testingforcake23 Why would they kill pit bulls they're sweeties a dear-tumbir Because PETA does not care about animals. they do not care that these dogs live and breathe and feel and want love like every other dog. they do not care about the history of human/dog bonding and co-evolution, they do not care that dogs and human beings have relied on each other for millennia, they do not care that its cruel and morally repugnant to put down an animal just because you can, they do not care about animals. PETA cares about money and publicity, its a corporation run by a psychopath who is afraid of pitts as it states in the link: she was apparently bit by one, and now she hates them. PETA doesn't give a rats ass about animals. They just want to kill and make money off of idiots who fall of their spiel. testingforcake23 Some celebs support them i-n-m-h ah c'mon, dear-tumbir, I think you're being a bit harsh. I mean, okay, PETA's done some questionable things, but it's not like they've also -spread false information about milk causing autism based on outdated bullshit information -used holocaust imagery to compare the meat industry to concentration camps (no pictures) -used a young man's brutal death as a way to say "yeah that's awful but it happens to animals every day and nobody cares about that" (tw: no pictures but the way the guy died is described and it is really horrible) -dressed up in KKK robes and protested outside of the Westminister Dog Show to protest breeding/pure bred dogs (tw: racism) -offered to pay the water bill for literally the poorest neighborhood in Detroit if and only if they all went vegan for a month (tw: self-righteous shitheads) -and they definitely didn't have two of their workers accept perfectly healthy animals from an animal hospital, with the implication that they would give them good homes, clarify that these animals were all healthy and well-tempered, and then euthanized them all in the back of a kill-van before dumping their dead bodies behind a grocery store (tw: PICTURES OF DEAD ANIMALS, animal death) -and they totally didn't get off pretty much scot-free for it because PETA has loads of money and lawyers to defend themselves, which coincidentally might be why the Cerate family hasn't seen justice for their kidnapped and murdered dog, Maya. (tw: animal death) Nah. PETA's not that bad. /the heaviest of all my fucking sarcasm, I am salty as a fucking winter road, lord do I fucking hate PETA) a dear-tumbir Did you think i was fucking joking, PETA? I will make sure everyone fucking remembers what you've done. adear-tumbir Bringing it back, because it's charity season and people need to know NOT to give charity to these fuckers. Source: dear-tumbir 312,250 notes While we’re remembering ancient memes, let me remind you
Become: S tumblintuck Follow
 O dear-tumbir
 PETA
 you guys remember when PETA stole
 people pets off their porches and
 euthanized them?
 you guys remember how it came out that
 PETA kills about 90% of the animals it
 takes in, including healthy and adoptable
 puppies and kittens, stating " We could
 become a no-kill shelter immediately. It
 means we wouldn't do as much work"?
 you guys remember when PETA
 advocated killing all pit bulls for the crime
 of being pit bulls?
 you guys remember when PETA handed
 out these comics to children when there
 were no adults looking?
 you guys remember when they made a
 porn site and then filled it with videos of
 animal abuse, and (also in that link)
 claimed cats should be vegetarian?
 you guys remember when PETA lied
 about sheep shearing, got caught, and
 defended the lie as true even after they
 admitted the sheep in their picture
 wasn't even real?
 you guys remember when they tried to
 excuse their horrifying ways by claiming
 that the person who exposed them was
 manipulating the facts by taking them
 and putting them in the wrong context?
 Because I remember. I remember
 everything.
 And I'm gonna make sure everyone else
 remembers too.
 testingforcake23
 Why would they kill pit bulls they're
 sweeties
 a dear-tumbir
 Because PETA does not care about
 animals. they do not care that these dogs
 live and breathe and feel and want love
 like every other dog. they do not care
 about the history of human/dog bonding
 and co-evolution, they do not care that
 dogs and human beings have relied on
 each other for millennia, they do not care
 that its cruel and morally repugnant to
 put down an animal just because you
 can, they do not care about animals.
 PETA cares about money and publicity,
 its a corporation run by a psychopath
 who is afraid of pitts as it states in the
 link: she was apparently bit by one, and
 now she hates them.
 PETA doesn't give a rats ass about
 animals. They just want to kill and make
 money off of idiots who fall of their spiel.
 testingforcake23
 Some celebs support them
 i-n-m-h
 ah c'mon, dear-tumbir, I think you're
 being a bit harsh. I mean, okay, PETA's
 done some questionable things, but it's
 not like they've also
 -spread false information about milk
 causing autism based on outdated
 bullshit information
 -used holocaust imagery to compare the
 meat industry to concentration camps
 (no pictures)
 -used a young man's brutal death as a
 way to say "yeah that's awful but it
 happens to animals every day and
 nobody cares about that" (tw: no
 pictures but the way the guy died is
 described and it is really horrible)
 -dressed up in KKK robes and protested
 outside of the Westminister Dog Show to
 protest breeding/pure bred dogs (tw:
 racism)
 -offered to pay the water bill for literally
 the poorest neighborhood in Detroit if
 and only if they all went vegan for a
 month (tw: self-righteous shitheads)
 -and they definitely didn't have two of
 their workers accept perfectly healthy
 animals from an animal hospital, with the
 implication that they would give them
 good homes, clarify that these animals
 were all healthy and well-tempered, and
 then euthanized them all in the back of a
 kill-van before dumping their dead
 bodies behind a grocery store (tw:
 PICTURES OF DEAD ANIMALS, animal
 death)
 -and they totally didn't get off pretty
 much scot-free for it because PETA has
 loads of money and lawyers to defend
 themselves, which coincidentally might
 be why the Cerate family hasn't seen
 justice for their kidnapped and murdered
 dog, Maya. (tw: animal death)
 Nah. PETA's not that bad.
 /the heaviest of all my fucking sarcasm, I
 am salty as a fucking winter road, lord do
 I fucking hate PETA)
 a dear-tumbir
 Did you think i was fucking joking, PETA?
 I will make sure everyone fucking
 remembers what you've done.
 adear-tumbir
 Bringing it back, because it's charity
 season and people need to know NOT to
 give charity to these fuckers.
 Source: dear-tumbir
 312,250 notes
While we’re remembering ancient memes, let me remind you

While we’re remembering ancient memes, let me remind you

Become: electric bulb @valarrrrrrry I've remembered one of my neighbors has ever asked me why I lock my door when I'm inside the house and I asked him how he knows that and he told me with a straight face that he has tried to open it some nights to 'greet me'. 16:19 04/09/2019 Twitter for Android 1,720 Retweets 2,524 Likes morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. reblog for that last bit to save a life If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move. You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs! That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here. Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?   Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.
Become: electric bulb
 @valarrrrrrry
 I've remembered one of my neighbors
 has ever asked me why I lock my door
 when I'm inside the house and I asked
 him how he knows that and he told
 me with a straight face that he has
 tried to open it some nights to 'greet
 me'.
 16:19 04/09/2019 Twitter for Android
 1,720 Retweets 2,524 Likes
morgrimmoon:

letsmcflytobritain:

deminat-20:

smiling-grouch:


ocean-again:

loueejii:

facelesssavior:

twitblr:

Dormant Predators



This is why I have this. Even if they can get the lock opened they can’t push the door open. Got it at Lowes for $20. 

reblog for that last bit to save a life


If you’re like me and have a large gap under your front door (someone could take a stick and just poke the leaning stick style door jam out), I recommend the Addalock. It’s small, perfect for traveling, and this lock is CRAZY. It’s so simple but the door does not move. 
You can’t see it from the other side, either. It also cost about $20, and I can’t recommend it enough. Easy to travel with, too! Great for Air BnBs!




That’s why I have these on my doors. They get drilled into the side and once its flipped over the door nothing is getting it open. Not the door being unlocked nothing, I’ve unlocked the door and pulled and pushed as hard as I could and it didn’t budge. When I go on a trip this is what I use and when I’m home I leave it on too. No one is getting in here.

Okay I know that it is necessary for many but what do you do if you need medical attention and you’re not able to open the door from the inside? Can the fire department get through these at least?  

Yes. The fire department can and will break down your door if necessary, it’s one of the reasons they have axes; it’s entirely possible for door frames to melt/expand/seize or otherwise become unopenable during a house fire but the door itself can be hacked down. Or the window. In rare cases, the wall. Firefighters don’t fuck around with collateral damage when lives are at stake.

morgrimmoon: letsmcflytobritain: deminat-20: smiling-grouch: ocean-again: loueejii: facelesssavior: twitblr: Dormant Predators...

Become: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
Become: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

Become: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake .... ...... Jake, 27 Jake, 27 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda. It won't take racial inequality to get me down on one knee. I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need. niftyshadesofjake University of Southern California niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona USC CLASS OF 2022 3,401 FRESHME 0% ganted Ethically granted admission APPLICATIO Jake, 29 Jake 28 O less than a mile away less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help I'm having trouble picking a costume. Want to help? my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting. Swipe right if you are a fan of getting boned. niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona .. let 6'0" A Caded in 5'6" 5'0" your cave of wonders POLICE DEPT. 4'6" (480) 627-9186 4'0" Yes Please Jake Arredondo 3'6" Jake, 29 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away Tired of guys lying about their height? Here is government proof I am at least 6ft. I promise that it will take more than a few rubs for anything to come out of my magic lamp. For our first date, you cook our dinner, and I will cook the meth. niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona You ok Jake, 29 Still Single O less than a mile away Jake, 27 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell). I can relate to the current bachelor. I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously. Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. This is the first one I had ever created (bad quality). This joke took 1,000+ hours to máke. niftyshadesofjake et niftyshadesofjake Hmargemadders.com Make America Accessible Again Jake, 24 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away About Jake I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my new company, Largeladders.com If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want me to pay for dinner Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into your arms. It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.
Become: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 ....
 ......
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda.
 It won't take racial inequality to get me down
 on one knee.
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need.
 niftyshadesofjake
 University of Southern California
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 3,401
 FRESHME
 0% ganted
 Ethically
 granted
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 Jake, 29
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 I'm having trouble picking a costume.
 Want to help?
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting.
 Swipe right if you are a fan of getting
 boned.
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ..
 let
 6'0"
 A Caded in
 5'6"
 5'0"
 your cave of wonders
 POLICE DEPT.
 4'6"
 (480) 627-9186
 4'0"
 Yes Please
 Jake Arredondo
 3'6"
 Jake, 29
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 Tired of guys lying about their height?
 Here is government proof I am at least 6ft.
 I promise that it will take more than
 a few rubs for anything to come out
 of my magic lamp.
 For our first date, you cook our dinner,
 and I will cook the meth.
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 You ok
 Jake, 29
 Still
 Single
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell).
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously.
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 This is the first one I had
 ever created (bad quality).
 This joke took 1,000+ hours
 to máke.
 niftyshadesofjake
 et niftyshadesofjake
 Hmargemadders.com
 Make America Accessible Again
 Jake, 24
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 About Jake
 I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated
 by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my
 new company, Largeladders.com
 If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No
 socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk
 gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me
 to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and
 you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the
 envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want
 me to pay for dinner
 Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new
 ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into
 your arms.
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

Become: Danimate-mush 2 Follow The BitterSweet Life @BitterSweetPod Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds crows and they bring her gifts in return. Here's her collection. tetraghost i wish birds brought ME presents baelgrave No, but think about this. The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them. They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude." 2 kedreeva It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for the food. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved. These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when they are out of the yard. How do we know? One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her. Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared enough to bring it back to her. Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans #THIS IS ADORABLE 1,268,331 notes Be kind to animals
Become: Danimate-mush
 2 Follow
 The BitterSweet Life
 @BitterSweetPod
 Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds
 crows and they bring her gifts in return.
 Here's her collection.
 tetraghost
 i wish birds brought ME presents
 baelgrave
 No, but think about this.
 The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go
 about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in
 question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as
 recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them.
 They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with
 delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude."
 2 kedreeva
 It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch
 the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these
 birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater
 and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station
 and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and
 sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for
 the food.
 BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE
 These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds
 are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved.
 These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when
 they are out of the yard. How do we know?
 One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was
 photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's
 lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so
 she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge
 of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her.
 Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were
 smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared
 enough to bring it back to her.
 Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans
 #THIS IS ADORABLE
 1,268,331 notes
Be kind to animals

Be kind to animals

Become: Danimate-mush 2 Follow The BitterSweet Life @BitterSweetPod Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds crows and they bring her gifts in return. Here's her collection. tetraghost i wish birds brought ME presents baelgrave No, but think about this. The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them. They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude." 2 kedreeva It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for the food. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved. These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when they are out of the yard. How do we know? One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her. Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared enough to bring it back to her. Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans #THIS IS ADORABLE 1,268,331 notes Be kind to animals
Become: Danimate-mush
 2 Follow
 The BitterSweet Life
 @BitterSweetPod
 Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds
 crows and they bring her gifts in return.
 Here's her collection.
 tetraghost
 i wish birds brought ME presents
 baelgrave
 No, but think about this.
 The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go
 about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or lunique thing/ in
 question. What gets me is that the *first* thing on their minds as
 recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them.
 They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with
 delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude."
 2 kedreeva
 It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch
 the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these
 birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater
 and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station
 and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and
 sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment behind for
 the food.
 BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE
 These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds
 are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved.
 These crows are keeping track of this girl and her mother even when
 they are out of the yard. How do we know?
 One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was
 photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's
 lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so
 she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge
 of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her.
 Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they were
 smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared
 enough to bring it back to her.
 Source: tetraghost #animais #stories #tiny humans
 #THIS IS ADORABLE
 1,268,331 notes
Be kind to animals

Be kind to animals

Become: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
Become: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material
 Sit on the floor in front of your dog.
 Place smaller dogs on your lap.
 How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe
 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand.
 Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz-
 zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other.
 3 Raise the dog's nose.
 Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the
 jaw opens
 Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your
 dominant hand.
 Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw
 further.
 Use a stick to scrape out poop from
 beneath the tread of your shoe.
 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth.
 Close the mouth.
 Tilt up the chin.
 Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with
 swallowing.
 BGive the dog a treat.
 BE AWARE!
 Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow.
 Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets
 is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines
 become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill.
 Use your band to keep the
 dog's mouth closed after
 placing the pill in bis mouth.
 Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb.
 Dip shoe bottom into park fountain
 Page 27

 Dry the dog.
 Emergency Rain Gear
 7 Repeat washing, if necessary.
 This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48
 hours before bathing a second time.
 Cut or tear holes in
 a plastic shopping
 bag for the dog's
 paws and head. Use a
 kitchen- or yard-sized
 bag for larger breeds.
 Carefully slip the bag
 over the dog's head,
 and ease the front and
 WARNING!
 Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal
 glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet
 furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can
 cause nausea and dizziness in humans.
 THANK YOU
 Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to
 anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take
 HAVE A NICE
 DAY
 to deodorize it.
 back paws through the
 Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites
 holes.
 How To GIVE A DoG CPR
 Position the dog on her side.
 The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the
 dog is on a firm surface.
 2 Kneel next to the dog.
 B Compress the chest.
 For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs
 at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the
 chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate
 every five compressions with one breath. For medium to
 large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top
 of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where
 the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to
 three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com
 pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than
 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once
 per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath.
 How To GET RiD oF SKUNK
 ODOR ON YOUR Doc
 Keep the dog outside.
 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water.
 4 Check for a hearthbeat.
 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry.
 The compound used to remove skunk odor 4
 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin.
 After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found,
 continue with compressions.
 discolor fab-
 can
 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash.
 Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of
 baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients
 will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf-
 ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need
 To give artificial
 respiration, tilt the dog's
 bead back, place hand
 around the muzzle,
 put your mouth over
 the nose, and breathe
 into the dog's
 more.
 5 Apply mixture immediately.
 Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as
 this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or
 outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and
 cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops,
 then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists.
 nose.
 K YO
 A NICE
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

Become: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
Become: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material
 Sit on the floor in front of your dog.
 Place smaller dogs on your lap.
 How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe
 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand.
 Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz-
 zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other.
 3 Raise the dog's nose.
 Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the
 jaw opens
 Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your
 dominant hand.
 Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw
 further.
 Use a stick to scrape out poop from
 beneath the tread of your shoe.
 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth.
 Close the mouth.
 Tilt up the chin.
 Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with
 swallowing.
 BGive the dog a treat.
 BE AWARE!
 Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow.
 Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets
 is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines
 become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill.
 Use your band to keep the
 dog's mouth closed after
 placing the pill in bis mouth.
 Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb.
 Dip shoe bottom into park fountain
 Page 27

 Dry the dog.
 Emergency Rain Gear
 7 Repeat washing, if necessary.
 This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48
 hours before bathing a second time.
 Cut or tear holes in
 a plastic shopping
 bag for the dog's
 paws and head. Use a
 kitchen- or yard-sized
 bag for larger breeds.
 Carefully slip the bag
 over the dog's head,
 and ease the front and
 WARNING!
 Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal
 glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet
 furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can
 cause nausea and dizziness in humans.
 THANK YOU
 Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to
 anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take
 HAVE A NICE
 DAY
 to deodorize it.
 back paws through the
 Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites
 holes.
 How To GIVE A DoG CPR
 Position the dog on her side.
 The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the
 dog is on a firm surface.
 2 Kneel next to the dog.
 B Compress the chest.
 For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs
 at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the
 chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate
 every five compressions with one breath. For medium to
 large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top
 of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where
 the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to
 three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com
 pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than
 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once
 per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath.
 How To GET RiD oF SKUNK
 ODOR ON YOUR Doc
 Keep the dog outside.
 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water.
 4 Check for a hearthbeat.
 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry.
 The compound used to remove skunk odor 4
 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin.
 After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found,
 continue with compressions.
 discolor fab-
 can
 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash.
 Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of
 baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients
 will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf-
 ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need
 To give artificial
 respiration, tilt the dog's
 bead back, place hand
 around the muzzle,
 put your mouth over
 the nose, and breathe
 into the dog's
 more.
 5 Apply mixture immediately.
 Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as
 this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or
 outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and
 cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops,
 then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists.
 nose.
 K YO
 A NICE
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

Become: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
Become: How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material
 Sit on the floor in front of your dog.
 Place smaller dogs on your lap.
 How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe
 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand.
 Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz-
 zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other.
 3 Raise the dog's nose.
 Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the
 jaw opens
 Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your
 dominant hand.
 Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw
 further.
 Use a stick to scrape out poop from
 beneath the tread of your shoe.
 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth.
 Close the mouth.
 Tilt up the chin.
 Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with
 swallowing.
 BGive the dog a treat.
 BE AWARE!
 Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow.
 Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets
 is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines
 become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill.
 Use your band to keep the
 dog's mouth closed after
 placing the pill in bis mouth.
 Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb.
 Dip shoe bottom into park fountain
 Page 27

 Dry the dog.
 Emergency Rain Gear
 7 Repeat washing, if necessary.
 This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48
 hours before bathing a second time.
 Cut or tear holes in
 a plastic shopping
 bag for the dog's
 paws and head. Use a
 kitchen- or yard-sized
 bag for larger breeds.
 Carefully slip the bag
 over the dog's head,
 and ease the front and
 WARNING!
 Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal
 glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet
 furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can
 cause nausea and dizziness in humans.
 THANK YOU
 Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to
 anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take
 HAVE A NICE
 DAY
 to deodorize it.
 back paws through the
 Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites
 holes.
 How To GIVE A DoG CPR
 Position the dog on her side.
 The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the
 dog is on a firm surface.
 2 Kneel next to the dog.
 B Compress the chest.
 For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs
 at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the
 chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate
 every five compressions with one breath. For medium to
 large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top
 of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where
 the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to
 three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com
 pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than
 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once
 per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath.
 How To GET RiD oF SKUNK
 ODOR ON YOUR Doc
 Keep the dog outside.
 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water.
 4 Check for a hearthbeat.
 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry.
 The compound used to remove skunk odor 4
 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin.
 After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found,
 continue with compressions.
 discolor fab-
 can
 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash.
 Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of
 baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients
 will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf-
 ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need
 To give artificial
 respiration, tilt the dog's
 bead back, place hand
 around the muzzle,
 put your mouth over
 the nose, and breathe
 into the dog's
 more.
 5 Apply mixture immediately.
 Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as
 this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or
 outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and
 cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops,
 then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists.
 nose.
 K YO
 A NICE
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07