bibliotecaria-d ebonykain karacat othersideofforty erinnightwalker ripped-up-jeans-and-glitter erinnightwalker acaffeinejunkie erinnightwalker erinnightwalker geostatonary sixpenceee “A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard Its about 8 feet tall” Source “HELLO NEIGHBOR STEVE I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU TO BARBEQUE ON THE EVE OF THE BLOOD MOON I FEEL WE GOT OFF TO A BAD START” “NEIGHBOR STEVE DO YOU NOT WISH TO PARTAKE OF THE UNCLEAN FLESH-MEATS OF PIGS AND THE POLLUTED ESSENCES OF TOMATO? PERHAPS YOU ARE A CAROLINA STYLE MAN NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “PUT THE GUN AWAY NEIGHBOR STEVE YOU KNOW I SHALL ONLY RISE AGAIN WITH THE DAWNING OF THE MOON WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS MANY TIMES” “LOOK AT THIS PICTURE MY SON DREW OF YOU AND CHILD TIMMY YOUR SON ARE THEY NOT THE PICTURE OF PACT-MATES? THIS COULD BE YOU AND ME NEIGHBOR STEVE” “YOU MISSED THE UNHOLY NEXUS OF POWER THAT IS THE KEY TO MY CORPOREAL FORM NEIGHBOR STEVE YOU WILL NEED TO RELOAD NOW SO I WILL GO INSIDE TO MY HELL-WIFE AND PUT YOU DOWN AS A SOLID ‘MAYBE’“ I have the feeling that the families get along great except for Steve Like the wives are baking questionable brownies together the kids are playing together Antler Guy occasionally takes Son and Timmy to school no car just carries them in huge swinging strides through a nexus of ungoldly sights in a swirling netherworld shortcut Sometimes they stop for McDonalds Hell-wife gave them a potted Audrey Jr Steve’s wife who I now christen Sharon gave them a begonia One time Steve tries throwing holy water but all Antler Guy does is thank him saying that no Antler Guy isn’t Catholic but it’s the thought that counts he is so kind to water his creeping deathshade vines regardless For Christmas Antler Guy gives Steve a case of ammunition To be funnysarcastically mean Steve gets Antler Guy the world’s most hideous Christmas sweater singing light-up reindeer included He immediately regrets it because not only does Antler Guy love it and wears it for several months it will never need batteries because Antler Guy powers it with his own eldritch aura When they come back from a holiday to Hawaii Steve is horrified to find out Sharon bought them matching Hawaiian shirts He is even more horrified that his wife means it that if he doesn’t wear it he will forever sleep on the couch I want to expand on this since I see it’s still passing around and the ideas have grown in my brainmeats What drives Steve up the wall and down the other side is how… normal… everyone treats the Abominations Yes that is their last name No it is not a joke Son was asked his last name for the standardized testing at school had a quick conference with Timmy and decided that Son Abomination sounded good “Since my dad calls your dad the Abomination anyway and we can paint it on your mailbox just like the Henderson’s did theirs!” Antler Guy agreed and did a lovely rendition of it for the mailbox with only a few glyphs of soul-rending terror added to keep up to snuff The Great Plant Exchange went beautifully though the Audrey Jr named Aubergine for the lovely shade of purple poison that drips from her fangs is on a diet at the moment She was in cahoots with the cat and the dog to get into the good people food and ate two frozen turkeys all herself Now she’s restricted to the hallway table to answer the phone and the door Steve actually likes her and keeps slipping her hotdogs when Sharon isn’t looking Their door-to-door salesman rates have dropped dramatically since she changed abodes Hell-wife has almost gotten the begonia to bloom and say it’s first words The homeowner’s association just loves the Abominations All paperwork stamped and dotted in on time and in triplicate Antler Guy likes filing says it reminds him of his old job There is a resident who spent 20 years as a lawyer and they have long animated conversations about all sorts of things that make Steve swear to never need legal counsel Hell-wife joined the PTA and spearheaded a committee to fundraise in the fall with a haunted house It was a county-wide hit though the claims that a particularly rowdy group had been deliberately lost in a timeslip to the Outer Doors Of Chaos was firmly rebuffed Most young people nowadays it was agreed just couldn’t appreciate flute music Antler Guy really does try to connect with Steve The surprise birthday party was perhaps a bit much given that most participants do not have the ability to suddenly materialize in front of the guest of honor to give them a hug Sharon assured them that Steve normally screams on his birthday and the remains of the cake were heartily enjoyed by all A plate was saved for Steve once he came down from the treehouse After the Hawaii trip which was a present for his birthday and the Matching Shirt Ultimatum which was Sharon’s attempt at patching things up with Antler Guy he really was sad about the birthday screaming Steve finally grabs his courage in both hands plus the shotgun which let’s face it is about as useful as a teddybear at the moment but it does comfort him and confronts Antler Guy about why such a group of……Abominations could possibly come to his quiet slice of suburban bliss “……BUT NEIGHBOR STEVE WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE” “No no no I read it in a book! Don’t you have to be invited or something?!” “WELL YES TO THE HUMAN WORLD BUT THIS IS NOT THE HUMAN WORLD AS YOUR THREE-DIMENSIONAL BRAIN PERCEIVES IT” “What the hell does that mean?!!” “DID YOU NOT KNOW NEIGHBOR STEVE? LEGALLY SPEAKING ALL OF THE VASTNESS OF HUMAN SUBURBIA IS IN FACT A PART OF HELL” “……” “THE FLAMINGOES ARE THE BOUNDARY MARKERS IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE FLAMING SKULLS WERE TOO KITSCHY FOR MODERN TIMES” Reblogging cause I kind of want more of this… Since you asked nicely ^_^ Antler Guy as one may have noticed is a calm sort of fellow In the face of human atrocities he displays a curious Zen sort of state of mind Timmy asks Son if he’d ever seen his dad angry and Son hasn’t When asked Timmy says that yeah his dad gets mad but it’s like the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua down the street- mostly high-pitched noise and occasionally TV remote chewing Sharon replaces the poor thing every 3 months or so When pressed gently at the monthly book club and with many cups of tea and at least one daiquiri Hellwife admits that this comes from serving many years at his old job After the revelation of the nature of his neighborhood Steve has not been overtly mean to Antler Guy Not yet in the realm of friends but vastly better than before No more holy water no more shotgun blasts Still the occasional jumpscare but Antler Guy really can’t help that part They even occasionally share news over the fence as Antler Guy trains the creeping deathshade vines in proper oral hygiene and Steve waters his lawn and occasionally slips a goldfish cracker to a deathshade vine that looks particularly adorable Aubergine has trained him well Which is how Antler Guy learns about the peeping tom that’s been plaguing the adjacent streets Apparently the pervert has been getting bolder and rattling doors He almost broke into one apartment whose occupants were a single mother and her daughter Mildred Millie a shy girl who is a great horror fan and firm friends with Timmy and Son had missed school because of it Steve knew because Sharon had told him on her way to deliver a tuna casserole and a double batch of brownies to the pair Sharon has been dubbed the unoffical mob boss of the Mother’s Mafia She is quite pleased with this title He tells her to wait confers briefly with Aubergine and sends her along with “Only as a loan you know but Auby wants to stretch her roots and she’d probably like getting all ribboned and curled anyway Little girls still do that right?” She has strict orders to bite anyone that makes Millie or her mother cry Steve is dubbed the official neighborhood marshmallow for this The bookclub buys him a jar of marshmallow fluff in commemoration He turns to look at Antler Guy and freezes much as a chihuahua will when faced with a hungry hellhound “You…you alright there buddy?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞̀͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐͟ͅ “ “Uh yeah I guess not Did you uh know you’re kinda fuzzing at the edges there?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞̀͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐͟ͅ “ “Right Um Well” Steven makes a very ungraceful exit when space starts bending around Antler Guy’s still unmoving form When Steve sees a shadowy form in his back yard when he gets up to pee that night there’s no hesitation He grabs the shotgun from the cabinet and peeks out the back door window Just in time to see a nebulous form of soul-wrenching terror engulf the man reaching for the door handle A sliver of moonlight reveals a very familiar eyesocket After a moment and a sincere prayer of thanks that he had already peed cause otherwise he’d have done it then and there Steve opens the door The nebulous form freezes reality bending around the edges “Nice night for it huh?” “…Y̮̮͍͔͇͙͙̟̐͌͛̓̏͞͡Eͩͭͮ̓̍ͯ̀ͧ͏̵̴̛̺̠̱͕̕ͅŞ̢͈̹̮̟̳̪̩̘͍̤̲̻͈̱̳͈̭̝̥̦͚͍̽̋́ͩ̃͋̎ͩ̈͆̀̇ͫ̃̓͆̿̇ͪ͊ͧ̃͛͌͘͢͢͟͜͢ͅ “ “Guy won’t scare anymore litttle girls will he?” “Ň̵̴̫̫̙͙̻̞͈̫̥̪̱͈͈̯̍̀̀͆ͫ̒̿̄͗͘͡͝ͅO̊͑̑͒̎͑̃ͬͭͮ̅̔̆̃̉ͯ̇͗̀҉̵̵̻̜̞͉̟͙͚̻̪̼̖͈̣͈̙̣̜̻̭̩̝̠̞̀͗ͤͥ̓͗ͬ̓̄͊̓̅̐ͩͮͧͤ̽̐͟ͅ “ “Good G’night then Oh and if Hellwife has an extra Audrey Jr that needs a home let me know Millie likes Aubergine a lot but Augy’s just too big for the apartment Dunno if they come in miniatures though” “ I̴̛̟̭͉̮̜̩̬̮̣̘̰͚̩͙̟̳͔̜̙͑̂̆̆͗͒̀ ͖̖̰͉̥͖͔̙̤̺͍̳͈̹͙̣̞̇̇ͤ͒̅̈́͆̽ͧ́̚̚̕͘W̶̶̱͈̞͖̼̟̣̮̌͂͒̈́͑͌͒͋̍ͮ͗̈ͣ̓ͤ͘͟I̴̶̞̥̩͇̔ͩͦ̇̉̾ͣͬ̀̀̒͒ͧ͛͌͛͆̚͘͢ͅͅL̠̟͕̠̟̪̰̻ͯ͂͊ͥ̍̏͋̐ͬ̉̆̈̀͠L̸̴̞̭͔̮͈͎̮͇͓͖̱̻̣ͦ͑̉ͮͩ́ͬͨͣ͊͊ͤͩ͊̑͗͘͜͞ ̸̡̩̖̞̩̻̩̪̭͙̳͚͇̟̺͖̑͊ͫ̀͆ͨ̉̔̓̂̓̋T̷̷̟͉̟̻̻̪̞̰̯̻͈̣̰̬̻̾͐́ͭ̓̅́͡H͇̬̪̩̬̝̣͍͈͇ͯ͛̏͌ͮͧͭͦ͟͜A̴̴̤͕͈̤̮̞̱̯͔͕̙͔͖̰̬̰͈̠ͥ̏ͥ̍̽ͧ̀͝N͗̓͋̃̈̑̀̅ͣ̽̒̂̄ͯͩͤ͏̢͢͏͈̯͎̪͇̟̠͔̯͓͓̰̠̱̠̳͕̳͝K̢̓ͧ͛͛ͣ̄̓̓ͯ̍̈̈́̌͂̔͟҉̛̘̥̖̤̦̻̳͙͟ ̢̢̻̥̹̣̞͉̘͇͚͍̖̯̘͚͔̗̩͓͐ͮ͂͂̀̚͘͠Y̜̞͇̳̗̬͎̰̙̜̩̪͎̞̙̠̔͂̌̃́̀O͇̺̲͙͍̬̳̘͈̱̜̝͔̖̊ͥ̿ͫͤͫͫͩ͋̓̃ͦ̈̄͢͟Ū̶̸̢͖̲̦̠̤͎̙͉̦͖̖͓͍̺̺̞͓̞̹̗̻̣͈͕̠̬̦ͪͯ͐͆͆ͭͯ͗ͦ̄̅̌̈̃̾ͭ̋ͧͫ̆ͤͬͨͦ͒͂ͨ̿ͩͪͧ͛̒̂̂͗ͨ̌͆ͥͭ͒̉͘͘͢͢͜͠͡͞͏̶̷̨̧̙͖̰̝̙̲͓̙͕͍̥̳̩̮͎̱̼̬͖̰͎͚͙̥̙̤̳̮̺̙͖̞͔̗͎͍̹̖͕̮͕̞̰͍͚͖́̓͋͋ͦ̓̓ͯ͆͛̏ͫ̅ͯ̑̆ͮ͐ͩͦ̌̽̾̏̌ͪ̃̐̐̌̌̅̉͑ͧͪͪͬ̓͐́͛̿͘͘͠͠͞ …NEIGHBOR STEVE” “Anytime” There are no more peeping reports Millie brings back Aubergine and spends an entire afternoon teaching Steve the particulars of Augy’s new “hairstyle” a gravity-defying mass of teased tendrils ribbons and barrettes in between games of tag and hide-and-seek with Timmy and Son When Antler Guy and Hellwife present her and her mother Beatrice with a tiny Audrey Jr ”pOOr ThinG Is a ruNT And wOn’T geT MorE Than A FooT taLL BEa aNd NeeDS a New FRiEnD” assures Hellwife both mother and child burst out crying Millie names it Bella after Bella Lugosi and shows it to the excited group of boys Steve and Augy included IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER!!!! Life in a subdivision partly populated with eldritch and possibly magical officially classified as “extra-dimensional” for even when faced with the physics-defying nature of their new co-habitating citizens the government cannot bring itself to acknowledge them as “magic wielding hell-beasts” as some high-ranking staff members initially suggested goes on fairly normally Sure there are a few hiccoughs The creeping deathshade vines get a stern talking to about appropriate afternoon snacks ”NOT the Fitz-Simmon’s chihuahua I don’t care how much he has it coming or what he excreted where now spit it out!” Aubergine sheds all her leaves at once and snowballs the house but does helps sweep up afterwards and moonrise is a good time to watch the night-gaunts fly by but on moondark it’s best to stay inside no matter how prettily they glow They’re somewhat similar to fireflies and don’t always check to see if their partner glows as well It wouldn’t be as much of a problem if they didn’t dive mid-coitus and drop just above the ground While the neighborhood in general is accepting of the Abominations when things get to be a bit much they tend to come to Steve Since meeting Beatrice and Millie and the formation of the Terrifying Triad known as Millie Son and Timmy Steve is the adult human male most comfortable dealing with Antler Guy on the whole street Sharon as UMB is widely held to have well steel-whatever-the-hell-she-wants and Timmy is known to run over to Antler Guy and ask for rides through “that wobbly grey place you know the one with the REALLY BIG alligators?” Still the courtesies must be observed So when a writhing sparking ball of snarling terror and teeth takes up residence in the Manzo’s tool-shed and when Animal Control refuses to come the street is banned due to a run-in with the deathshade vines Steve is called Having heard the description Steve brings Antler Guy When they get there Mr Manzo is forcibly holding the door shut Unholy yowling is coming from inside At a gesture from Antler Guy Mr Manzo leaps away and the doors blast open A 150 pound ball of whimpering flaming something hits Steve and knocks him on his ass The whimpering flaming something proceeds to slobber all over Steve his shirt his pants and a decent portion of grass in between distressed yelps “GACK!” “NEIGHBOR STEVE ARE YOU IN DISTRESS?” “GAAACKLEARGHSPLUH- DOWN boy HEEL that’s a good- Antler Guy what is this?!” “I BELIEVE IT IS A HELLHOUND NEIGHBOR STEVE” “Good grief I didn’t know they came this big and…and… Guy?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Is he supposed to be…skinless?” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE THIS VARIETY WAS BRED TO BE LAP DOGS THEIR FLAME IS MOSTLY WITHOUT HEAT AND THEY HAVE NO SKIN FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALLERGIC” “……laPDOG?!” “YES NEIGHBOR STEVE” Antler Guy lays a hand on the hellhound who tries to burrow further into Steve with little success “HE APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN RECENTLY WEANED IT WILL TAKE TIME FOR HIM TO GROW TO HIS FULL SIZE” “……” “THE SMALL BREEDS GROW MORE SLOWLY” A vile hissing emanates from the shed Mr Manzo has long since fled for the safety of his kitchen As Steve attempts to calm the frantic hell-puppy Antler Guy investigates He reaches one long hand in behind the riding lawnmower and… winces “NEIGHBOR STEVE?” “Yeah- I’m right here uh doggie not going anywhere- Guy?” “I APPEAR TO HAVE AN… ATTACHMENT” Steve is awed at the tiny ball of white fluff attached to one long thin finger He didn’t know that Antler Guy’s fingers COULD be bitten much less by a tiny kitten Which is how Steve and Sharon got Clifford ”Aww c’mon Sharon how could I pass that one up?” and Antler Guy and Hellwife get Fluffy ”NEIGHBOR STEVE ASSURES ME IT IS A TRADITIONAL TITLE” This might be the most amazing thing that ever crossed my tumblr dash OMIGOSH I’m in love I LOVE EVERY BIT OF THIS This is like the stoplight post It is Tumblr legend and I feel I must reblog it for those fortunate few who get to experience it for the first time Meme




blood moon







found @ 29 likes ON 2019-02-27 22:05:43 BY

source: tumblr