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Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page. BATHAN INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer. He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan BATMAN This is now a safe city. I have punched a penguin into prison ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham ALFRED Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne. An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney. BATMAN No! It is Two-Face and One-Face They hate me for being a bat Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home. BATMAN (CONT 'D) It is just you and I, the Joker Bat versus clown. Moral enemies THE JOKER I am such a freak. Society is bad You drink water, I drink anarchy BATMAN I drink bats just like a bat would! Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power. THE JOKER I have never followed a rule. That is my rule. Do you follow? I don't BATMAN Alfred, give birth to Robin Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman THE JOKER Happy batday, Birthman Batman opens the present since he's a coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke. good guy. It contains a meirl
Bad, Batman, and Joker: Thread
 Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000
 hours of Batman movies and then
 asked it to write a Batman movie
 of its own. Here is the first page.
 BATHAN
 INT. TRADITIONAL BATCAVE
 BATMAN stands next to his batmobile and uses hia batcomputer.
 He'e sometimes Bruce Wayne sometimes Batman. Alltimes orphan
 BATMAN
 This is now a safe city. I have
 punched a penguin into prison
 ALFRED, Batman's loyal batler, carries a tray of goth ham
 ALFRED
 Eat a dinner, Mattress Wayne.
 An explosion explodes. THE JOKER and TWo-FACE enter the cave
 Joker is a clown but insane. Two-Face is a man but attorney.
 BATMAN
 No! It is Two-Face and One-Face
 They hate me for being a bat
 Batman throws Alfred at Two-Face. Two-Face flips Alfred like
 a coin. Alfred lands heade up which mean8 Two-Face goes home.
 BATMAN (CONT 'D)
 It is just you and I, the Joker
 Bat versus clown. Moral enemies
 THE JOKER
 I am such a freak. Society is bad
 You drink water, I drink anarchy
 BATMAN
 I drink bats just like a bat would!
 Batman looks around for his parents, but they are still dead
 This makes him have anger. He fires a batrocket. The Joker
 deflects it with his sick sense of humor. A clownly power.
 THE JOKER
 I have never followed a rule. That
 is my rule. Do you follow? I don't
 BATMAN
 Alfred, give birth to Robin
 Alfred begins the process since it is his job. The Joker now
 has a present in his hand. He juggles it over to Batman
 THE JOKER
 Happy batday, Birthman
 Batman opens the present since he's a
 coupon for new parents, but is expired. This is a Joker joke.
 good guy. It contains a
meirl

meirl

Old, Anarchy, and Ww2: This guy being forced to apologize for calling a literal WW2 antifascist “the original antifa”.
Old, Anarchy, and Ww2: This guy being forced to apologize for calling a literal WW2 antifascist “the original antifa”.

This guy being forced to apologize for calling a literal WW2 antifascist “the original antifa”.

Fake, Fucking, and Girls: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy I'm going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl's number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, "I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I'll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand." Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head whoamiamneko If anyone ever does this to me l'll call them out on being a con artist a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Joke's on you, buddy. That'll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozern times? I can take a punch But then eventually, l'll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I'Il just speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can't figure out why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem that is? Not fucking mine Because l'm a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who's gonna' stop me then? The ghost cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can't become ghosts because they just go straight to hell. It's basic math whoamiamneko Moral of the story, don't be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and become a lonely ghost a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy First of all, don't you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever again And second, where did I say l'd be lonely? I'd be a ghost on a motorcycle. That's the sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't bone Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy How to become a legend
Fake, Fucking, and Girls: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 I'm going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight
 dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl's number in under five minutes and
 then politely walk up her and say, "I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get
 your number. I'll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up
 line and then write a fake number on my hand."
 Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody
 loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head
 whoamiamneko
 If anyone ever does this to me l'll call them out on being a con artist
 a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 Joke's on you, buddy. That'll only have consequences the first, what, couple dozern
 times? I can take a punch
 But then eventually, l'll have money for the bike, and whenever I get called out, I'Il just
 speed off, and, sure, maybe I crash and die in a gutter and the police can't figure out
 why I have hundreds of fake phone numbers stuffed in my jacket and it launches a
 huge investigation that becomes sort of a local legend, but you know whose problem
 that is? Not fucking mine
 Because l'm a slutty motorcycle ghost, and who's gonna' stop me then? The ghost
 cops? Nice try. Everybody knows cops can't become ghosts because they just go
 straight to hell. It's basic math
 whoamiamneko
 Moral of the story, don't be a con artist or you will die in a horrible accident and
 become a lonely ghost
 a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 First of all, don't you ever accuse me of having morals, narrative or otherwise, ever
 again
 And second, where did I say l'd be lonely? I'd be a ghost on a motorcycle. That's the
 sexiest thing that there is. You look me in the eyes and tell me you wouldn't bone
 Ghostrider. Look me in the goddamn eyes
 Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
How to become a legend

How to become a legend

Big Dick, Church, and Dad: liamdryden a-wild-haggis a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he just disowned me) that I'm trans and now he's threatening to come to work and make a scene, and I know I should be upset, but like. What's he gonna say exactly? And to whom? Because imagining a haggard and likely shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker barging through the grocery store like, "HEY!!! THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3" EFFEMINATE KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY AIN'T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA DICKLESS ABOMINATION??" is wild. What's it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call my manager? "HELLO, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED." What the fuck a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy Odds are he's more embarrassed of having a trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work, so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I'm trans first? What then, coward? grimthetransman That's such a power move dualclock This is exactly the struggle I'm having with my own mother right now and honestly? i sort of did that, but at the church i grew up in. my mom was like "oh so what if i tell the whole church youre trans" as if she had forgotten that nearly everyone who goes to my church is actually gay, like elderly retired gay couples, so i was like "haha okay," and told everyone. And lemme just say, watching a 5'2", 87 year old gay man stop my mother mid-sentance to say "Actually, I think he prefers to go by Aiden now." was the BIGGEST dick energy ive ever seen Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy 168,671 notes That old man has real big dick energy
Big Dick, Church, and Dad: liamdryden
 a-wild-haggis
 a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 Someone told my ex-dad (not a sex thing; he
 just disowned me) that I'm trans and now
 he's threatening to come to work and make a
 scene, and I know I should be upset, but like.
 What's he gonna say exactly? And to whom?
 Because imagining a haggard and likely
 shitfaced Pennsylvania construction worker
 barging through the grocery store like, "HEY!!!
 THAT BROAD-HIPPED 5'3" EFFEMINATE
 KID WITH THE CONSPICUOUSLY BIZARRE
 NAME WHO SPEAKS IN A CARTOONISHLY
 AFFECTED CARICATURE OF MASCULINITY
 AIN'T GOT NO DICK!!! YOU GONNA BUY
 SCRATCH OFF TICKETS FROM SOME KINDA
 DICKLESS ABOMINATION??" is wild. What's
 it going to accomplish? Or is he gonna call
 my manager? "HELLO, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A
 FRAUD IN YOUR DELI DEPARTMENT. THERE
 IS NOT SAUSAGE AS ADVERTISED." What the
 fuck
 a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 Odds are he's more embarrassed of having a
 trans ex-kid than I am of being outed at work,
 so what if I go to his job and tell everyone I'm
 trans first? What then, coward?
 grimthetransman
 That's such a power move
 dualclock
 This is exactly the struggle I'm having with
 my own mother right now and honestly? i sort
 of did that, but at the church i grew up in. my
 mom was like "oh so what if i tell the whole
 church youre trans" as if she had forgotten
 that nearly everyone who goes to my church
 is actually gay, like elderly retired gay couples,
 so i was like "haha okay," and told everyone.
 And lemme just say, watching a 5'2", 87 year
 old gay man stop my mother mid-sentance to
 say "Actually, I think he prefers to go by Aiden
 now." was the BIGGEST dick energy ive ever
 seen
 Source: a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy
 168,671 notes
That old man has real big dick energy

That old man has real big dick energy

America, Ben Franklin, and Disappointed: The Constitution should have a warning label, failure to read and understand this document Will result in deathh and slavery A WARNING LABEL. Not mandatory but just a simple WARNING! The more I try to understand my oath to defend the constitution against enemies foreign and domestic the more I am disappointed at the idea. How can you defend a document for people that have never read it , understood it or care for it. It’s impossible to defend a document that half of our people have a liberal indoctrination & perception of it. A document you aren’t allowed to defend. If we TRULLY believed in the idea of defending something as important as our Bill Of Rights, groups like Antifa or the Communist Party of America wouldn’t exist. Unconstitutional laws like gun control laws wouldn’t exist. If this doesn't melt your heart, you don't have one. "You have a Republic..if you can keep it." Ben Franklin "The office of governmentis not to confer happiness but to give men opportunity to work out happiness for themselves. " William Ellery Channing 1780-1842 "You will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve YOUR freedom. I hope you will make a good use of it.” John Adams "If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” George Washington "Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster, and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution, because if the American Constitution should fail, there will be anarchy throughout the world.” Daniel Webster
America, Ben Franklin, and Disappointed: The Constitution
 should have a
 warning label,
 failure to read and
 understand this
 document Will
 result in deathh
 and slavery
A WARNING LABEL. Not mandatory but just a simple WARNING! The more I try to understand my oath to defend the constitution against enemies foreign and domestic the more I am disappointed at the idea. How can you defend a document for people that have never read it , understood it or care for it. It’s impossible to defend a document that half of our people have a liberal indoctrination & perception of it. A document you aren’t allowed to defend. If we TRULLY believed in the idea of defending something as important as our Bill Of Rights, groups like Antifa or the Communist Party of America wouldn’t exist. Unconstitutional laws like gun control laws wouldn’t exist. If this doesn't melt your heart, you don't have one. "You have a Republic..if you can keep it." Ben Franklin "The office of governmentis not to confer happiness but to give men opportunity to work out happiness for themselves. " William Ellery Channing 1780-1842 "You will never know how much it has cost my generation to preserve YOUR freedom. I hope you will make a good use of it.” John Adams "If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.” George Washington "Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster, and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution, because if the American Constitution should fail, there will be anarchy throughout the world.” Daniel Webster

A WARNING LABEL. Not mandatory but just a simple WARNING! The more I try to understand my oath to defend the constitution against enemies fo...