glam00ur all 46 excuses on my friends wall 1 i was just really really early for tomorrow 2 we can’t all be usain bolt 3 in this day and age we shouldn’t need labels like “late” 4 i had pe first period do you blame me 5 i really really didn’t want to sing 6 my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates 7 you can’t tell me how to live my life 8 #YOLO 9 my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic 10 there was a freak yachting accident 11 i am a fucking retard 12 this is just for my wall 13 do you even read these 14 “it does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop” 15 i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction 16 my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight 17 sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win 18 traffic jammy jammy jam 19 how can i go to school when alex turner 20 my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her 21 i was sticking it to the man 22 i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 23 fifty shades of late i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued 24 part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset 25 my meth lab caught fire 26 my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be 27 i was sad 28 it was a nice day so i walked leisurely 29 i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag” 30 i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth 31 2 kool 4 scool 32 i had to stop collaborate and listen 33 i tried 34 i’m sorry i’m late it’s not my fault my auntie was killed and i joined a cult 35 a haiku about lateness late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late late 36 my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking 37 i was fashionably late 38 i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg 39 i did not choose the late life the late life chose me 40 do 41 you 42 even 43 read 44 these 45 i was fighting al qaeda 46 traffic YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN Meme

best friend








Sarah Palin


found @ 24 likes ON 2020-01-13 08:04:42 BY

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